Urine my way!
When I got home last night I ran to the bathroom to poo. While I was sitting there I decided to pull a magazine out of the basket we keep next to the throne on the floor. So I grabbed the latest playboy and went to open it and some of the pages were stuck together. I started thinking to myself, "What, did I spooge on this or something?" and realized that I hadn't done anything like that. My investigation revealed a common though rarely discussed household phenomenon: urinary fallout. Many people have magazine racks or whatever on the floor next to the toilet. Well when guys pee, no matter how in control they are, tiny splashes of urine and toilet water fly through the vicinity surrounding the toilet. Same concept as the detonation of a nuclear weapon....tiny radioactive particles fly through the air contaminating things. So what to do about this problem? Well you can move the magazine rack or not have one at all. You can cover it with a plastic tarp when no magazines are being used. Or you can just allow it to happen and wash your hands thoroughly after handling the contaminated periodicals. That's the option I choose because I HAVE to have literature within arm's reach of the stoolie.
In other developments: Rockstar Supernova was good last night. Out of the 3 lowest people they kicked off the right one...Jenny. However, I think the dude who narrowly escaped the bottom three (I forget his name) with the short black hair should be kicked off. He just plain sucks. I gotta tell you....every week I watch the show my girl Storm looks hotter and hotter. Also, how cool is Dilana for trying to help everyone out? And once again, Tommy Lee proves what a bung hole he is.
Lastly I want to ask a favor...I want to try something on my blog here but before I do I'd like to know how many people actually read it. So I know of a few of you but I would like to ask that anybody reading this please reply with a comment. Even if you just say hi or hey asshole or I hate you or anything....just comment with something please. It will help me in my endeavor to know how many people read this. If I have enough readership (which I don't think I do yet) I will move forward with my project. Thanks.
posted by P-Nut @ 7:26 AM
10 Comments:
Once again you've managed to make me gag before breakfast. Although I have to say that I, too, enjoy reading material when in there.
Hmmmmm what if you sit down to pee??? I think that would solve the problem.
I friggin missed Rockstar last night. I always forget the second night or I have something to do. It's rare I get to sit in front of the tube two nights in a row.
Hey!! I read. But you already knew that.
Can't sit down to pee...I am a dude and that would violate man law.
Whatever, just push it down.
I've been so busy at work that I haven't had time to read up on your blogs. I sit down with my favorite lunch and proceed to start with last Thurs. Then, I threw up in my mouth and stopped eating. Thanks!
-Melisa
Okay so this is going well so far. I realize I will have to give this a day or two to get all the responses I am gonna get but I have a weird feeling it is just gonna be you two. You're both queens and I thank you for responding...now I just have to work on adding readership. I mean who WOULDN'T be interested in reading about farts and poo and eating rats and the occasional conservative tirade?!?!?!
Oh, thanks for replying Melisa. That's 3 people. Not enough yet but certainly better than zero. You didn't really throw up did you? If you did then I apologize.
hey there V, my name's erika. I'm a friend of Liza's. i read this daily. you crack my ass up. have a good one.
Man, what the hell do people have against a good ol' case of the 'roids?!?!?!
Hi Erika....you sound hot! :) Thanks for reading.
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