Chinese Chicken

I don't know about you but I love me some chinese food. Having worked in Manhattan I have had the opportunity to eat some of the best chinese food ever. Now we've all heard the rumors about those big-headed bastards using cats in their recipes and stuff like that right? Who hasn't? Well I have always been of the opinion that I don't care what the hell it is they're using....it tastes good so I'll eat it whether it is cat, dog or rat. So on that note here's a step by step pictorial of the preparation of one of my favorites.

Step 1: Gather the ingredients in a colander, rinse and drain



Step 2: Using a standard blowtorch, singe the tasty little critters in order to remove the fur. Be careful to hold the pesky fella by the tip of his tail as not to burn your hand.



Step 3: After removing all of the fur, wash the tasty treat down with warm water to remove all of the singed fur from the carcass.



Step 4: Slice and dice the meat into convenient bite-sized chunks that the whole family can enjoy!



Step 5: Let the meat soak for 2-3 hours in a pre-prepared marinade of peppers and seaweed. This will let the already delicious meat soak up even more tasty flavor!



Step 6: Remove the meat from the marinade and deep fry in goat fat for 5-6 minutes turning once approximately halfway through.



Step 7: Brush the fried meat with any of your favorite Chinese sauces and add a side dish of ground garlic and Rhino horn.



There you have it: Chinese Chicken! You can find this delightful dish at any of your local Asian establishments. Just look on the menu for anything labeled chicken. Just look at that plate bursting with all that tasty flavor!