Manipulate my nipples!!!
So hey hope everyone had a great weekend. Funny....I started reading the news this morning on various web sites and now I see this big thing about how all these climatologists and meteorologists are coming out of the woodwork about what a fucking sham global warming is. What happened to Al Gore's "unanimous consensus" that ALL scientists agree that global warming is real and is a problem. Just more evidence of what fucking retards these people are.
I had this big incident over the weekend. You know those pillsbury biscuits you buy in the metal and cardboard cans? You know....you have to peel the label back and then it pops open and you remove the dough and bake it? Well I am fucking PETRIFIED of those things. I mean I HATE them....I never want to open them. If we're gonna have biscuits for dinner I will make my wife open the can. I had an incident a while back which is why I am afraid. Well, over the weekend I had the hankering for some biscuits and I was the only one home. That's right.....Vinny was home alone! Well there I was faced with a quandry of what the fuck am I supposed to do now? So I downed a couple rum & cokes to dull the fear. I got the biscuit dough out and started to SLOWLY unpeel the fucker. Well when I got to a certain point where it should have opened I stopped. My heart was frigging RACING! I didn't know what to do....I was stuck and afraid to go any further. So I climbed up the stairs to my loft which overlooks the living room. I carefully lined up the can so that if I dropped it straight down it would hit the corner of the coffee table downstairs and pop open while I was still far away from it. So I lined it up, dropped it and fucking BOOM! You'd a thought a fucking bomb went off. The dough just fucking took off in this colossal explosion of goo. The living room windows, the carpet, the TV, the dog, EVERYTHING had dough on it. Well, I didn't end up having any biscuits and I had a whole lot of cleaning to do. Moral of the story? Don't get the urge for biscuits unless my wife is home!
posted by P-Nut @ 9:14 AM
4 Comments:
Hey, why don't you try those frozen Pillsbury biscuits in the bag. They are way better than the one in the can. Plus you can make one or 10, whatever you want, unlike the can where it's all or nothing.
Glad you weren't injured.
That's good thinking Liza J!!! I don't think I have ever seen those ones in the bag but it certainly sounds safer and like I won't lose an eye opening them. I will look next time I go shopping.
Close call Vinny. Glad you survived, you fucking pansy ass!!
FYI about the global warming: I heard that the ice caps on Mars are melting. I propose that we start a foundation to save Mars from global warming. Must be all those little martians driving their massive gas guzzling SUV's!!
Yeah for sure....higher solar output is being blamed for the reduction in ice caps on Mars...but I suppose it is impossible that the same may be the cause of the minimal warming of earth. Oh and I am sure it's never happened before....after all it is impossible that there are cycles in the climate!!! Man, those fucking Martians better wise up and get green!
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