Hurry up, pull my finger....

Let me tell you: last night I had such a case of the swamp ass. My wife and I were sitting on the couch and I let one go. Holy shit! I was one step away from shitting my pants. It was foul. My wife started in on me with that, "God you smell, why do you have to do that?!?!" Of course I then attacked her with "Oh, that's right, you NEVER fart". Except when she farts it is even worse....it smells like graham crackers and day-old funk! When I fart it is a big event but when she does it it's cute. Yeah sure.

Anybody see the "crotchless" pic of Britney Spears on the internet? I did and let me tell you....all those hidden fantasies I had about her.....GONE! Looks like a clam got loose from its shell and hid under her skirt. Dude, I want no part of that.

Why the long face, horse?

This is it....tomorrow is the big challenge. I am having 4 people over to my house. My wife's half-sister and fiancee and one of my West Point buddies and his wife. The army-navy game is tomorrow too. So I have to cook for all these people. I love cooking but the shitty thing is that when I cook I never end up eating anything because I am not hungry. I guess that's good though since I think I am getting fat. The half-sister and fiancee are sleeping over so I am sure we'll all end up getting loaded and playing guitar and music and hanging out talking a bunch of shit.

I bought my daughter one of those trains you set up and ride around the house. It's not for X-mas but for her birthday in January. I put it all together already though and rode it around the house last night to try it out. That thing is HUGE fun. My daughter and I will be fighting for riding time when she gets it for her birthday.

Hey anybody know what ever happened to teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron?!?!

Was anyone that reads this ever a scout? You know, boy scout, girl scout, that type of thing? I was never in the scouts because my family believed (and still does) that all the den masters (or whatever the fuck they're called) were serial molesters who were only there to scope out young boys and lure them into their tent while out in the woods camping. You know...much like Catholic Priests but only out in the woods. Well I gotta admit...I am not sure they were all that wrong. Yes I know...just like everyone says "Not all muslims are bad" they say "not all scout leaders are molesters" but think about it. What better place for a molester to establish the front of a caring, nurturing adult intent on focusing on the well-being and development of young boys while secretly honing their modus operandi of luring innocent children down the path of violation and fear?!?! By the way, that Keira Knightley is fucking hot....she's got an ass like a 10 year old boy! Umm I mean she has a nice ass.

Well, nothing else new going on. Just a lot of sitting around and waiting for the new seasons of Dancing with the Stars and My Big Fat Obnoxious fiancee to start. I'll chime in again later if anything pops up, otherwise happy weekend to everyone.