Do Women Fart?!?!
You know, what the hell is it with women and farting? Someone please answer me!! My whole life I have grown up and gone on being harangued by the opposite sex when I float an air biscuit. Do chicks not fart?!?! My wife and I will sit on the couch and I will hear a "BBBRRRRUUUUMMMMPPPP!!!!" and be like, "What the fuck? Did you just shit?" And she'll be like, "No I think it was the dog." COME ON!!!! The dog?!?! Even my daughter Samantha is starting already....she'll squeeze one out really loud and I'll say, "EEEEEWWWWWW" and she'll look around like nothing happened. Then when I spout one off she points at me and says "EEEWWWWW". What the fuck is that all about?!?! Maybe chicks don't really fart and I am just hearing things. Or the few times I have seen a chick acknowledge that they busted ass it was supposed to be cute but when I shat it was very disgusting and uncalled for. Of course I have been known to float them in public very audibly....VERY audibly but you know what they say.....it's not good for you to hold it in. I like farting in the grocery store loud enough that they can hear it in the next aisle and then they start commenting about it. I sit there pissing myself laughing.
The space shuttle returned to Earth safely this morning....not that most people care because it didn't blow up or disintegrate and was actually successful.
Most importantly once again my beloved NY Yankees clinched the AL East title....for the 9th straight year!!! GO YANKEES!!! Also, hockey pre-season is underway.... GO RANGERS!!!!!
I am going to look at another investment property on Tuesday. It is a 4 unit apartment building. The one I have been negotiating on and made an offer for has a pending zoning hearing so I am not waiting for that to be resolved. I will continue looking in the meantime.
I have my 10 year reunion at West Point 2 weeks from tomorrow. I am extremely nervous about it. I am fired up that I will be able to see all my best friends again and hang out drinking and telling a bunch of bullshit stories. I am just nervous about going back to WP because I still feel like I am under that microscope that I lived under for four years. Anyway, we'll see how it all pans out.
Well I guess that's about it for today and hey ladies.......pull my finger, I DARE you!
posted by P-Nut @ 12:31 PM
5 Comments:
For the record:
Pregnant women do fart! Normally I don't have much gas but right now is a different story. It is not quite a "sport" for women like it is for men. Anyway, keep enjoying your flatulence and leave your wife alone!
If it was a sport I would have a gold medal right now. *BBBRRRUUUMMMPPP"
I don't know Big Country and the dog would be some fierce competition!!
True...I dunno about the dog but Big Country and I have competed informally before. He's worthy of a gold medal. Farts rock!
I fart and I'm proud of it. I fart way more than my boyfriend and they smell worse too. Sometimes it's even a problem for me. Oh and don't let anybody tell you they don't fart. EVERYBODY farts at least 55 times a day weather they know it or not. Google gas, you'll see.
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