Toe the line

Okay I have to get another thing off my chest. Last week I ranted about flippers....the flip flop nation of knuckleheaded men. Well, I guess this is sort of related only not (huh?). It absolutely drives me nuts when people's "middle" toe is longer than their big toe. Ever since I can remember this has bothered me. Then while watching the movie "Shallow Hal" one day not that long ago they discussed it in the movie. I was like, "Holy Shit!!! I am not the only person this bothers!!!" I can tolerate even length or even just a hair over.....but when I see someone (man or woman) with that middle toe just WAY out there like one-and-a-half toe lengths beyond the big toe that KILLS me! Now I realize it is not any fault of the person and that nobody could possibly help this. I got it. I understand that. Does it help me cope? Nope! So imagine my shock when I see a flipper with the frog toe. I call it frog toe because if you ever look at a frog's foot it has a humongous middle toe. The worst are the redneck frog-toe-flippers. These guys have the added dimension of feet cheese sprinkled on top of the whole production. It's like a wild phallangical circus! I mean for Christ's sake in the name of human decency....put some shoes on!!! I know I shouldn't let such things bother me. But goddamn it I gotta have SOMETHING to bitch about!!!