Vinny's Pizzeria, Used Tires and Abortion Clinic

Injustice

2007-04-13T11:57:00.000-04:00

First off....the North Carolina trip was great. Big shoutout to the redhead and Big Country (and of course their little stinky) for having us down there.

Secondly, let's get this out in the open. What's the deal with Don Imus? Let me state that I don't like the guy.....AT ALL!!! He's a flaming liberal who refuses to see any reason in things. That being said, what's with all the BS with his getting fired and ridiculed for what he said?!?!? He referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as nappy-headed ho's. Big fucking deal!!!! Is that anything different from what's said on any show on BET? Or titleing movies "White Men Can't Jump"??? Or Al Sharpton referring to the Duke lacrosse players--INNOCENT PEOPLE-- as "privedged white boys"? What the fuck is with this racial double standard? Where's all the outrage when a black person says something racist????!!! Al Sharpton is probably the biggest racist out there....yet these fucking idiots trip over themselves to say what a great man he is and a leader and a pillar of the community. How come he hasn't had to answer for his racist remarks? Or the fact that he spent his presidential campaign contributions on whores and cars?!?!? Leader my white ass! The guy's a fucking stupid piece of shit....and I mean stupid. Just like Jesse Jackson....another pillar of the community. If these are the leaders that blacks are forced to emulate it's no fucking wonder they can't collectively improve their stations in life. Many blacks are intelligent and successful people....the ones who think for themselves instead of listening to fucking morons like these. Why does Louis Farrakhan get a free pass everytime he rages against the "dirty, scheming, evil Jews and white men"?

It really turns my stomach seeing all this "outrage" against Don Imus. It's really a double standard bunch of bullshit is what it is. Nappy headed ho's. Give me a break....I have heard worse than that on Moesha!!! I can see Imus apologizing for calling them ho's....but how is nappy headed construed as racist? I wake up every morning with a nappy bed head!!!!

Anyway....that's my input for the day. I just call it like I see it. Well...we're getting ready to get hit with a snowstorm again this weekend.....nice....nothing like a spring blizzard!!! Hey where's the global warming? This is close to the coldest April on record!!!

I leave Sunday night to drive down to Virginia and will be there all of next week so don't look forward to hearing from me anytime soon. I know you won't. TOODLES!

Europe.....

2007-04-02T11:46:00.001-04:00

A waste of a continent. Why? Now European stupidity has reached an all-time high. In the UK they're dropping the teaching of the holocaust from their curriculum because they don't want to offend the muslim pices of shit that are overrunning their schools and country. This is sure to spread throughout the rest of Europe as they're all mindless fucking capitulators who speak different languages. These dirty, smelly fucking muslim scumbags are taking over every country over there and the Eurotrash just sit back and let it happen. So, when they have their riots in the streets and calls to prayer blasted over the town PA system and the locals start getting all irate I would tell them to "go fuck yourself". That's okay though.....someone will find a way to blame America for all of this so it doesn't matter.

Well 2 more days and we leave for NC. We are excited about it! Should be lots of fun....once the drive is over with anyway!

How was everyone's weekend? Mine was okay....not very productive but had some fun anyway. I have to start getting my ass in gear and getting some things done around my house. Guess it will just have to wait until after the 20th of April since I will be gone most of the time until then. Oh well.

That's all I have to say for now. Nothing new going on. I will try and pop in once or twice more before I head south. Be talking to you...TOODLES!

My Underwear Have Poop Stains!!

2007-03-29T07:29:00.000-04:00

.....Don't yours?!?!?!

So last night my wife had to go with her band to a radio station up in Scranton. They played some songs which are going to be aired on the radio in a "live studio session" sometime in May. They're also going to televise it on the local TV station which is cool. Well the shitty thing is she didn't get home until 3 am this morning because the studio didn't get things started until 11pm and they had to do a couple of their songs a few times to get it just right and so on. So I woke up when she came home and now I am tired too...but at least I slept from 9pm until 3am and then from 4:30 to 6am and she barely got any sleep at all.

My drums came yesterday!!!!!!!! WooHoooo!!!!!!!!!!! Man I ripped them fucking boxes open and put that thing together. I almost had a boner I was so happy. Anyway I have everything in my car right now because I am bringing them to my band's practice room after work to keep them there and we have practice tonight. So that should be fun!

Only 6 days and we leave for NC. I can't wait...that's gonna be a lot of fun. Hey red is there anything you need us to bring other than my sexy, supple, milky-white ass? Let me know. Anyway everyone at work is in a big panic because I will be away on leave in NC and then from 15-20 April I will be away on business in Alexandria, VA. They're flipping out because the programs I run are very high visibility type stuff and I always deal with people in the program offices and pentagon, etc. All these bigwigs. Well now in my absence the people here are going to have to do that for me. Not a big deal considering I laid everything out for them with spreadsheets, slides, charts, etc. All they have to do is read what I wrote but whatever.....I think they're just upset that they're going to have to do something now. Lazy bastards!!!

Jeez, 2 days ago it got up to 73 degrees up here in the poconos....this morning I went out to my car and it was 25!!! WTF?!?!?! Well it's been up in at least the 50s every day so I cannot complain too much I guess. Dude I think I got the sauce this morning. Too much coffee. I am gonna have to go and drop some root soon.

Oh and for the 1.5 hours I went back to bed this morning I had the most fucked up dreams I have had in a loooooong time. It was kind of re-living some stuff I've been through and experienced....like I was in Germany and I deployed to Bosnia and seen some wacky and horrible shit. But then some of it was totally weird and things that never happened like while in Bosnia I got bit by a cow and my foot got ran over by a horse-drawn cart. Don't know what it is supposed to mean....probably nothing. I don't get all wrapped up like some of these wackos that dreams HAVE to mean something. No they don't. I sit around awake thinking of stupid, goofy, off the wall shit nobody else would ever think of for no good reason.....so I guess if I do it when I am awake then I can certainly do it when I am asleep right? Anyway I just thought I would mention it because it caught me off guard. I haven't had "Army Dreams" in quite some time. Usually when I do they're bad and not very happy but I don't mind it or anything.....it was something I did and went through so no big deal. I liked the army it was just kind of unfortunate that some of the circumstances in my life back then were affected negatively by bad timing and things like that. But enough of all that jazz....I am a civilian now. I am in very little danger of being shot at if I go somewhere (though I am still armed), I am stable and don't have to move every 2 or 3 years and I make about 5 times more money now than I did as an Army Captian with about 1/1000th of the responsibility. God bless those men and women in uniform doing what they do....they certainly aren't in it for the money.

Clap this!

2007-03-28T11:42:00.000-04:00

I have a question.....I thought of this for no particular reason....it just kind of popped into my head but does anyone remember ever flying on an airplane or going to a movie in the theater and when you land in the plane or the movie is over everyone claps?!?! What in the fuck of a goat ass is that all about?!?! Who are you clapping to? I've never been in the cockpit of an airplane when it landed but I have a sneaking suspicion that when the pilots land and hear people clapping they're not saying, "Wow...how rewarding when we complete a trip and touch down safely to hear the enamored passengers cheer wildly. They must really love us."

I would bet money that the conversation goes more like, "Whew....for fuck's sake that was a tricky one with the cross winds...those stupid fuckers have no idea what they're clapping about....what a bunch of fucking zeros. Now let's get out of this germ-farm and go to the bar."

In the movies I think it's more of a sociological abortion gone wrong in that people identify and side with the hero or good guy of the film. Then when he kills the bad guy or whatever....everyone goes mad like they personally had something to do with it. Like if you didn't show up to the movie and sit on your dead-ass for 2 hours there may have been a different ending but by showing up you actually helped save the day!!! Or at the end of the movie people clap I guess to acknowledge that it was a good movie. Nobody hears you except for the other assholes clapping! Or after a one-liner people go nuts at the cleverness of the line or what have you. I remember as a little kid that when I saw Rocky in the movies....when I left that theater I could kick anybody's ass. When I saw Star Wars, Empire and Jedi in the movies I had "The Force" upon leaving the theater and tried for many hours to levitate cars in the parking lot and other random objects and use the Jedi mind trick on people....to no avail. Yeah I got all caught up in the hoopla but then again I was 3,4,5,6,7,8 years old!

I have not been to the movies since "Shallow Hal". Nobody clapped or cheered during that because Hal ended up with the hog! Plus the sight of George Costanza having a "nub" tail-like appendage was enough to get everyone nauseus! I refuse to go to the fucking movies anymore. People are fucking idiotic assholes with no common sense and no courtesy. Looking like fucking retards with their big baggy pants, cell phones ringing, talking out loud, etc. Do I think I am better than most people? Bet your fucking ass I do.

When I fly...I like to wait until mid-flight when everyone else is sleeping and then just start clapping and cheering loudly for no good reason. When someone asks what I am doing I say, "Well, I like to sleep through the landing so I am just getting my cheering out now so I can go to sleep." Do I think I am better than most people? Fucking A I do. Do I acknowledge that I am a huge asshole.......yep.

Yeah Okay

2007-03-27T11:36:00.000-04:00

So it's been a week since I blogged....kiss my ass if you don't like it. Kiss my lilly white bunghole!!!

So what's new? Hmmmm....the liberal Congress killed a bunch more men and women by passing their feeble bill to establish a deadline to leave Iraq. Hmmmm I am not too sure but I haven't heard too awful much about the fact that they couldn't garner enough support to pass the bill without lacing it with $20 billion in taxpayer money for other liberals' pet projects like rebuilding rubber plants and aid to spinach farmers. All of a sudden at our expense (yours and mine) they had enough support for the bill. Though be it $20 billion more expense. Thank GOD for the power of the veto. The troops must be really thrilled to read and hear about all these liberal pieces of shit in Congress and how they support the troops while they want to give our enemies a firm date to declare victory on the great Satan.....America! I would personally love to see every one of these self-serving, coward pices of shit be shot in the back of the head and left on a roadside somewhere. Too extreme? I don't think so. You don't like it? Then don't read my blog.

I am getting really excited about our trip to NC....9 days until we leave. I am not sure Sanford, NC knows what they're in for.

Things are going well at work. Staying busy I guess. I also ordered an acoutic drum set and cymbals, etc since I am now in a band again. Now I will have my electric set at home to practice on and my acoustic set in our band's practice room for practicing and playing live on. Feels nice to be in a band again....I missed it a lot. The other cool thing is that we play all original songs. Not that I mind cover bands too much....they have their place and I have been in a couple, but I am a big fan of the whole process behind writing music. So now the wife and I are both in bands and having fun with it. Funny thing is I don't like her band's music and she don't like my band's music hahaha.

Golf season is approaching quickly. I went and bought about 6 dozen golf balls over the weekend. Hmmmm that'll probably last me about 36 holes the way I lose balls. I cannot fucking wait until that first tee shot, the smell of the fresh cut grass, the birds chirping, me throwing my clubs across the fairway when I hit a shitty shot (yes I really do this), cursing everyone and their mother when I miss a short putt. But hey, I love it!

Boating season is also rapidly approaching. My dock is all paid for, my new battery has been installed and I am waiting on the lake to open for the season. Can't wait for that either.

Dude I have way too many fucking hobbies. Golf, boating, mountain biking, music, hiking, pulling on it, bathing in raw seafood.....I mean who the fuck has time for it all???

Samantha is doing great these days. She's talking like a maniac and saying all kinds of funny stuff. She has me laughing my ass off all day long which is no easy task. She also LOVES music and likes to sing. I play guitar for her all the time while my wife sings to her and she sits there with a big smile on her face the whole time. She's the best audience I could ever play for.

Well that's about it....it's 65 degrees and sunny outside right now so I am gonna go walk around outside like a nomad during lunch and see what I can get into. TOODLES!!!

Nice Beaver

2007-03-20T10:31:00.000-04:00

Hey baby nice beaver!! Yeah you!

Holy ass balls! Well we got hit with about 16 inches of snow on Friday and Saturday. Let me tell you, that was a lot of fun. Good times, good times. Well it's starting to melt now and it's supposed to be in the 50s to 60s all week and this weekend. Do I think any of you give a fuck? Nope. Just idle chatter.

Now on to a more controversial issue....the piercing of ones genitalia. Nah just kidding. Although I have no idea why someone would do that. I also don't know why anyone would get a tattoo but many people have them so there must be something appealing about it.

I am going after work tonight to meet some guys in a band and play drums with them for a while and see how it goes. There's also another band I am supposed to meet later in the week or on the weekend. I am tired of not playing in a band anymore. Although right now I only have an electronic drum set at home to practice on I have an acoustic kit, cymbals, etc ready to order at the click of a button should I find a band to play for. I have no idea how I am going to my golfing, boating, music and general shenanigans into my schedule by I am flexible--like a 12 year old gymnast! On top of that (not the 12 year old gymnast) my wife has practice with her band 2-3 times a week. But one of us is always there with Stinky and she comes before everything else obviously so at least our priorities are straight.

Work is going well. I have been very busy lately and will continue to be really busy for a while. We're also looking forward to our trip to NC in 2 weeks. That will be a lot of fun.

Well that's about all that is going on. When something happens or an issue pops up I will write more. Until then....don't get any on you.

Excuse me ma'am....but I speak jive

2007-03-15T10:14:00.000-04:00

Yo jive turkey...what it is? You know I have been told several times--in writing and verbally--over the last few days that "Vinny....you're not right" or "Vinny...you're such a fucking weirdo" or "Vinny...you're a freak". Well why is that? Why do people have such a skewed perception of who I am? I am a very sensitive person. Often I am accused of tomfoolery, skullduggery and removing random articles of clothing in public places without a moment's notice and putting others in embarrasing situations. Yes, it is a flaw in my personality that I just do not get embarrassed and sometimes maybe I should consider that although I do not, others do and I should be more considerate of their feelings too. After all I have purposely gone out of my way many times to walk in front of an unsuspecting victim in the store or mall or various other places and stop and do a big fart right in front of them. Many times I do this when friends and/or family are around. I always get a priceless reaction from said victims which, to me, makes it all worth it. But there I go again, not considering the feelings of others.

So you may be asking "okay Vinny, got it but why do I give a fuck?" Good question! Well in light of all of this I am going to try and make more of an effort to be considerate of those around me and act more grown up. Truth be told, I don't think I will be very successful at this because being an ass-wipe is totally my nature and the temptation to just blow someone's mind is always too much for me. I feel bad though sometimes like an incident not that long ago....my wife and I were in a McDonalds and made our order.......well the people that ordered their shit after me started getting their stuff and I was still waiting.....and waiting....and waiting. Well I finally got pissed off and flew off the handle. I screamed really loud "Manager!!!! Where's the manager?!?!?!" So she finally came up front and I said "Hey....where the fuck is my quarter pounder with cheese? I didn't order a goddamn souffle....I ordered a quarter pounder!!!!" So instead of being apologetic or anything the bitch cops an attitude with me. Bad move because I just had to embarrass her then. I gave her the "You couldn't manage your way out of a wet paper bag you stupid fuck......why the hell do you think you're at McDonalds?!?!?!" After she broke down crying and I got my food we left. Of course afterwards I felt TERRIBLE! Not for the minion working in McDonalds but for my wife. She was really embarrassed by my McD's rage. She got over it very quickly becuase she's accustomed to my antics but I still felt bad and everytime I think about that story I feel bad for putting her in that position.

So there you have it....Vinny is turning over a new leaf. Probably won't last more than 20 minutes but I am gonna give it a shot....I will let you know how it goes. TOODLES!

As a child.....

2007-03-13T11:00:00.000-04:00

You know back a looooong time ago when I was but a young lad growing up in the rough and tumble streets of rural New York I learned a lot of things about life, about myself, about love and about squeezing watermelon seeds between my toes. So go life's lessons. They teach us modesty, humility, virginity and how to thumb wrestle with your own flaccid penis. Is it any coincidence that "manipulate my nipples" rhymes with "capitulate my ripples"??? Many times when I would look at the school's lunch menu I would feel empty inside and an overwhelming urge to pick up the taco meat with my own bare hands and massage it into my supple, milky-white buttocks....only my pants were in the way. Often times I would sit alone in a dark corner of my room and re-play "Turning Japanese" over and over again on my 45rpm record player. I would pull my eyes back on their corners and pretend I was Japanese or a Malaysian samurai. Instead of a sword I would wildly swing my member's only jacket through the air. I would strip down to the nude and mix ketchup with stool and paint my body in the tribal war paint of my ancestors and do a little dance. I would chant things like, "muffins should be buttered" and "what's areola mean?" Friends would often accuse me of plagiarism and tomfoolery but that's okay. I knew they were jealous.

Yes, life teaches us many lessons. What lessons do you remember from your childhood?

Liberal Hypocrisy...again...and again....and again

2007-03-09T10:34:00.000-05:00

Of Hate-Speech and Hypocrisy
By Patrick Goodenough
CNSNews.com
Managing EditorMarch 09, 2007(Contains language that may be offensive to some readers.)

(CNSNews.com) - The left-wing Daily Kos blog has been driving a campaign to have companies pull ads from Ann Coulter's website after the conservative author used a slur in a recent speech, but leftist websites -- including Daily Kos -- have themselves used the offending word in the past.

Daily Kos postings have included the word "faggot" at least three times in recent years, as have other liberal blogs -- without apology, and without generating a furor.

During a characteristically caustic speech at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) last Friday, Coulter said, "I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I ... can't really talk about Edwards."

The outcry was not long in coming, with the Human Rights Campaign, which advocates for homosexual rights, issuing a statement calling her use of the term "vile and disgusting" and the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) saying it was "vile and unacceptable."

It was soon reported that at least three companies had pulled advertising from Coulter's site, following postings on Daily Kos in which target companies were identified and their contact information provided."

Ann Coulter's latest bigoted and hateful diatribe has justifiably evoked rage and disgust throughout the progressive community," a Daily Kos blogger going by the name of "VolvoDrivingLiberal" wrote two days after the speech."

One of the best ways to communicate one's distaste for Coulter's repeated incidents of hate speech is to respectfully but firmly let her advertisers know you are deeply troubled by their indirect support of bigotry through their advertising on Coulter's website," the blogger wrote. "A list of Coulter's advertisers with contact information is detailed below."

(Posting again on Daily Kos on Thursday, "VolvoDrivingLiberal" boasted that "the progressive community achieved significant success this week in persuading corporate and organizational advertisers to pull ads on anncoulter.com." The blogger urged readers to turn their attention to one last major target advertising on Coulter's site, Amazon.com.)

Taking flak from liberals, and from many fellow conservatives, Coulter argued that she had been aiming at political correctness, not slurring homosexuals. (Last January, Grey's Anatomy actor Isaiah Washington used the derogatory word at the Golden Globe awards. Amid an ensuing fuss, he released a statement saying he was seeking counseling.)"

It's a schoolyard taunt," an unapologetic Coulter told broadcaster Sean Hannity on Tuesday. "It means ... wussy."However the term may be interpreted, Coulter is not alone in using it.

Daily Kos itself has not shied away from the word. Nor has it removed postings that use it. Examples include:
a headline reading: "Democrats and the faggot problem."
a headline asking: "Who invited the little faggot?"
a headline reading: "When is a faggot just a bundle of sticks?" (That posting goes on to ask, "What's up with the little sly gay jokes? Hmm? As I read the comments in discussions on DKos, there are times when I almost have to check and see if I accidentally stumbled into a Wingnut [right-wing] blog.")

Other left-wing websites have also seen usage of what's being called the new f-word:
Pam Spaulding of the blog Pam's House Blend wrote a headline including the phrase "caving to the faggot juggernaut" -- in reference to a comment by Fred Phelps, the controversial leader of a small religious group that uses the epithet frequently in its campaigning.

Indymedia, a left-wing activist site, carried an Oct. 2006 rant under the headline, "Bush is a closet faggot."

A posting on the Firedoglake blog that pokes fun at Christian leaders found to have been involved in homosexual relationships: "I have been spending my time since the election attempting to hone my knowledge of the Radical Gay Agenda in hopes of infiltrating the Christianist chuch [sic] and bringing it down from within. But it looks like the sad, sick, repressed faggots that run the place are saving me the trouble."

Blogger Melissa McEwan, on her site Shakespeare's Sister, used the line -- in reference to Leonardo da Vinci -- "I'm not so sure it's such a good idea for students to be studying that faggot anyway."

Another contributor to the Shakespeare's Sister site, "Paul the Spud," wrote in a Dec. 2006 posting, "We can't make it work, so why should you be allowed to, faggot? Quit getting so uppity!" (He was putting words into the mouth of an advocate against same-sex marriage.)Ironically, McEwan of Shakespeare's Sister is one of two bloggers who worked briefly for the Edwards 2008 campaign but resigned last month amid criticism of provocative postings about Christianity on their sites.

The other erstwhile Edwards blogger, Amanda Marcotte, carried a posting ( warning: vile content ) by another blogger -- Spaulding, again -- on her Pandagon site, using the word "faggoty" in reference to Jesus.Bloggers aren't the only liberals to use the slur.In 2003, Howard Dean's campaign manager was reported to have written a letter to the presidential campaign of fellow Democrat and rival Dick Gephardt, complaining that a member of the Gephardt team had called a Dean staffer a "faggot."

Homosexual-rights groups employ a double standard too, it appears.

In its response to Coulter's remarks last Friday, GLAAD not only slammed the author but accused CPAC itself of promoting "discriminatory policies," and GLAAD president Neil Giuliano called on media organizations -- NBC News in particular -- to stop offering Coulter a platform.

Three years ago, however, GLAAD took a rather different approach when rapper 50 Cent told Playboy magazine, "I ain't into faggots ... We refer to gay people as faggots, as homos. It could be disrespectful, but that's the facts."In that instance, GLAAD responded with a polite -- almost respectful -- press release expressing "concern" about the comments, and inviting 50 Cent to attend GLAAD's annual media awards.

And no, there was no suggestion that anyone stop giving the platinum-selling New York "gangsta" a platform.

Holy Snow Balls Batman!!!

2007-03-09T09:09:00.000-05:00

So I just read that February was colder than average. It was the 34th coldest month in the last 113 years or something like that. Where's all the fucking hype and hoopla? Where's all the environmental alarmist fucking RETARDS?!?! Idiots. Somebody just answer me, what was the cause of the earth's warming after the last ice age? Was it SUVs? Was it coal-burning power plants? Hmmmmm....strange. Must have been those goddamn wooly-mammoths and all their farting right?

Hey it's Friday!!! We're going out to watch some band play tonight. Should be pretty fun.

My buddy Dan is leaving to go and work in China for a year. So hey Dan we talked about the stuff they like to eat in China: hippo ass, giraffe hooves and chicken feet. Well a while back I posted another Chink delicacy.......see the photos below!!

Now THOSE are some tasty treats. Anyway Dan we'll miss you and hope you have fun in China hanging out with all those dirty slanty-eyed communist fuckers.

LATER!

Midgets have small butt cracks

2007-03-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

That's a fact! Hey I have a question....do any of you have people coming around where you work selling candy bars for their kids and all sorts of other bullshit? How come nobody abides by the "no solicitation" rules? Not only do the peddle this shit but it costs a fortune. $2.00 for a fucking chocolate bar?!?!?! One woman I work with asked me if I wanted to buy candy for her grand daughter. I was like, "How much". She tells me $2.00!!! I told her I could go to the machine in the hallway and get 4 of them for that price and no I wasn't buying anything. I don't even like chocolate!

Speaking of candy and sweets.....how come the boy scouts don't sell cookies? Do the girl scouts have some kind of scout copyright on the practice of selling cookies? The boy scouts are losing out on a shit load of revenue by not selling cookies.

Well it's Thursday....my favorite show--the Office--is on tonight. Can't wait....I hope it is not a repeat. While we're on TV I am really glad I decided to stop watching American Idol. I heard the contestants sucked this year compared to past years. So Tuesday night I was channel surfing and watched about 10 minutes of it and boy were they right....it sucked donkey ass.

In God We Trust was "accidentally" left off some newly minted coins. Do you really think this was an accident?

Libs are in an uproar because Ann Coulter referred to John Edwards as a "faggot" in an interview. You know....I am not saying that is good or anything because anyone with some common sense should know that by doing so they're going to be attacked and ridiculed for it....especially a public personality. However, where is the outrage that democratic Sen Byrd from W VA was an acknowledged member of the Ku Klux Klan? Where's the fucking outrage?

I am going to be in Alexandria, VA from 15 through 20 April for work. NICE! Should be an awesome week. Anyone want to meet me there and hang out for the week?!?!?! BRING IT ON!!!!

Anyway that's it for now. I have to go poop. Talk to you later. TOODLES!

I have a great ass

2007-03-06T09:46:00.000-05:00

Well at least I think so!

I am sitting here at work freezing my nuts off! It's about 20 below outside with the windchill and not much damn warmer inside. I have been on a lot of military and government installations all over the world and let me tell you....as big and mighty as our government is....they still can't figure out the fucking heating systems anywhere! Man I got some serious shrinkage going on.

Getting excited about our family trip down to NC in April. Should be lots of fun a) seeing our friends b) playing golf and doing some other cool stuff c) getting the fuck out of PA for a little while!!!! Hey Red do I need to bring any costumes or should I leave them at home????

Hey I was reading an article that was saying women will now win the same prize money at Wimbledon as the men do. I think that's a crock of shit to be honest with you. Why? Men play best of 5 set matches and women play best of 3. This means that over the course of a 2 week tournament such as Wimbledon a male tennis player can play as many as 21 or more sets of tennis than a woman....not counting tie breakers, etc. These sets can last in excess of an hour. So you're looking at potentially a whole day more of tennis that the male player plays. First of all....the women's champion was only getting about $200,000 less than the men's champion. $1.4 million vs $1.2 million. So the women were not really getting robbed. I have played tennis and it's very demanding physically. 3 sets is a FAR CRY from 5 sets. I think the discrepancy in pay was indicative of the amount of exertion and exhaustion the different genders endure. Now I am sure you women will fly off the handle at my opion here but that's fine. I am a big, grown, hairless, shaved, ample and milky-white boy....I can take it!!!

Well that's it for now....I got a real bad case of the swamp ass right now and may have to sprint to the bathroom any minute. Anywhere near me is not a good place for anyone to be today. I must have done about 78 nasty farts already this morning. UGH. Well I will write more later on or tomorrow. TOODLES.

Manipulate my nipples!!!

2007-03-05T09:14:00.000-05:00

So hey hope everyone had a great weekend. Funny....I started reading the news this morning on various web sites and now I see this big thing about how all these climatologists and meteorologists are coming out of the woodwork about what a fucking sham global warming is. What happened to Al Gore's "unanimous consensus" that ALL scientists agree that global warming is real and is a problem. Just more evidence of what fucking retards these people are.

I had this big incident over the weekend. You know those pillsbury biscuits you buy in the metal and cardboard cans? You know....you have to peel the label back and then it pops open and you remove the dough and bake it? Well I am fucking PETRIFIED of those things. I mean I HATE them....I never want to open them. If we're gonna have biscuits for dinner I will make my wife open the can. I had an incident a while back which is why I am afraid. Well, over the weekend I had the hankering for some biscuits and I was the only one home. That's right.....Vinny was home alone! Well there I was faced with a quandry of what the fuck am I supposed to do now? So I downed a couple rum & cokes to dull the fear. I got the biscuit dough out and started to SLOWLY unpeel the fucker. Well when I got to a certain point where it should have opened I stopped. My heart was frigging RACING! I didn't know what to do....I was stuck and afraid to go any further. So I climbed up the stairs to my loft which overlooks the living room. I carefully lined up the can so that if I dropped it straight down it would hit the corner of the coffee table downstairs and pop open while I was still far away from it. So I lined it up, dropped it and fucking BOOM! You'd a thought a fucking bomb went off. The dough just fucking took off in this colossal explosion of goo. The living room windows, the carpet, the TV, the dog, EVERYTHING had dough on it. Well, I didn't end up having any biscuits and I had a whole lot of cleaning to do. Moral of the story? Don't get the urge for biscuits unless my wife is home!

There will never be.....

2007-03-02T11:23:00.000-05:00

another March 2, 2007 again...ever! Fascinating isn't it?

I don't have too much to say today really. I was out sick yesterday and am a little behind on the news and other items.

Man, I really felt like butt yesterday. I still don't feel very good but yesterday I was super BAD. With all the Ny-Quil and Day-Quil and stuff I am really very loopy. Moreso than usual even!

Anyway, just wanted to pop in and wish everyone a good weekend. I'll talk to you some more next week. TOODLES.

Al Gore is a Cock Head

2007-02-28T13:21:00.000-05:00

If any of you have read the stories about him this week about what a hypocritical asshole he is then you know what I am talking about. If you haven't read them then you're sheltered and need to get off your ass and get up to speed on your current events!

I am not liking this google bullshit that I have to go through to get to my blog now. I have written several letters to the site and told them that they're a bunch of dicks and they need to change it back. I know that will not happen but venting makes me feel better. My friend Liza and I are in the market for a new independent blog not affiliated with those slanty-eyed bastards over at google. Anybody know of any good sites? Let us know, we'll be up in dat shit like a Jimmy Hat!

Why in the fuck am I sitting here at work right now listening to "We Built This City on Rock N Roll" over the PA system? This was named like worst fucking song of the 80s or some shit like that. They should be banned from playing it. Who sang that song anyway? Sunship? Starship? Spaceship? Some stupid shit like that?!?! They need to be jamming som ABBA, Bee Gees, Tom Jones and Englebert Humperdinck......the good shit!

Hey look......a cow ass!!!!

Oh and let me re-post one of Liza's old favorites:

Oh boy....good times, good times.

Oh yeah and there's been another sighting of Nessie.....you know, the Loch Ness Monster

Oh well....anyway I apologize for not having much of substance to say today but what's new right?

Darn Tootin'!!!

2007-02-22T10:19:00.000-05:00

So I see we have the ongoing school/children issue ongoing in my last post. Good to see! Just makes me fucking sick that we've become such a coddling and sensitive (overly) society.

So Ban Ki-moon, U.N secretary general URGED Iran to stop enriching Uranium. That'll stop 'em!!!! Way to go U.N. leading the way again! Am I the only one who realizes what a waste of fucking time and money this impotent organization is?!?!?!?! Personally I am keeping my fingers crossed that Israel, about the only coutry left with any balls, will go in and level Iran.....LEVEL it with no discretion.

So Britney Spears shaved her head because of head lice eh? Wow...big goings on in the entertainment world! As long as she don't have crabs I'd still do her!!!! I am eloquent aren't I?!?!

I got this big growth on my choda...you know on my grundle. The area between my balls and cornhole! It's huge and when I squeeze it all this bloody pus comes out! Do you think that might be a problem?

Well only 27 days until the vernal equinox. NICE! I can't wait until April man. Get my boat back in the water and my golf league starts! DAMN I can't wait!!!!

That David Hasselhoff is such a man's man!!!!

Anyway, I am done chiming in for the day. Hope everyone has a happy Thursday!!!

Happy Tuesday

2007-02-20T12:27:00.000-05:00

Hey so what's with all the shock and awe about the murders and violence in New Orleans? Was that ever really a garden spot? Seems I remember many a year that it won the dubious title of most murders per capita in the U.S. Now all the uproar just because the hurricane hit there? Take a fucking walk!

Britney Spears shaved her head. Did you know that? Of course you did because that's important news. Much more important than Korea agreeing to end their nuclear program or the war on terror or the stock market at all time highs. It's not Britney's fault. It's the idiots that think it is big news. Poor Britney is just another victim of society and it's every else's fault but hers. Sound familiar? Fuck Britney.

Sorry I haven't been blogging too much...they have this stupid fucking thing now where I have to log on through Google and it takes forever and I just haven't felt like dealing with it. So in other words.....plan on fewer posts from yours truly.

Mmmmm the cafeteria is serving roasted pig ass sandwiches today. At least that's what they look like. Man you should see the cafeteria workers....they look like the lunch ladies from your elementary school days....like Ogres on crack or something. They ought to be living under a bridge somewhere.

I stayed home form work last Wednesday because of the big snowstorm we had. It sucked. 5" of snow then 4" of ice and then 4-5" more snow on top. They had all sorts of highways closed in northeast PA. The 3 main highways (78, 80 and 81) were all closed in this area because the road crews were so fucking good at their jobs they just waited until the storm was almost over before they started doing anything. Well, what should I expect from a fucking liberal governor. The guys sucks a giant cock.

Global warming alarmists get fucking more idiotic by the day. At least I am starting to see some dissent among the ranks of "scientists" now questioning the data. What? Ice caps are thickening and growing in the southern hemisphere? Astounding!!! But who am I to argue? Al Gore invented the internet so he MUST be right about global warming. And all the Hollywood fucking idiots that drive banana and shit-fueled cars to the airport to fly around the world on a 747 with 10 people aboard obviously know what they're talking about too. After all, they're all educated and live in the real world. Oh well nobody will ever listen to the skinny Italian kid who is full 'o flava.

Schools continue to decline. No! Do ya think? You walked through town on the weekend or after school hours and seen these fucking mutts walking around? Pants falling down off their ass, stupid fucking hat on sideways. Man I'll tell you what if I was ever walking around and saw my kid dressed like that it would be the last time. Did you ever talk to one of these fucking skells? They mumble at you like they got a mouthful of cock and balls! I know they do it because they're trying to be unique and original. The only thing is, when every other fucking moron looks like you you're neither unique nor original. You're worthless. I personally believe EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL in the U.S. should have uniforms.

Well I am done ranting for today. Hope you enjoyed my commentary. If you didn't? Hey no sweat off my supple, milky-white ass. Take it or leave it.

No Wait!!!

2007-02-13T11:37:00.000-05:00

I am the REAL father of Anna Nicole Smith's child!!!!

In a nutshell....

2007-02-06T08:03:00.000-05:00

This article pretty much says it all:

Global Warming: The Cold, Hard Facts?

By Timothy Ball

Monday, February 5, 2007

Global Warming, as we think we know it, doesn't exist. And I am not the only one trying to make people open up their eyes and see the truth. But few listen, despite the fact that I was the first Canadian Ph.D. in Climatology and I have an extensive background in climatology, especially the reconstruction of past climates and the impact of climate change on human history and the human condition. Few listen, even though I have a Ph.D, (Doctor of Science) from the University of London, England and was a climatology professor at the University of Winnipeg. For some reason (actually for many), the World is not listening. Here is why.

What would happen if tomorrow we were told that, after all, the Earth is flat? It would probably be the most important piece of news in the media and would generate a lot of debate. So why is it that when scientists who have studied the Global Warming phenomenon for years say that humans are not the cause nobody listens? Why does no one acknowledge that the Emperor has no clothes on?

Believe it or not, Global Warming is not due to human contribution of Carbon Dioxide (CO2). This in fact is the greatest deception in the history of science. We are wasting time, energy and trillions of dollars while creating unnecessary fear and consternation over an issue with no scientific justification. For example, Environment Canada brags about spending $3.7 billion in the last five years dealing with climate change almost all on propaganda trying to defend an indefensible scientific position while at the same time closing weather stations and failing to meet legislated pollution targets.

No sensible person seeks conflict, especially with governments, but if we don't pursue the truth, we are lost as individuals and as a society. That is why I insist on saying that there is no evidence that we are, or could ever cause global climate change. And, recently, Yuri A. Izrael, Vice President of the United Nations sponsored Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) confirmed this statement. So how has the world come to believe that something is wrong?

Maybe for the same reason we believed, 30 years ago, that global cooling was the biggest threat: a matter of faith. "It is a cold fact: the Global Cooling presents humankind with the most important social, political, and adaptive challenge we have had to deal with for ten thousand years. Your stake in the decisions we make concerning it is of ultimate importance; the survival of ourselves, our children, our species," wrote Lowell Ponte in 1976.

I was as opposed to the threats of impending doom global cooling engendered as I am to the threats made about Global Warming. Let me stress I am not denying the phenomenon has occurred. The world has warmed since 1680, the nadir of a cool period called the Little Ice Age (LIA) that has generally continued to the present. These climate changes are well within natural variability and explained quite easily by changes in the sun. But there is nothing unusual going on.

Since I obtained my doctorate in climatology from the University of London, Queen Mary College, England my career has spanned two climate cycles. Temperatures declined from 1940 to 1980 and in the early 1970's global cooling became the consensus. This proves that consensus is not a scientific fact. By the 1990's temperatures appeared to have reversed and Global Warming became the consensus. It appears I'll witness another cycle before retiring, as the major mechanisms and the global temperature trends now indicate a cooling.

No doubt passive acceptance yields less stress, fewer personal attacks and makes career progress easier. What I have experienced in my personal life during the last years makes me understand why most people choose not to speak out; job security and fear of reprisals. Even in University, where free speech and challenge to prevailing wisdoms are supposedly encouraged, academics remain silent.

I once received a three page letter that my lawyer defined as libellous, from an academic colleague, saying I had no right to say what I was saying, especially in public lectures. Sadly, my experience is that universities are the most dogmatic and oppressive places in our society. This becomes progressively worse as they receive more and more funding from governments that demand a particular viewpoint.

In another instance, I was accused by Canadian environmentalist David Suzuki of being paid by oil companies. That is a lie. Apparently he thinks if the fossil fuel companies pay you have an agenda. So if Greenpeace, Sierra Club or governments pay there is no agenda and only truth and enlightenment?

Personal attacks are difficult and shouldn't occur in a debate in a civilized society. I can only consider them from what they imply. They usually indicate a person or group is losing the debate. In this case, they also indicate how political the entire Global Warming debate has become. Both underline the lack of or even contradictory nature of the evidence.

I am not alone in this journey against the prevalent myth. Several well-known names have also raised their voices. Michael Crichton, the scientist, writer and filmmaker is one of them. In his latest book, "State of Fear" he takes time to explain, often in surprising detail, the flawed science behind Global Warming and other imagined environmental crises.

Another cry in the wildenerness is Richard Lindzen's. He is an atmospheric physicist and a professor of meteorology at MIT, renowned for his research in dynamic meteorology - especially atmospheric waves. He is also a member of the National Academy of Sciences and has held positions at the University of Chicago, Harvard University and MIT. Linzen frequently speaks out against the notion that significant Global Warming is caused by humans. Yet nobody seems to listen.

I think it may be because most people don't understand the scientific method which Thomas Kuhn so skilfully and briefly set out in his book "The Structure of Scientific Revolutions." A scientist makes certain assumptions and then produces a theory which is only as valid as the assumptions. The theory of Global Warming assumes that CO2 is an atmospheric greenhouse gas and as it increases temperatures rise. It was then theorized that since humans were producing more CO2 than before, the temperature would inevitably rise. The theory was accepted before testing had started, and effectively became a law.

As Lindzen said many years ago: "the consensus was reached before the research had even begun." Now, any scientist who dares to question the prevailing wisdom is marginalized and called a sceptic, when in fact they are simply being good scientists. This has reached frightening levels with these scientists now being called climate change denier with all the holocaust connotations of that word. The normal scientific method is effectively being thwarted.
Meanwhile, politicians are being listened to, even though most of them have no knowledge or understanding of science, especially the science of climate and climate change. Hence, they are in no position to question a policy on climate change when it threatens the entire planet. Moreover, using fear and creating hysteria makes it very difficult to make calm rational decisions about issues needing attention.

Until you have challenged the prevailing wisdom you have no idea how nasty people can be. Until you have re-examined any issue in an attempt to find out all the information, you cannot know how much misinformation exists in the supposed age of information.

I was greatly influenced several years ago by Aaron Wildavsky's book "Yes, but is it true?" The author taught political science at a New York University and realized how science was being influenced by and apparently misused by politics. He gave his graduate students an assignment to pursue the science behind a policy generated by a highly publicised environmental concern. To his and their surprise they found there was little scientific evidence, consensus and justification for the policy. You only realize the extent to which Wildavsky's findings occur when you ask the question he posed. Wildavsky's students did it in the safety of academia and with the excuse that it was an assignment. I have learned it is a difficult question to ask in the real world, however I firmly believe it is the most important question to ask if we are to advance in the right direction.

Dr. Tim Ball, Chairman of the Natural Resources Stewardship Project (www.nrsp.com), is a Victoria-based environmental consultant and former climatology professor at the University of Winnipeg. He can be reached at letters@canadafreepress.com

Hairy Grundle

2007-02-05T08:42:00.000-05:00

Okay so who watched the big game yesterday? I was happy the Colts won. I was not happy with the commercials though. I though, for the most part, they sucked royal asshole. I actually thought K-Fed's was pretty funny and a couple that had the office workers out in the jungle were funny but most of them sucked balls. By the way...how did Prince stand out there in the pouring rain playing an electric guitar without getting shocked or jolted? Because he wasn't plugged in that's why. Don't get me wrong....Prince is a talented enough individual...this is not a dig at him but at all the ooohh and ahhhers out there who look at his feat of performing in the rain as the second coming. Calm down folks....the guy danced around without slipping and falling and lip-sanch and pretended guitar through his routine....it was good entertainment and let's leave it at that.

I still have my cold....it's almost gone but now I am in the coughing phase. For me that's the last phase before I get all better.

My wife had to go yesterday and sing with the record company owner's band. They kind of took her on as a backup singer and will have her sing lead on some stuff as well. She's gotta practice every Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday....I am gonna have lots of Stinky-watching to do but that's okay because it's my favorite thing to do!

Hey what gives with that song "Rock On"? You know the one where the dick keeps saying "Rock On, Jimmy Dean, James Dean". What the fuck is that all about? Gotta be one of the top 5 dumbest fucking things I ever heard....some man-toucher obsessing over a dead retard. While we're at it what's with that "Cats in the Cradle" song? That's another of the dumbest fucking songs I ever heard. Is it supposed to have some deep drug-induced meaning or something?

It's like -20 degrees with the wind chill up here....I thought I lost an ear coming across the parking lot this morning. It's supposed to be like this all fucking week too. This sucks. I guess they have some kind of bullshit law here that once the temperature gets below a certain degree there's a mandatory 2-hour delay for the school childrens. WTF?!?! Where the fuck was that law in NY when I was freezing my skinny ass off out there waiting for the school bus?!?!?! Why do we baby people so much? No wonder many of these kids are half-retarded.

Well that's my jive for da day. I'll be talking to you.

This Sucks

2007-02-02T09:46:00.000-05:00

I am sick :( My wife was getting a cold earlier in the week and yesterday she called me at work and asked if I might be able to come home early and help her with Samantha. So I left really early.....9:30. Samantha wasn't being bad or anything but my wife was in really rough shape so I told her to go to bed and I made her some soup and stuff and took care of Stinky all day. Anyway, now I have it....at least the beginnings of it. I am getting congested and just feel like I am dragging. I was gonna have some guys over for the Super Bowl this Sunday but I have canceled that. Oh this sucks...now I will spend the weekend in bed ringing the bell when it is time for my wife to bring me soup or a drink or something. That's right....like I told you before....I have a bell.

So because I am sick work sucks today. It is really giving me a headache staring at my computer screen.

Not much else new going on....just wanted to wish everyone a happy Super Bowl weekend! Hope you all have a great time....drink 1 or 12 for me!!!

Big Brown Beaver

2007-01-31T08:21:00.000-05:00

What's new? Not too much here. We got about 5 inches of snow last night after they said "up to an inch". Fucking rubber bags can't get shit right. Take your Doppler and stick it right up your ass pole-smokers!!!!

Well at least I have my car back from being repaired so I have 4WD again....makes the ride much better in snowy weather. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas on January 31st!!!!

Okay so in a week I will be 33 years old....that's very sad. I am nearing the proverbial hill.

You know I haven't gotten shit back yet for my taxes! Nothing...1099s from all my investments, W-2s, homeowner's interest payment statement.....jack shit. I know today is the deadline for everyone to mail those things out but Jesus Christ....do ya have to wait until the last fucking minute every single year? Give a skinny Italian kid a break man!

Looking at heading south in April for about 4-5 days......NC baby! It'll be nice to get out of PA for a while but I will miss my boat :(

I think I mentioned my wife and daughter will be going to Germany from May to June. I am thinking about taking 2-3 days off and spending the whole time on the lake fishing and dicking around. I can load up on burgers and beers and stuff and just "camp" on the lake on my boat the whole time. I can't think of many better ways to spend a few days. I also plan on doing a lot of recording while everyone is gone and the house is nice and quiet.

We got a call back from that record company last night. The owner has a band and he wants to start doing some stuff with my wife and I. They play a lot of shows in PA, NJ, WV, MD and in some big venues. Recently they've played with the Charlie Daniels Band and some other pretty big acts and they're really good. My wife's going over to practice with them singing backup for a while this Sunday. They also mentioned about seeing about getting some studio time for us which is all I am looking for. So again, we'll see what happens.

Okay so I have to go and buy some stamps now and try and get some work done. Talk to you soon.

Labia Majora

2007-01-29T12:21:00.000-05:00

I was reading an article today. Most of the article was about how women say an average of 20,000 words a day and men say an average of 7,000 (big surprise there) but then the author started talking about humor. Humor is more than just being funny or having a good sense of humor. To men, humor is a VERY important part of our lives. It is one of the fundamental differences between men and women. Not to say women can't be funny but I don't think they appreciate humor or treasure it as much as guys do. Many of us guys spend our day lurking behind the shadows just waiting for a co-worker, spouse, friend or innocent bystander to slip up and say or do something foolish....then we pounce and let them have it. It just gives us that warm fuzzy feeling inside and fills a void in our soul. I don't think women place that kind of value on humor. For instance I will be 33 years old in 9 days and do you know that I laugh my ass off every single time I hear a fart? Every time! I must have heard and dealt thousands of them up to this point in my life but they're funny and when a bunch of guys are sitting around and someone farts we can go on entertaining ourselves for hours. Women can't do that. Women also don't ride their friends the way guys do....at least I've never seen it. With guys you have a group of friends and they basically talk shit and make fun of each other. If you're true friends nothing is taboo....the meaner and more personal the better. You see this is a defense mechanism that guys use. While joking and making fun we're doing 2 things: 1) establishing control of the group (at least during the time we're doing the joking) and 2) distracting the group from making fun of ourselves.

I thought the number of words we speak each day was interesting too. A guy might look at his friend and say, "Hey ball bag you wanna go to the movies tonight"? The friend might say, "Yeah" or "Nah". That's it! That's the conversation. Well you might ask "what are they gonna go and see?" Well, they'll figure that out when they get there.

2 women might say, "Hey (name) do you want to go to the movies tonight? (movie name) is playing and I heard it's supposed to be sooooo good. Brad Pitt is such a hunk." Friend" "Well, hmmmm, like, let's see....yeah maybe....what else is playing? What time do you want to go? Should we call (name) and see if she wants to go?"

Now before all you feminazis come down on me I am not bagging on chicks! I love chicks. I am just pointing out some interesting differences between the sexes that nobody (or at least me) ever gave much thought to! So go easy on me...after all without women nobody would have invented ear plugs! HA HA HA. Plus dudes are smarter!

The Big Day

2007-01-24T07:52:00.000-05:00

I wanted to say a big fat HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Stinky today!!! The big 2 years old!! WAHOOO!!!!

Did anyone watch the State of the Union address last night. Of course I did. I had to see just how ridiculous Nancy Pelosi looked perched up in the Speaker's seat and it was BAD! Even worse was the President's introduction of her.....I thought he was gonna have an orgasm. Yes I know, he was just saying that and isn't really enamored with her. She thanked him by smiling that fake fucking smile for 60+ minutes. Then I got to watch the dems' response by Jim Webb and see, yet again, how fucking weak they are. They were mislead into the war my ass. That's the same as pleading ignorance which doesn't fly with me but obviously does with the moronic American public.

9 out of 10 Americans can ID Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton in a photo. However, about 1-2/10 can tell you the name of the Vice President, Speaker of the House, SECDEF, or Secretary of State. That says it all to me. Americans, by and large, are fucking idiots and VERY ignorant and misguided. But that's nothing we didn't already know.

It's cold as ass up here. Tomorrow is supposed to be in the single digits. Looks like I am gonna have to get out my bunny suit. You know the pink bunny suit Ralphie wears at the end of A Christmas Story? I got one of them. I like to sit on the couch watching TV in it and eat carrots.

My wife is having a bunch of cackling women over the house this afternoon with their rugrats for a miniature birthday party for Stinky. I am going to go out to eat after work so I don't get home until after they're all gone. My wife's gonna call me on my cell when the coast is clear. Then I am gonna come home and set up Stinky's big train in the living so she can ride around on it. In the meantime I will be at the German restaurant having a steak on a rock.

Speaking of food....can't wait to get another pubie-burger for lunch today! NICE!

The only other development is that we bought plane tickets for my wife and Stinky to fly to Germany from May to June. So I'll be home alone for a month. That's okay because, although I miss them when they're gone, I have many things to keep me occupied. That's it for now. TOODLES!

I....

2007-01-22T11:31:00.000-05:00

I have genital herpies. Okay well I don't but did you ever see those gross fucking commercials? The guy says, "I have genital herpies" and then his girlfriend says, "... and I don't". WTF is that?!?! Well then if you don't want to get it then quit banging the fucking dude and start banging someone without it! The only thing worse than these are the floods of douche, tampon, maxi-pads and erectile dysfunction ads we're all barraged with every fucking day. There's a time and a place for this shit and it isn't during the AFC Championship game!!! After all what the fuck do I care about how these pads have wings and those douches are fresh as a summer's eve or how a guy's cock and balls might fall off because he has genital herpes!!!!????

We just got a new chick at work and holy balls is she smoking hot! I swear that I had half-a-wood in our meeting Friday with her.

We spent the weekend in NY at my wife's sister's house for a big party Saturday night. We played poker and shit and I was up like $100.00 and kept playing and playing and ended up down about $30.00 so no big deal....but I shoulda quit while I was ahead.

Wednesday is Stinky's birthday. We had a cake for her yesterday at my mom and dad's house. I cannot frigging believe she's gonna be 2 already.

I just grabbed a burger from the cafeteria at work and after eating about half of it I found a bunch of hairs in it clumped up in a little ball. They look like pubies too with little crusty flakes attached to them and they smell very odd....like a wet dish towel that fell behind the kitchen counter and sat there for like 3 months before you get it out of there-musty type smell.

Damn I want my fucking car back...enough with this goddamn Chevy Impala rental car!!!! I think my car will be ready Thursday....jeez I can't wait. They wanted to give me a PT cruiser when I went to the rental car place....I told them I wouldn't drive it and gimme something else. Much like the elderly, I do not care for PT cruisers.

Well, just wanted to let you all know I am still here. I know I have been sporadic with the blogging but things have been busy. I'll improve it though. Toodles for now!

Fucking Deers

2007-01-17T12:00:00.000-05:00

Well tomorrow I drop my car off to be fixed from my collision with a deer last week. $3,500.00 big ones it's gonna cost. JESUS! Well, at least I don't have to pay it. I will have a rental car for about the next week that I can use and abuse. The only shitty thing is that I'll have to pull over and have the rental car searched every morning when I come onto the base to work since I won't have a Dep't of Defense sticker on it.

Got my drumset. FUCKING AWESOME! I have never been a big fan of electic drums...in fact I hated them. However, I spent the extra $$$ and it was worth it....they sound exactly like acoustic drums and they make it easy to record and stuff. Plus I can just wear headphones and play when Stinky is sleeping!

It's colder than an eskimo's cornhole up here. It's been in the teens and single digits with the wind chill. Bogus dude.

I am making a huge effort to not watch American Idol this season. I skipped it last night. It's gotten to be too much of a circus. I watched every episode since it started until last night. Now that it is such a big thing I am moving away from it. I like lower key type things unless of course it involves me drawing attention to myself through various drunken antics and shenanigans!

Well that's about it. Nothing new going on. I'll chime in again before the weekend. Hope everyone is doing well!

Worth a mention

2007-01-12T11:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at the White House, President Bush awarded the Medal of Honor to Marine Corporal Jason Dunham posthumously. It amazes me that the media is so focused on that fat pig Rosie O’Donnell’s feud with Donald Trump that the story got barely a mention.

In the spring of 2004 CPL Dunham and his marine brothers were on a patrol in Iraq when they stopped a suspicious Iraqi in a pickup truck. As CPL Dunham went to remove the Iraqi from the vehicle the Iraqi attacked him while simultaneously dropping a live hand grenade. With his buddies nearby (within the effective range of the grenade) CPL Dunham kneed the Iraqi in the chest to get him to release the grip around his throat. Then in an unbelievable act of bravery and heroism, CPL Dunham quickly removed his Kevlar helmet, covered the grenade with it and laid on top of it as it exploded. CPL Dunham selflessly saved the lives of several of his brothers. The Iraqi also lived and got up and began to run away from the scene. One of CPL Dunham’s marine brothers then opened fire on the Iraqi and fired 25 rounds at him as he ran and rightfully killed him and let him lay there in the street like the savage he was. A subsequent search found arms and additional grenades in the pickup truck. CPL Dunham survived for several days. He was medevaced to Baghdad, then to Landstuhl, Germany and then on to Bethesda Medical Center in Washington D.C. His parents met him there but never got to say goodbye because CPL Dunham was unconscious the whole time and on life support because his brain was so swollen that he lost the ability to breathe on his own. He had asked his parents to pull the plug should anything ever happen to him and not let him have to live on life support. They did.

Why did a story like this barely get a mention in the media? Why is a hero like this not praised and celebrated more? Why is every story about Iraq a negative one while nobody mentions all of the heroic things these men and women are doing or all of the good they’re bringing to this country?

It makes me even angrier when I hear people like John Kerry, that worthless waste of oxygen go on about the military and how bad it is. Well you know what? There was more purpose, drive, selflessness, heroism, worth, valor and honor in CPL Dunham’s pinky than most people will ever witness in a lifetime. People like Kerry do not even deserve to be mentioned in the same context as this heroic young marine.

Well done CPL Dunham. I hope you’re in a better place now. We’re proud of you and I thank you for your service. Bless your family and loved ones. Although nothing can replace their loss, I hope they find solace and pride in your deeds and can live on through those you saved. You are a hero. Semper Fi.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me....

2007-01-12T09:34:00.000-05:00

Okay I know you're gonna have a laugh at this. Well it seems the wildlife have gotten their revenge on me. All the bogus stories about having stepped on my cat's head and hitting a dog on my way to work....well this morning I hit a deer on my way to work. No shit this time. It cracked my front bumper and dented the hood of my shiny new SUV. Luckily that's all that happened and it didn't end up coming through my windshield or anything like that. Well, it's not too bad because I have a very low comprehensive deductible so I will only have to pay a few bucks for it but still.....what the fuck are the odds of that! If I never made those bogus stories up this never would have happened. And don't ask me what happened to the deer...that fucker.

Oh man I was so pissed off. I am over it now though.

Nothing else new. I am babysitting tonight. My wife is going to hang out at her friend's house for a while tonight so I am staying home and watching stinky. Not that I mind....she loves her daddy time and we always have a blast. Plus she's really good and easy to watch.

Well that's all...just wanted to let you all know that the animals got vengeance on me!

Cuidado--Piso Mojado

2007-01-11T09:08:00.000-05:00

You ever see those signs about slippery floors in the store after they've mopped? Well I like to seek them out and walk by and fall on purpose....usually I take out the sign and everything when I do it. Every time my wife and I are out somewhere and we come across one of those signs she says, "Oh Jesus...here we go" and walks the other way. That's when I work my fake fall magic.

Not too much is new lately. Just working hard (ummm yeah). I am waiting on my shit to show up from musician's friend dot com (free plug). I got my drumset, sticks, PA speaker stands, condenser microphone, pre-amp and some other stuff on the way. The fed ex page said estimated delivery of today but now those pinko fucks changed it to tomorrow. I cannot wait. I sold my drums right before I graduated from mid-hudson tech and have been dying to get another set since then (1996). I have only played a few times over the last 10 years (in a band in Germany for a while and then filling in sometimes in my wife's band in Germany) but that's it....now it's on baby!

Well, 5 days ago it was in the 60s and now it is in the teens. Holy fuckballs it's colder than a well-diggers ass out there! I am even freezing my nads off sitting here at my desk working away!

Stinky's birthday is coming up in 13 days. I can't believe it's been 2 friggin' years already. Holy shit that went by fast!

In less than a month I will be 33 years old....that's fucking old! I already have my birthday present so there's really nothing else to look forward to.

Let's see what else.....Oh I have mother's day all planned out already for my wife and my mom. My dad and I are gonna take them over to Hotel Thayer at West Point for the Mother's Day champagne brunch. Best brunch EVER...hands down! I have been there a few times for it on normal Sundays and it is phenominal.....for Mother's Day they do it even better. Should be awesome.

Dude I cannot wait to start fucking golfing again! I have the bug and it's killing me to get back out on the golf course. I am a ridiculous golf nut and the only thing I enjoy as much is playing music and boating. But I bought new clubs towards the end of the golf season so I think I am itching to play even more because the clubs are still really new. Make sense? No? Awwww go fuck yourself.

We have a luncheon at work today at the Officers' Club for a guy who is retiring in a few weeks. That's should be pretty cool. They have good food.

Well I think that's about it. I am gonna run for now. Be talking to you.....TOODLES.

The Big Move

2007-01-08T07:44:00.000-05:00

So my wife and I were sitting around Friday night and we're like, "Hey why don't we throw a bunch of shit out and move Samantha's room downstairs and turn her old room into a music studio/sports/game room?" So all day Sunday we ran around throwing shit out and did the big move. We put my wife's computer desk up on the loft next to mine and moved Stinky's bed and furniture downstairs and my 5 guitars, recording gear, PA system, keyboard, futon and Playstation/Tv upstairs. I am also going to be buying a drum set shortly....I miss having a drum set. Anyway, the layout of the house is so much better now with more room everywhere.

I had a couple friends over Sat night for poker....I had the shittiest cards all night long. I usually do very well but I sucked ass Sat. and ended up losing.

Back to work....this will be my first full work week in about a month and a half. That sucks. It's gonna seem like forever. Well, next week is a short week because I have Monday off.....NICE!

Anyways, I have some shit to go and do....and I have to shit so I will blog more either later or tomorrow. TOODLES!

Come on over here baby!

2007-01-05T13:44:00.000-05:00

When's the last time you heard a good pick up line? Have you ever heard a good pickup line? I've landed a couple broads in my day with some good pickup lines but more often than not they fail. Women just cannot seem to get over the "cheese factor" of a good pickup line. Now to be totally honest, I have never used a pickup line in a serious manner....I have done it a million times as an ice breaker or on a dare or as a joke. It worked a couple times because the chick would assume I was doing it as a joke and applauded the sense of humor. More often than not women would take it seriously and run away. Even now when I go out with my wife I am not above doing ridiculous things and hitting on girls with corny pickup lines is one of my absolute favorite things to do. Some of my favorites:

Mmmmm baby you're so fine I'd drink your bath water

Mmmmm baby, your skin's so smooth.....just like a buttermilk biscuit

Hey someone farted....what do you say we get out of here!

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass!

Don't I know you? Didn''t we go to different schools together?

Other than pickup lines I have been know to do the fake fall. I have an uncanny talent for pretending to fall down and make it look TOTALLY real. My M.O. is that I do it in front of a group of chicks and latch onto the one who gives me the most sympathy. It's all good fun and part of an ongoing life long social experiment that I am doing for no other reason than to have some fun.

What kinds of lines have you used or heard or what antics have you been witness to? I was hoping that your replies could serve as 1) entertaining and 2) educational things for me to add to my arsenal.

Who put this hair in my cola????

2007-01-04T09:18:00.000-05:00

It is usually really pleasant where I work because throughout the day they play relaxing music over the PA system. There's a lot of modern adult contemporary music, top 40, a little bit of country and a little bit of rock n roll. There's also a whole lotta Bee Gees. That's right, everyone's favorite rhinestone jumpsuit-clad group of falsetto brothers. Those wild and crazy Gibbs. Barry, Maurice and the other guy....like the 3rd tenor nobody knows his name....but he puts the G in Bee Gees. There was also Andy Gibb but he was never part of the Bee Gees and died at the tender age of 30.

They started off their career with hits like "I Can't See Nobody" and immediately declared their rebellious attitude with such prominent use of a double negative. They moved on and wowed us with hits like "Jive Talkin'". Then during the dawn of disco they turned that mutha out with "How Deep is Your Love", "Stayin' Alive" and "Night Fever".

Good times. Good times. I miss those classics almost as much as I miss the swaying of John Travolta's sexy ass in Saturday Night Fever. That was the pinnacle of disco and music would never be the same. Unfortunately as the lights dimmed from under the acrylic and plexiglass disco dance floors of the world so too did the Bee Gees' career. Anyway, I just thought I would share one of those moments I treasure as I sit at my desk at work and groove to the luscious sounds of the Brothers Gibb. About the only one I enjoy listening to more is Tom Jones. He is THE MAN! Every woman thinks he's a hunk (whether they believe that or not). I get in arguments all the time with my wife that she thinks he's hot. She's says she doesn't think he is but she's just being coy. He is THE MAN.

I had a crappy morning this morning. I hit a poor dog on my way to work this morning. He ran right out in front of me and by the time I saw him there was nothing I could do about it. There was nobody around and it was still dark out so I kind of just drove off. I didn't know what else to do.

Well what else is new pussycat? I've developed a post-it note habit. I used to hate those fucking people that have 10,000 post it notes stuck to everything in and around their workspace. Now I have a bunch of them.....though I am still not too bad. So I went through a dedicated effort this morning to either record the post-it note data in my outlook contacts, notes, a word document or just throw it away because it had old and useless information on it. My area looks much better and a lot less cluttered now. And I hate clutter.

I think this weekend I am gonna clean out my shed. It's kind of cluttered right now because I have some stuff in there for the winter from my boat and some new stuff I got that I haven't decided to put away yet. So we'll see how that goes.

I am starting to develop a real hatred for our cat. Last night I was sitting on the couch with my feet up on the coffee table playing Playstation2 and the little fucker kept jumping on the table and attacking my feet. So I would gently nudge it and shoo it away but he kept coming back and doing it over and over. So I picked it up and yelled at it and then he laid on the couch next to me and showed me his asshole.

Kidding about the dog

Happy Fucking New Years

2007-01-03T07:44:00.000-05:00

Well it's 2007!!! Countless pencil erasers will be widdled down to nubs by school children around the world who take that first month of January to remember that hey, it's 2007 not 2006!

I had off of work yesterday because the President declared it a national day or mourning for the late President Ford's death and since I work for the government I had off. That makes two 4 day weekends in a row and two 3 day work weeks in a row! NICE!

I am pretty excited that 3 weeks from today is Samantha's birthday and she turns 2!!!! Holy crap two years old already! Boy how time has flown when it comes to my little stinky. We already bought her birthday presents and stuff so that's all taken care of. My parents are going to put more money into her college fund also. I am very happy to know that her college is being taken care of....she will not have to owe a dime to go to whatever college she decides she'd like to go to. That's always been a HUGE priority of mine.

Speaking of birthdays I know someone else who has one coming up only about a month away. Some skinny Italian kid named Vinny is gonna be the big 33!!!! I already got my birthday present too! Sony playstation 2! I am not a big video game nerd or anything but once in a while I just like to sit there and put in a game and start shooting motherfuckers and letting some frustration out. Better than running around really shooting people!

We had a New Years party at my parents' house and it was a lot of fun. Good food, pictionary, trivial pursuit, all kinds of stuff. It was a lot of fun. Remarkably I barely drank anything. It's the first New Years in a couple years I was stone sober for. That's okay though....at least now I remember it!

Overall the holidays were awesome. Much more so for the fact that I have a Stinky now to make happy and she loved Christmas and all the gatherings and food and things like that. Yesterday we spent the entire morning taking down all of our Christmas stuff and it was a little depressing. But every year time goes by faster and faster for me and before I know it, I'll be digging out the decorations and stuff and putting them up again. But for now it is time to focus on other things.....namely looking forward to launching my boat and the upcoming golf season.

I was in my shed yesterday putting Christmas stuff away and had to take my golf clubs out and swing them a few times.....ahhhh the feeling I miss so much during winter. I also went through a bunch of my fishing stuff and determined that I am going to do some cleaning and maintenance on it before the end of March when I put my boat back in the water. I think I am going to stick with my current boat for this year and then trade it in for a nice pontoon boat party barge. I bought my boat primarily because I can ski from the thing because it hauls ass. Well I still haven't done it yet so now I will trade it in after this year and get one of those awesome barges with a live well for fish and put a nice grill on it and just tool around the lake like the old man that I am. Plus it will be more enjoyable for Stinky because of the wide open deck space.

The in laws want us to come to Germany for Christmas 2007. My wife and daughter will most likely go but I don't think I am going to. Things get too busy at work and too hectic around the holidays and in my position I feel like I need to be here to put out the fires and make sure things get done. So unfortunately I may not be with Stinky this Christmas....but I am still hoping that they'll end up staying here.

Well that's about it for now....I have bored you long enough. I will try and get back to a normal blogging schedule now. Oh by the way....anybody need any fruit cake? I got about 10 of them I am looking to unload.

Fromunda Cheese is Good

2006-12-28T07:38:00.000-05:00

How was everyone's Christmas? Hopefully all went well for everyone. My Christmas was awesome. Just watching Stinky open her stuff and play with everything and get really excited was the best. Although I got some cool stuff I was just happy about Stinky. My wife loved her stuff too. I gotta say, I did a better job picking out presents for everyone this year than ever before.

So how about the year's biggest celebrity breakups.....or the year's funniest commercials? Get the fuck out of here and get a life!

Who has big plans for New Year's? We're just going up to my parents' house for the night. We sit around and play boards games and have a bunch of food. I always beat everyone's ass in Trivial Pursuit. It's always pretty fun.

Work is pretty dull this week. A lot of people just take the whole week off to use up their vacation time and stuff.

I am getting pretty fired up about the new year starting. It'll be nice now that there will only be about 3 months until I can put my boat back in the water and start going mountain biking and stuff again. I mountain bike all year but in the snow and stuff I can't go on the crazy trails I usually like to go on. I am also thinking of taking up a new hobby....rock climbing. It's something we trained on and did in the army. It's scary as balls don't get me wrong but it's great exercise plus I like rapelling so I can do that too. Wifey's not too thrilled about my new found curiosity but hey...I wanna climb some rocks and the poconos is awesome for it. I'd love to get a kayak too but that might have to wait....I have enough toys for now.

Well, I am gonna go and get some more coffee. If I don't talk to ya have a great new year. Once all these damn holidays are over we'll see if we can't get back on a regular blogging schedule. Now excuse me while I try and un-jam this zucchini I got wedged into the crack of my ass!!!

Year End Review

2006-12-21T09:09:00.000-05:00

It's that time of year. We're now going to be subjected to all the year end lists and reviews. Year's best sports plays; Year's biggest celebrity feuds; Year's biggest fashion faux pas; Year's biggest events....and on and on and on. Does anyone really give a fuck? I mean once you boil it all down nothing's really changed right? Britney Spears is still a dirty whore; Tom Cruise and many others are still Scientology asshole cult members; Kirstie Alley is still a fat slob; Paris Hilton is still a worthless fucking pig; Iran should still be annihalated...along with the rest of the middle east (Israel excluded); and Rosie O'Donnell is an ugly turd-head.

Speaking of news can't you just see the media salivating? Why? Because so far in the war on terror the U.S. has lost 2,950+ soldiers. Can you not see them waiting and salivating and longing for the day the body count hits 3,000? A nice round number? Oh Vinny....you must be crazy....the media would NEVER hope for anything like that. Really? If you believe that then you're a fucking moron and not worth my time.

Sandy Berger--the fat piece of shit that was President Clinton's national security adviser--was found to have lied on numerous occassions about removing classified documents from the national archives. He removed them and hid them in a construction site because he did not want the 9/11 commission to subpoena them because it would make himself and the Clinton administration look bad. He received a $50,000 fine and 100 hours of community service. Are you fucking kidding me?!?! I work with classified material every day and let me tell you....it's a big deal. It should be treated as a big deal. All this does is set a precedent that if you knowingly remove, destroy, hide or tamper with classified material--then lie about it-- you can just get away with a fine and some community service. Well, at least if you were the national security adviser.

Last night I rubbed butter all over myself and went outside naked and played Bocce ball in my back yard. Good times...good times.

What's everyone's new years resolution gonna be? Let me know. I haven't decided what mine will be yet. I am leaning towards doing more for our service members. That's probably what I will do because it's worthwhile and a great cause. This year I sent a bunch of any soldier mail and I contributed a bunch of money to Sean Hannity's Freedom Alliance. Next year I am gonna try and do more. Maybe sponsor a service member or two at Walter Reed Medical Center or something like that.

My government boss is taking us out for lunch today and paying for everything. NICE! Surf and Turf for me!!!

I killed my cat last night....but it was an accident. I was standing on a chair changing a light bulb and when I was done I jumped down off the chair and landed right on her head. She never felt a thing though.

My wife and I are going to the stores this Saturday morning. That should be a doozy. I did all my shopping online this year just so I could avoid the stores. Now she's dragging me out to get one or two last minute things. Get ready because it's gonna be a battle. I have no problem whatsoever telling these fanatic fucking assholes what I think of them when they're blocking aisles in the store or elbowing you out of the way trying to jockey for a better position in line. And I am always right and they're always wrong. That's how I see it.

Well that's about it for now. I'll try and blog again tomorrow....maybe otherwise I will talk to you next week and we can maybe come up with some year end lists of our own. So again, Merry Christmas just in case I don't talk to ya before then!

Oh and I am kidding about the cat so calm the fuck down and stop hyperventilating now.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-20T09:43:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to pop in and wish everyone Merry Christmas. *GASP* That's right...I said CHRISTMAS! We're all ready to go. Everything's bought and wrapped. Stinky is anxiously awaiting Ho Ho so she can open all her presents. And she has a TON of them. I am not gonna lie either....I can't wait to open my stuff! I love presents....LOVE 'EM! So does my wife and she has a gazillion of them too. I make no bones about the fact that I am in it primarily for the presents since I am a materialistic bastard. But the best part will be Stinky.

I always hate this week at work. There are a lot of people out next week since they take the whole week off between X-mas and New Year. Therefore a lot of people try and cram everything in the world into this week and get a ton of stuff done before next week's exodus. Well Vinny doesn't work that way. My boss started in with it already. "Hey Vinny we need to make sure of this and do that by the end of the week". So I says to him, "Hey Paul...Vinny is gonna do the same shit this week as he does the other 51 weeks of the year. All that happens when you try and cram this stuff in is that it gets done half-ass or all fucked up so no, I will not jump through my ass to try and rush to failure and screw everything up". He thought about it and agreed....good.

I got a Christmas card from my co-worker Mary Ann this morning that had one of those scratcg off lottery tickets in it. I didn't win shit.....It's a Christmas Miracle!

I have to stop by the grocery store on my way home today....AGAIN! You see what happened is that I had bought a bunch of shrimp because I am gonna make steamed Old Bay shrimps for X-mas eve appetizers. Well anyway last night I couldn't resist the lure of the shrimp in the freezer and I dumped them all into my underwear and sat on the couch and listened to old Wham! records and did a crossword puzzle. It's just another way I like to relax and pass time.

I farted a little while ago while I was over by the microwave and fridge in the break area. Some woman came to get a drink out of the fridge and was like, "Wow, what's that smell?" I said, "Some dude just microwaved some fish a few minutes ago". She nodded and walked away. I think she bought it. I hope so because she was hot. Older lady but hot!

When do the 12 days of Christmas start? I know it's 12 days long but when is it?

On my desk at work I have like 5 picture frames with pics of Stinky and me and my wife in them. I have started to put them on random other workers' desks and wait until they notice and see what they do. So far it's taken everyone a long time to notice but they think it's a hoot when they finally figure it out.

I am planning a family trip to North Carolina in March. Not sure for how long yet but it's gonna happen. I will be bringing a few of my costumes along with me.

I just read an article that PA is making the decision today on who will receive the final licenses to open slot machine casinos. There's one already not too far from here in Wilkes-Barre at the horse track but it's operating under a conditional license and it's very small with not too many machines. The resort where I play in my golf league--Pocono Manor--is one of the applicants and so is Mount Airy which is also nearby. At least one of the 2 is assured to receive a license. Can you say CHA-CHING! My property value is gonna fucking skyrocket! Not to mention that the revenue is going to be used to reduce property taxes so I am gonna make out like a bandit. Good shit. It's a Christmas Miracle!

Well that's about it I guess. I don't know if/when I will blog again this week. So if I do not then I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas or Happy Festivus...."for the rest of us".

Deck the Halls...and Play with My....

2006-12-18T10:08:00.000-05:00

Wow....what an exhausting friggin' weekend. X-mas party on Saturday night and X-mas party on Sunday night....my my aren't we the popular ones! Yeah right. Anyway Saturday night was with some acquantances of ours....I wouldn't call them real friends....we just hang out once in a while. Anyway, we played a bunch of pool...drank, ate, drank, played some music, ate again....yada yada yada. It was pretty fun. Then last night (who the fuck has parties on Sunday?!?!?) we went to the record company X-mas party. That was pretty cool too. Usually the last thing I want to do is show up somewhere and hang out with a bunch of people I have never met. Well, we did and it was actually fun. There were a bunch of good people there....most of whom play in bands and/or are looking for a record deal or studio time or publishing. We had to leave early because Stinky was with us and she had to get home and go to bed so we ended up hanging out from about 6pm to about 8:45 pm. At any rate we're supposed to get together in the near future with the folks from the company and talk about some stuff. We'll see what happens.

I am really out of the loop as far as current events go. It's a terrible feeling because I like being aware of all the latest developments.....therefore I have some catching up to do. Between all this holiday stuff and studying I haven't had too much free time.

Well, I will blog again once I get caught back up on everything. It's a rough week at work this week because everyone always tries to cram everything in this week and get stuff done before Christmas week because not many people are around by then. So I'll blog you when I blog you. TOODLES!

Some food for thought

2006-12-15T21:10:00.000-05:00

Victim O' Da Man!!!

Nuff said

The man was talented but a genius?!?!

Hmmmm....Donuts??

Looks like evolution isn't foolproof

How fucking sexy is that?!?!?! The one on the lft is nice too!

Samantha is not allowed tor ide this ride.

Pig Story

2006-12-15T12:30:00.000-05:00

I never knew this until I was stationed there but Germany has HUGE numbers of wild pigs….you know, wild boars. They’re fast, aggressive and plain nasty! They are EVERYWHERE too. Well near where I was stationed in Friedberg we had a local training area that was out in the middle of the woods on a mountain. It’s called FTA—Friedberg Training Area. Anyway we used to go out there for small unit level training events in squads and platoons and do primarily dismounted training without our Bradley Fighting Vehicles. Anyway when I was a platoon leader I brought my platoon out there for like 3 days to do a bunch of training. Well one of my sergeants--we’ll call him Goose—was TERRIFIED of wild pigs. I mean he would nearly shit himself even just talking about them. So one night we finished training and set up a perimeter and went into our sleep plan at 50% security….this means that half the platoon is always awake at regular intervals around the perimeter and they pull security. Well when it was Goose’s turn to sleep I hatched a little scheme….we’d been telling him all day that we were gonna leave food out to lure in the hogs. He would scream at us, “You fucking better not!!!” Well that night when it was his turn he climbed into his fart sack (sleeping bag) and went right to sleep. So I grabbed a washcloth from my rucksack, rolled it up and wet the end of it. The idea here was to simulate a pig snout. Well once he was good and asleep I unzipped the top of his fart sack right where his head was. I then proceeded to grunt and make pig sounds and touch his face with the wet washcloth. The whole fucking platoon was watching through their night vision goggles (nods). They had to cover their mouths because they couldn’t keep from laughing their asses off. Well I kept poking Goose with the rag and grunting in my best hog call fashion. I also had my nods on so I could see his reaction. Well his eyes suddenly opened and almost popped out of his head. He jumped up so fucking fast and tried running but he didn’t realize he was still zipped up in his fart sack…..so he fucking tumbles down this big ass hill screaming the whole fucking time. Once he rolled all the way down he unzipped himself and started just running and screaming. It was like an hour and a half until he came back. We were fucking crying we were laughing so damn hard. When he finally came back his face was all bruised and shit….turns out while he was running he kept running into trees and bushes because he didn’t have his nods on. Dude, that was the hardest I have ever fucking laughed in my life. I learned 2 things that night…..Goose was really afraid of the hogs and I do a really good fucking pig call.

2 nights later I was chased by a wild hog while I was laying in the bushes hiding and simulating the enemy for my guys. I was waiting to ambush them so I could evaluate how they’d react when I heard a loud screech and turned around to see a little fucking pig running straight at me….I took off like a motherfucker down the road. I guess that was some kind of twisted payback. Those little fuckers were mean SOBs.

No Big Deal

2006-12-15T07:43:00.000-05:00

So let me fill you in on a small development going on here in NEPA. I told you we went to Karaoke after our Christmas party this past Saturday. Well, while we were there my wife sang a few songs after which some dude came up to talk to her. I thought he was just a random dude just flirting or coming to say hi or something. Turns out he owns a small local record company. He asked her what type of stuff she did and she said nothing really, just fiddles around with music at home and we record stuff at home that her husband (me) writes. Anyway, his Vice President was also there and she asked my wife to send her some songs. Anyway, we sent them some songs....like 4 I think that I wrote and we recorded on my digital 8 track at home. Well she called last night and said she loved them and invited us to their record company's Christmas Party this Sunday. I thought that was pretty cool. Now I am not expecting anything obviously but it would be pretty cool to record a song or two in a studio with someone who knows what they're doing with mixing and mastering....that's the hard part. I always have problems sharing my songs with people because they're all super personal about things that I have lived, done, dealt with, loved and hated. However, I do make exceptions....especially if there's a chance I might get to make a pseudo-professional recording out of it. Anyway at the X-mas party there's gonna be all the record company people and the owner's band and a bunch of other people in the record business from NE PA and Philly and stuff. Should be an adventure. I will have to bring my guitar in case anyone wants me to play something because all my songs sound better on my 12 string. Well that's that and we'll see what happens.

In other news, I have devised a way to make glue out of the funk between my toes and mixing it with some boogers and ground up toenails. Works like a charm!!

Well I have to run to a meeting now....I will blog again later and maybe tell a story. Talk to you in a bit.

I Collect Belly Button Lint

2006-12-14T09:31:00.000-05:00

It's true....I have a big Hellman's mayonaisse jar full of belly button lint collected from the past 6 or 7 years. I even have lint from other people in there. It's a varitable cornucopia of color and fragrance. Sometimes I leave the lid to the jar off to full the house with navel aromatic scents mixed with old mayo. *SNIFF* AHHHHHH.

Just kidding but wouldn't that be cool as hell? Maybe I will start collecting belly lint and melt some wax and make a belly lint candle. YUMMY!

Hey, I am a democratic politician...I just won the majority in the house and senate. I am gonna raise minimum wage!!!! I am a hero right?

Wrong...you're a fucking moron. Sure it benefits those who become employed in these type of positions.....[dramatic pause] HOWEVER, get your calculator out so we can start tallying how many jobs are lost to outsourcing, overseas work and companies automating many more processes who rely on these minimum wage employees. It hurts 10 times more than it helps.

Okay now that I got my token dem slam in I can move on.

I stopped at the store on the way home last night and it went very well....until I got to the register. There was my cashier--a black girl about 16 or 17 who was about as motivated as a retarded slug; the cashier from the next lane--same age white girl who tried to speak like a Puerto Rican or black girl; and the bagger--black dude about 17 or 18. First of all, I didn't know there were 2 black people around this area! I am not saying that in a bad way there just don't happen to be many minorities around here. DISCLAIMER: this story has nothing to do with the race, creed, color, ethnicity of the subjects.

Well I was putting my shit on the conveyor belt. I was the only person in either line so all 3 geniuses were talking while the black girl scanned my stuff. They were talking about another girl who was not present. They were talking about how this girl is a slut and the black guy shouldn't talk to her anymore and how the girl thinks she knows Spanish but doesn't. White girl says, "Oh she be thinking she be knowin' Spanish too but she don't be knowin' none o' DAT. She be thinking eight is ocho and shit". I felt the need to interject and tell her that 8 IS ocho. She replied with something like, "Psss, you know what I mean". So that's when I invited myself into the conversation. I said "Dana, I don't know what you be meaning because I haven't understood a word you've said other than ocho". I continued and told her that "you probably shouldn't be talking about inappropriate things and cursing in front of customers". It was at this point that she walked away and went to the "cashier's lounge". So I told the black dude who was bagging my stuff "hey man, you want my opinion? If you have to choose someone to not hang out with I would choose Dana because she's about as intelligent as the rock I have stuck in my shoe right now. I would be embarrased to be seen in the same store as her if I was working here." So he and the black girl laughed and nodded in approval. Then the black girl was scanning my last 2 items....2 bags of frozen shrimp that were $8.99 a piece. The scanner didn't work and she asked me how much they were and I told her I didn't know so she punched in $3.00 each. NICE!

Moral of the story: I like to think maybe I talked some sense into one of those stupid fucking kids. Man, I really don't remember anyone in my school when I was that age that was so fucking stupid or ignorant as a girl like that. And that's saying something because there were some real fucking retards in my school. No wonder people are growing up to be morons! There is no fucking way in hell I am letting my daughter go to public school and be subjected to that. I don't care how good the school district I live in is.

Well maybe later I will blog about the wild pig story. It's actually 2 stories in one. If not maybe I will tell it tomorrow. At any rate--peace out!

-T-Bone

Funny Stuff

2006-12-13T09:54:00.000-05:00

Okay I got this e mail this morning from a co-worker which is an excerpt taken from an actual memo at IBM dealing with employees replacing the balls in their computer mice. It reads as follows:

"If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, a replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method.Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer."

This got me and my buddy Dan e mailing back and forth about some funny stuff like that we ran across in the Army.

There was an incident while our battalion was deployed to Kosovo in 200-2001 where a fake intelligence report was released about a local farmer who shot another local man when he found him making love to one of his cows. The memo made it all the way to the Pentagon. While I wouldn't put this action past any of those savages this incident never actually happened.

Another pretty good one: While I was in Bosnia back in 1997-1998 we used to go out on patrols through the local area. We were just there to show our presence so the locals kept from killing each other. After every patrol the patrol leader had to go to the headquarters tent for a debriefing with the battalion commander and intelligence guys. They would ask a series of questions about what we saw, any interactions we had and other general observations. Well I had done a bunch of these as the patrol leader and all the questions were routine. That's until one day I came back from a patrol and went to my de-briefing and the intel guys started asking me about the chickens I saw in people's yards and other assorted livestock. The question was something like, "Would you say the chickens you saw were average or above average in size as compared to farm chickens you've seen back in the states?" I was like, "Yes....why do you ask?" I was told that the powers that be looked at this information as an indicator of how the economy was doing. In other words, fat chickens meant that the locals had enough money to buy an adequate amount of food for their chickens--skinny chickens meant people were poor. Now I never spent much time on a chicken farm but what could I say? They looked like fucking chickens!!! So then I started elaborating about the 2 headed cow I observed and a chicken that was the size of a turkey and was eating another chicken! The intel guys got all riled up and started releasing economy reports indicating that the economy was making great progress because some patrols were observing turkey-sized chickens in the local area. Now I don't know if these reports ever made it to the big 5 sided building in Arlington, VA but I know they made it to the commanding general's headquarters in Tuzla.

Hey listen....can't blame me for that. We had to do something for fun. What else is there when you live in a canvas fucking tent through the assnuts cold winter and have to trudge about 300 yards down the road through the snow and mud to the porta potty to take a piss or shit? All we had were mail-ordered cigars, another small canvas tent that served as a makeshift coffee shop and good ol' fashioned pranks and jokes to play on each other like the chicken intelligence reports.

Cornhole say what?!?!?!

2006-12-13T07:42:00.000-05:00

Anybody watch House last night? Midgets!! You see? House wasn't all overly sensitive with the midget mother and they got along just fine.

My wife is driving up to her sister's today with Stinky and they're spending the night. So I will be all alone tonight. I might have to yank out the porn and get to work!!!

I have to stop at the store on the way home and do some shopping. It's all foggy and rainy out today so it is the last thing I feel like doing. Oh well....duty calls.

Work is gonna suck today...we have a big teleconferenc ethis afternoon with our program office in Huntsville, AL. Always a giant pain in the ass. I won't get into the reasons why but lets just say it's no wonder there's so much wasteful gov't spending (I am not talking about me here).

Anyway, sorry I don't have anything creative or controversial for ya this morning. Maybe later I will? If so I will let you know. Later.

...And a Midget in a Pear Tree

2006-12-12T08:11:00.000-05:00

Oh that's right you're supposed to say "little people" right? Tell me, is "little people" really that much better than midget?!?! I don't play the PC bullshit game. I call them midgets, stewardesses, fat, retards, etc. They've been known as that for years and now all of a sudden we're supposed to create new terms of sensitivity and cater to everyone? Fuck off. Just because I call a little dude a midget doesn't mean I have anything against him!

Anyone know who Rep Silvestre Reyes is? He's the Texas democratic rep that Nacy Pelosi has appointed as the chairman of the House Intelligence Committee. Well in an interview yesterday he did not know the fundamental differences between Al Qaida or Hezbollah. He did not know what muslim sect they belonged to along with some other key characteristics of these groups. This fucking boner is going to be the new chairman of this powerful committee? Now granted....a lot Americans are fucking retards and cannot name their own representatives or 3 of the primary Presidential cabinet members or 1 or 2 of the supreme court justices...let alone know anything about the enemy we're fighting. However, you would think the person picked to chair this powerful house committee would know some basic characteristics about our enemies!!!! Or maybe I am wrong here....we should just fill these committee chairs with any old fucking moron as long as it's a member of your political party!!! Way to go Nancy Pelosi you ignorant San Francisco liberal piece of work. On election day the uninformed and ignorant voters of America made our country weaker. And you ain't seen nuttin' yet.

Jesus Christ....we have my wife's sister and fiancee coming down X-mas eve and spending the night and leaving early X-mas morning. Then X-mas morning my parents are coming down. Why is it I just can't have my empty fucking house with my wife and daughter and I alone!!!! Every fucking day someone's coming or going like a goddamn gypsy colony!

I gotta tell you, I scanned the channels last night looking again for fruit of the loom commercials because this thing is really bothering me. I also wrote a letter to fruit of the loom to complain that grapes comprise 50% of the fruit of the loom guys but not NEARLY 50% of all actual fruit. This is a gross misrepresentation and we the people demand action! See? I have my own causes that I fight for.

I stopped at the store yesterday and ran into one of my biggest pet peeves EVER! Old ladies holding conference in the middle of the aisle in the store. This chaps my ass like nothing else. Now, anyone who knows me also knows I don't mind telling people how I feel. I think next time they hold a conference they'll move out of the way and do it. You know I respect old people and all that jazz but an asshole is an asshole and I don't care how old you are. Just because you're an old person and I respect you doesn't mean you should take that respect for granted and think it is owed to you because I don't play that game. You wanna be an asshole? I GUARANTEE I can be a bigger one. I am very good at it (NOTE: no confirmation or feedback is necessary from the peanut gallery here).

Boy...X-mas is in the air (except Seattle) and the decorations are up and X-mas music is playing everywhere at work! Pretty good stuff.....the only thing I don't like is that with everyone playing X-mas CDs on their computers while they work I can't hear my "Fabio's Fabio-lous Christmas Songs" CD so I have to put my earphones on. Oh well....doesn't matter....'tis the season.....

By the way....how did George Michael's "Last Christmas" and that communist vagina John Lennon's "War is Over" songs ever become accepted into the holiday music mainstream?!?! Oh yeah then there's the Elton John song and the Feed the World song. What the fuck? What nonsense! I want to hear Bing Crosby and Andy Williams and those guys...not George Michael who moonlights as a dick grabbing men's room patron and drug fueled traffic violator. Why is it that we have to ruin yet another fine tradition like Christmas songs with this leftist Feed the World bullshit. Feed my ass! Spend some of YOUR fucking money and feed the world and leave me out of it. I eat well, my wife eats well, and my daughter eats well....that's accomplishment enough for me. So hey Feed the World guys....go fuck yourself.....Elton and George, you go and smoke a pole...and John...well, just stay buried and take Yoko with you. Ho Ho Ho.

He's a GIANT DILDO!!

2006-12-11T13:02:00.000-05:00

Who am I tlking about? Kofi Annan...the worthless fucking illiterate that runs the U.N. who is thankfully nearing the end of his term. What has he done? Jack fucking shit. He's too busy blaming the U.S. for everything instead of trying to address real issues in places like Darfur. I'd personally like to see someone hurl him off the roof of the U.N. building into the cesspool East River....right where he belongs. But do not despair....for surely another worthless fuck of a moron will take his place at the helm of the U.N.

Last night I was watching television and I saw something that made me think (I have been doing this a lot lately). I was waiting for 7th Heaven to come on at 8pm and was watching "Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout: Gary Coleman's--Scattered, Smothered and Covered Christmas" and a Fruit of the Loom commercial came on. I have been seeing these "Fruits" since I was a little kid as far back as I can remember. However, last night was the first time I ever noticed a couple things. First--does anyone know how many fruits there are out there? I don't either but there's got to be hundreds of them right? All different categories: melons, citrus, berries, etc. Well there are only 4 fruit selected as representatives for the Fruit of the Loom brand name and logo. 2 of the 4 fruits are grapes! That's 50% of their representation in grapes!!!

Does this bother anyone else? Don't you think the company should have chosen a more representative group from among all the fruits? Certainly the apple belongs and maybe even one grape guy but 2 of them? That fucks everything up.

Secondly....what's with the fucking pile of leaves walking around that qualifies as a fruit guy. I got onto the Fruit of the Loom website to see who this shady charater is and what fruit he is supposed to represent....alas, Leaf Guy--whose lawyer says could qualify as a fruit guy since fruit is often found attached to leaves. What?!?! WTF? So basically we have an apple, green grapes (which are good representation) then we have purple grapes (played by the token black dude) and leaf guy which is totally ridiculous. By the way, if they ever change and keep only one grape guy I hope they keep the green grapes.....not because I want the black dude to go or anything....I just like green grapes better.

Had our Christmas party Saturday night...it was pretty good....a little dry but I did my best to liven things up and not get fired in the process. Then my wife and I went to the Karaoke bar. That was fun. Sunday I just did some stuff around the hizzouse but I guess it was a pretty good weekend. This Saturday we have another X-mas party to go to over at a friend's house. I am not planning on staying long at all. I need some Vinny time to just relax and not have to be around all these damn people.

SO this Wednesday my wife is driving up to her 1/2 sister's house in NY with Stinky for her birthday. They're gonna stay the night so I am not too happy that when I get home after work Wednesday my little Stinky will not be there. I'll see her tomorrow night and then not again until I get home Thursday night. Oh well, I understand my wife likes hanging out with her sister and that's all she has here in the states. Good thing I am such an understanding guy...not to mention sexy as a motherfucker!

Anyways, gotta run and do some more work. TOODLES!

I Have a Dream!

2006-12-08T07:31:00.000-05:00

Dude I had this fucking dicked up dream last night. It was fucked up. I was dreaming that I came home from work one day and instead of walking into the house and seeing my wife and daughter there was Juan Valdez and his trusty Donkey! A fucking BURRO in my living room!! So I walked over and started petting him and asked Juan what his name was and he told me it was Bartholemew. I started arguing with Juan Valdez himself about why Bartholemew is not a good name for a Donkey. Man, it was weird.

Little known fact: I once went with friends to a coffee house in NC during their "open mic night" and wrote down an ad-lib poem on a napkin and climbed on the stage to read it to everyone. I called myself Bartholemew Bartez and was approached afterward by a guy who asked me to join his poetry group.

Okay so the skin the cat story huh? Well a few years back my wife and I were living in North Carolina. We decided to come up to NY and visit my family over the holidays. Some very good friends of ours were also up north from NC and we worked out a meeting in NYC for New Years. Well we all met up in the city and spent the day wandering the streets like urban nomads. At some point throughout the day I felt it necessary to curse out an arab. I had to take a piss or something like that and he wouldn't let me because I didn't buy anything so I asked him, "Where the fuck are we....Kabul?" or something to that effect. Anyway we spent the day basically milling around and waiting for the night time and the festivities that come with it. Of course as we walked the streets of Manhattan I kept asking the group if we could go to the homeless shelter and volunteer serving food for a little while and I also seeked out panhandlers so I could throw money in their styrofoam cups and lecture them about how styrofoam is bad for the environment and contributes to global warming (talk about a run-on sentence!!). Later in the day we ate at Da Nico's down in little Italy that my good friend Joey Clams owns. After eating and me climbing a tree to save a kitten we were somewhat tired of walking so we descended the stairs into the vast underground network that is the NYC subway system. We bought our tokens and waited anxiously for our luxurious big silver train to come and stop to pick us up. When it finally did we stepped on. The train wasn't super crowded but it wasn't empty either. We all inhaled the glorious scents of the train car: urine, ass, smell o' bum, child vomit, feet and pine. At some point during our train ride there was a lull in our usually enthusiastic conversation so I felt the need to spruce things up just a tad. Never being one to shy away from a challenge I proceeded to mount the overhead handrails and start hanging upside down. I then mixed in a little exotic pole dancing in the middle of the train as some curious passengers began to nod their heads approvingly. This only encouraged me more. It was kind of hard to work it with no music so I had to start beat-boxing. Then I began working it harder than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest and was gyrating and pulsating my way into the hearts and minds of our fellow train riders. One passenger in particular took an unexplainable liking to me and started to offer me money but I think it was about that time our ride was coming to an end. The whole time my good friends were cheering me on...my wife--no stranger to my spontaneous antics--just looked on and smiled. It was a glorious day and the best train ride of our lives. As we started getting off the train I looked around at my fellow passengers and soaked in their adoration. I wondered how many of them were there on vacation or something and have never been to NY and would now go home and tell everyone about some skinny white kid who skinned the cat on the NY subway system.

Anyway there it is....if I left something out feel free to let me know.

Hey what's with women? Why is it sooooo bad that I refuse to buy tampons or pads when I go to the store by myself?!?! When I refuse my wife says, "Vinny, you're like a little kid sometimes!!!" Well no shit! I tell her, "Listen, the day you go to the adult book store and buy me a blowup doll and portable pocket vagina I will go and buy you your nasty feminine products". If we go shopping together (which we usually do) I won't even take those nasty things out of the shopping cart and put them on the conveyor belt. Just gives me the chills thinking about it. By the way, why is it called an adult bookstore and there's no fucking books anywhere?!?!?

Okay well, you're all paying my salary for me (thank you) so maybe I should go and get some work done right?!?! Hope you like my story. TOODLES!!!

My name is Harry Balzack

2006-12-07T07:14:00.000-05:00

There was a congressional hearing recently on how the media is creating alarmism over global warming in the face of no evidence to support it. Amazingly this is getting almost no press coverage....you believe that?!?!? Say it isn't so! Here's a link to a great write up on it:

http://newsbusters.org/stories/cnn_anchor_falls_asleep.html

The funny thing is that CNN anchor Miles O'Brien fell asleep during the hearing. It also points out what a fucking moron Barabra Boxer is. It also describes how an NPR reporter hung up on a respected climatologist because he refused to say that global warming is being caused by human effects on carbon dioxide emissions. Good stuff.

I downloaded a few more songs for my iPod last night....3 Damien Rice songs. The dude is amazing. Love his stuff. I didn't know this but his debut LP was recorded in his living room and various hotel rooms around the world on a mobile music studio. I do some recording and know that it is not easy to get a quality product recording in this fashion. Although having a professional master the finished product certainly helps it is still not easy. I also downloaded one or two Gavin DeGraw songs...but not from iTunes....these are bootlegs of live performances. He's also brilliant.

I had to stop drinking Corona beers. I can't drink Corona unless there's a lime in it because it tastes like an elephant's cornhole by itself (yes I know what an elephant's cornhole tastes like). Anyway, I was watching "Huggy Bear's Christmas in Velvet" and during the commercial break I saw one of the Miller Lite "Man Law" commercials that declared "No fruit in beer" the new man-law. I tirelessly surfed the internet hoping to find some caviat that limes are a vegetable and not a fruit but alas...there were none. Then I desperately tried breaking open a Corona and stuffing a piece of broccoli in there but it tasted like a sweaty midget's underwear. So I aboandoned my search for a replacement for lime and will just stop with the Corona altogether.

Did you see that an airplane was diverted and had to land because someone farted? No shit! Seriously. There was a foul smell and passengers and crew got alarmed and the aircraft landed. After a brief investigation it was determined that a woman on the flight has a "condition" and she basically has super-stinky farts! She was not charged with anything but the airline banned her. So now I know that when I offend someone by floating up a greasy air-biscuit I can just say I have a "condition".

Did you ever go to eat at a restaurant and sit next to the window with your significant other? You sit there enjoying a delicious meal and BAM next thing you know there's a skinny white naked ass pressed up against the window? Me neither. But I have been on the other side of the glass. Ha ha ha!! Maybe I should tell some funny Vinny stories. If anyone wants a funny Vinny story let me know and I will put a few out there. I will try and remember them but I am sure I have forgotten about most of 'em.

Since I seem to mostly have female readers I want to put a question out there and see what the opinions are about it: Why do you think it is that dudes have such a thing about watching (or participating in) 2 or more hot chicks going at it together? By "going at it" I don't mean a competitive chess-match I mean....you know what I mean.

I took a different way to work this morning. Back roads, short cuts, etc but it ended up being 3 miles shorter than the way I usually take. Extra bonus was that there's a Dunkin' Donuts on the way....best coffee EVER on the face of the planet. Take your Starbucks $8.99 latte half caf no caf mochachino frappe flatulatta and stick it right up your ASS!!! My $1.50 super large coffee blows that shit right outta the water. NOODGE!

Alright...gotta go try and do some work folks. Be talking to ya!!!

Big Goings On....

2006-12-06T08:08:00.000-05:00

Well not really anything big going on.

I am on a mission. I have been hearing all the talk on the radio and TV news like we always do this time of year....about how stores say "Happy Holidays" and "Season's Greetings" instead of "Merry Christmas". Well I am raising the bullshit flag all the way up this year. I got my ears open and am going to immediately attack any well-wisher that treads around saying "Merry Christmas". I am happy that Wal-Mart is going back to saying Merry Christmas and it is a direct result of how much business they lost last year for being a bunch of vaginas and not saying it.

When the fuck did Christmas become a crime? It is a centuries-old tradition that is celebrated throughout much of the world. Much like Hannukah or Channukah (how the fuck you spell that?!?!) is. If a Jewish person says to me, "Happy Hannukah" I don't get all hot and bothered. I just say "You too man". You know what I hate? When someone fabricates a holiday like Kwanzaa (which was "made up" in 1967) and demands the same credentials be given it as something like Christmas or Hannuka!!!! Take your fake holidays and stick it!

Speaking of holidays and observances....my favorite is coming up next month....Hajj!!! That's right..when all those fucking savages head to Mecca for their pilgrimage to walk around a rock a bunch of times and trample over each other. Last year somewhere around 350 of them died. I was in Germany at the time and was subjected to BBC and CNN Europe news reports where news anchors were almost crying about the terrible tragedy. The Hajj itself is all proof you need about how fucking mindless and savage these people are.

On to more cheery things because hey, I am a cheerful guy. Last night while I was watching "Things That Make you Go Hmmm: The Life and Times of C&C Music Factory" my dog started barking like a maniacal fucker! So I go out on the porch in my socks and boxer shorts and there's a coon running around!! No not a black person you racist bastards!!! A RACOON! This thing was enourmous....as big as a man!!! Well, not quite but it was pretty fucking big. I have no doubt he was trying to get to my garbage cans but they were empty anyway and he ran off into the woods. Man, scared the piss out of me. Funny thing is...that's the 2nd run-in I have had with the local wildlife in the last week! Over the weekend I went out to the shed to get some wood because I wanted to build a fire and there's a skunk standing there next to the shed. So I backed WAY up and started tossing rocks at it....not hard. I didn't want to hurt it but I just wanted him to run away. He did and everything worked out okay.

My cat is really starting to drive me fucking crazy with its 'Cattitude'. She laid down next to me on the couch yesterday facing away from me with her little BUNGHOLE looking right at me. Unlike most cats that lay the fuck down and put their tail down ours keeps it up in the air. She only does it to me. So I picked her up and moved her to the other end of the couch and positioned her so the asshole was pointed away from me. Yep, she got up and kept moving closer and aiming her pooper right at me. This is bullshit man.

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn split up!!! WTF man?!?! That gorgeous piece of ass...what I wouldn't do to get with that!!! Oh yeah, and Jennifer Aniston is hot too!!!

Anyway, I have a meeting to prepare for. Hope everyone has a great 'hump' day. TOODLES!

Holy shitballs!

2006-12-05T11:39:00.000-05:00

Wow what a busy day I am having!! Ever have one of those? I do once in a while but not too often. Wow this one is a doozy!!!

Well I figured I would at least post something today. I really don't have much to talk about.

This Saturday my folks are coming over to watch Stinky because we're going to go to my X-mas party for work. It was fun last year but man...I gotta say, there are some stuffy fucking people that will be there. I don't know why people cannot just throw down and have fun. I am not saying you gotta drink or go absolutely nuts but COME ON!!! Why do these fucking walking boners need to sit there and act all super professional and talk about work and other assorted bullshit that nobody wants to hear about or talk about. Is it just me or is it like this everywhere?? I have no problem whatsoever yanking out my man-package and showing off a couple new dick tricks under the table. Now I know that's not appropriate at the company X-mas party but my point is....if I am willing to go that far why is it that nobody else can even just relax and talk about fun and funny shit?!?! Instead it always ends up being a bunch of fuck-sticks standing around playing grab-ass and talking about what a great job so and so did with this account and how Johnny Hogsnards did on that account!

All I know is that after the boring part of the X-mas party I am inviting a few of the fun people out to go with my wife and I to the karaoke bar. Yep, I am sure I will be singing some more James Brown and making a total ass of myself. I have no shame whatsoever so I figure why the hell not?!?!

Oh and I have a bitch I need to vent (I know...I always do). What's with these fucking people who you ask or tell to do something and they give you that, "It's not my job" bullshit. One of the first things I always tell people that work for me is that I will not tolerate the "it's not my job" bullshit. Especially here where I work....where our ultimate customer is the soldier. If it was up to me I would fire anyone who says, "it's not my job" but I can't so instead I come up with other ways to get to them. Bottom line is as soon as I hear someone say "it's not my job" I lose any and all respect for them that I might have had. I actually know a lot of people who agree with me on this. What do you think?

When the fuck did they start putting all the Christmas shows on so damn early in December? Didn't they have them on like the week before X-mas in the past? Why in the fuck are they so early now? Must be all the commercialization right?!?!

Speaking of commercialization.....what the fuck do the liberals have against Wal-Mart? More things for cheaper prices which helps stimulate the economy and create jobs?!?!?! No way....I am totally against it!!! Get the fuck outta here! I love hearing people rail on places like Wal-Mart because it shows how fucking ignorant they are. Then the next day they're in Wal-Mart X-mas shopping!

Okay, I am tired now so I am climbing down from my soapbox. I am going to go to the cafeteria now and get a double half-caf no-caf full-caf grande mocha latta double caf decaf frappawappaccino and a delicious side of brussel sprout, tree bark and ragweed salad.

Tea Bag anyone?!?!?

2006-12-04T11:18:00.000-05:00

I already did my one blog for today....but I was just reading a story and I had to write about this.

I don't trust tea drinkers. That's right....TEA DRINKERS! I am not talking about people who like the occasional cup of tea....nor am I talking about iced tea (sweet and/or unsweet). I am talking about the people who sit around in their social circles and sip their herbal tea and drink tea regularly in place of a beverage like coffee. Why don't I trust them? Don't worry about all that....I just don't. Let's just say I have my reasons. They fall into the same category with me as vegetarians or vegans, whatever the name of their cult is. I don't trust these people. They clearly have an agenda and I am not buying all their half-truths and gorilla dust!!!

You know the types of people I am talking about. You go over to their house and they have 78 different types of tea bags neatly organized in one of those wooden tea bag organizers with Chinese symbols stamped all over it like that makes them spiritual or aware. Their tea bag organizer is located in the kitchen right next to their organic Tofu dispenser. Fucking phony bastards. Yep...they're the ones with the hemp dental floss and those bullshit "dreamcatcher" things hanging in their windows. "Hey...what's that stupid looking ball of yarn doing in your window??" "Oh...that's my dream catcher....it catches dreams for me while I am making my soy burgers, nut-rolls and chi tea!!" Get the hell outta here dick!

Pennsylvania Dreamin'

2006-12-04T07:25:00.000-05:00

Well it is finally seasonal here in NE PA. It's been in the damn 50s and 60s up until this weekend. Not that I am complaining....but now it is back to butt-ass COLD outside.....25 degrees on my way to work this morning. I can cut glass with my nipples!

Well the shindig I had at my house went pretty well over the weekend. The only crappy thing is that we didn't go to sleep until about 5 in the morning. Then Stinky got up at about 7am. So my wife and I only got about 2 hours worth of sleep. Last night we went to bed at about 8pm though so that helped a bit. I kept waking up all night long though with a damn boner!!! No idea why....I didn't have any wild dreams or anything like that. I guess it's just because I am a dude and I can!

You'll have to bear with me this morning....my creative juices just are not flowing at all. I am very groggy and grumpy. Hopefully, I'll get over it and be able to post something of substance here on my blog. Otherwise you'll just have to read about boners, midgets or unsafe construction sites! Talk to you later.

Hurry up, pull my finger....

2006-12-01T07:23:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you: last night I had such a case of the swamp ass. My wife and I were sitting on the couch and I let one go. Holy shit! I was one step away from shitting my pants. It was foul. My wife started in on me with that, "God you smell, why do you have to do that?!?!" Of course I then attacked her with "Oh, that's right, you NEVER fart". Except when she farts it is even worse....it smells like graham crackers and day-old funk! When I fart it is a big event but when she does it it's cute. Yeah sure.

Anybody see the "crotchless" pic of Britney Spears on the internet? I did and let me tell you....all those hidden fantasies I had about her.....GONE! Looks like a clam got loose from its shell and hid under her skirt. Dude, I want no part of that.

Why the long face, horse?

This is it....tomorrow is the big challenge. I am having 4 people over to my house. My wife's half-sister and fiancee and one of my West Point buddies and his wife. The army-navy game is tomorrow too. So I have to cook for all these people. I love cooking but the shitty thing is that when I cook I never end up eating anything because I am not hungry. I guess that's good though since I think I am getting fat. The half-sister and fiancee are sleeping over so I am sure we'll all end up getting loaded and playing guitar and music and hanging out talking a bunch of shit.

I bought my daughter one of those trains you set up and ride around the house. It's not for X-mas but for her birthday in January. I put it all together already though and rode it around the house last night to try it out. That thing is HUGE fun. My daughter and I will be fighting for riding time when she gets it for her birthday.

Hey anybody know what ever happened to teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron?!?!

Was anyone that reads this ever a scout? You know, boy scout, girl scout, that type of thing? I was never in the scouts because my family believed (and still does) that all the den masters (or whatever the fuck they're called) were serial molesters who were only there to scope out young boys and lure them into their tent while out in the woods camping. You know...much like Catholic Priests but only out in the woods. Well I gotta admit...I am not sure they were all that wrong. Yes I know...just like everyone says "Not all muslims are bad" they say "not all scout leaders are molesters" but think about it. What better place for a molester to establish the front of a caring, nurturing adult intent on focusing on the well-being and development of young boys while secretly honing their modus operandi of luring innocent children down the path of violation and fear?!?! By the way, that Keira Knightley is fucking hot....she's got an ass like a 10 year old boy! Umm I mean she has a nice ass.

Well, nothing else new going on. Just a lot of sitting around and waiting for the new seasons of Dancing with the Stars and My Big Fat Obnoxious fiancee to start. I'll chime in again later if anything pops up, otherwise happy weekend to everyone.

There's something about Vinny....

2006-11-29T07:10:00.000-05:00

and I am still trying to figure out what! Don't you hate when people throw around words to try and sound smart or sophisticated and totally misuse the word? I heard it yesterday when someone was letting a co-worker know that come Monday it wouldn't matter because it would be a mute point. That's right....not a moot point but a MUTE point.

I gotta tell ya...I fucking hate cats! Yes I know I have one but I only have it because my daughter wanted one so bad. Truth be told our cat is pretty good....never took a dump or pee on the floor, leaves things alone (usually) but what's with the fucking attitude? That's right...attitude. The cat walks around with its tail up in the air all the time giving everyone a permanent glimpse of its tiny little cat-asshole. It's like the cat is saying, "Hey asshole, look at my asshole!" So last night I took some of the rope that I braided myself with my feet in my "arts and crafts for the physically challenged" class and tied its tail to its leg so it cannot put the tail up in the air and tell me to look at its asshole anymore. Okay so not really but that's what I feel like doing. Oh and I am not really physically challenged...mentally maybe but not physically.

So what's stopping me from throwing my hard-earned money into the Salvation Army's bell-ringing contribution pot? A few things:

1) I don't trust the motherfucker in the Santa suit ringing that annoying fucking bell! He's the same dude you'll see on your way out of the mall curled up on the curb with an empty 40 ouncer of Schlitz or Colt 45.

2) What's with the tri-pod mounted money can? Can't they have a normal jar or can that you put money in? How fucking obnoxious is that can dangling there from steel chains hanging from a gigantic red metal tripod?!?!

3) The annoying fucking bell....period!

I generally do not give ANY money to charities that have anything to do with people. That's because I hate most people and firmly believe that somehow, some way my money will end up in someone's hands I don't want to have it (i.e. drug addict, lazy fucker who doesn't try to find a job, unwed mother of 9 already living off of my tax money, etc). Instead I give money to animal charities. Only local ones that I research and know are legitimate. Here in northeast PA we have Save-A-Dog. They go around taking dogs in that are about to be destroyed and place them in homes. I give $$$ to them. The only other charity I give to is Sean Hannity's charity that pays for the college education of children who have lost a parent or parents to the war on terror. SO I am not ENTIRELY a cruel and uncaring asshole like I might come off as. I have also sent letters to soldiers serving in Iraq and Afghanistan and have been known to pick up the occasional tab in a restaurant anonymously. There you go...I really am nice now bite me!

Ever hear that X-mas song, "Christmas is coming the goose is getting fat....."? What the fuck is a haypenny??!?! I guess I could google it but them Jap bastards over at google got enough money. Oh wait, they're not Japs.

Who in the fuck of the planet signed Macy Gray to a record deal?! How off key and out of tune can you be?!?! I am the self-proclaimed "Worst Singer in the World" but she'd give me a run for my money with her big ol' afro!

I downloaded 3 songs from iTunes last night. "Starlight" by Muse and 2 Smiths songs. Then I went through my iPod to see if there was anything I wanted to get rid of or move into a different playlist and I realized, I have some really wacky shit on my iPod. I am only up to 140 songs but DAMN, weird shit. That's okay, most of them were free or I wouldn't have nearly that many.

I think I might need glasses soon. I have been told I look good wearing glasses so I don't really mind. No way you're getting me to stick one of them fucking lenses in my eye though.

They're opening an ABBA museum in Sweden. It's about fucking time! We should have one here in the good ol' USA also! Those 4 uber-talented supple Swedish dishes harmonized their way into our hearts with hits like "Dancing Queen" and "Waterloo". Why should they not be recognized? After all they were the icons of Swede-Rock and led millions down the path to righteousness and bowl cuts. They made the bowl cut hip like Billy Ray Cyrus did for the mullet. And hows about the clever name ABBA: did you know it is spelled the same way forward and backward?

That's all for now. I have to go and get some coffee and drop some root in the little boys' room. I hope it is a one-wiper!!!

Back to work people!!!

2006-11-28T07:37:00.000-05:00

Okay all the Thanksgiving hoopla is over and we can all settle down and get back to work. I had a great time up at my parents' house and seeing my brother and his family. It was not without some family drama mixed in but overall a good time and great food. So now it will be my turn at X-mas. I will be having a German style X-mas eve and then an American style X-mas day with Turkey and Ham and all that stuff. The family will be down for it so it should be fun. Plus I won't have to get up at the ass crack of dawn and load up the truck with all of our presents and haul everything up to my folks' house.

We went to Great Wolf Lodge indoor waterpark yesterday and it was a blast. That place is amazing!!!! Stinky was like a little waterbug and from 11am until 5pm she was out of the water for only about 30-45 minutes. Her mommy and I were TIRED from chasing her around all day. Her favorite was the wave pool. She liked walking out into the waves and letting them knock her over. I took her on some water slides with me also and she loved that as well.

Now it is back to reality....work. That's just fine with me though. This weekend my wife's half-sister and her fiancee are coming to stay with us. I met them over Thanksgiving....after my parents' house we drove a little further upstate in NY and stayed with them. Had a lot of fun. So this weekend should be a good time. Then the following weekend I have my work Christmas party which is always fun and the weekend after that is another X-mas party we're invited to. So I am booked out until after Christmas. Oh well.

Other than all that there's nothing new going on. Lots of buying presents, wrapping and waiting. Be talking to you.

Hey Gwen you SUCK!

2006-11-22T08:06:00.000-05:00

Hey, does anyone know what happened to Gwen Stefani? I was watching Standoff and House last night and at some point I flipped to the Grammy's and there was Gwen Stefani bellowing out some horrid excuse for a song. Of course she looked hot as balls but come on! WTF is with her solo stuff man? She was awesome with No Doubt now she sucks a giant moose ass!

I can't sit there and watch an awards show though. Especially when it's a music show...actually, I did watch most of the CMAs (to see Martina McBride and Sara Evans). But the grammys is mostly talentless (i.e. pusscat dolls, Jay-Z and other rap/hip hop "artists"). No I am not bashing them because I don't like their music. I hate jazz and blues and folk but at least they're talented musicians. Rap and hip hop or whatever the fuck they call it these days is pretty fucking talentless. Computer generated beats that a circus monkey could do, and mish mashing words together to try and rhyme. Get the fuck outta here!

Anyway, just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to hogging all the turkey skin so I can rub it around on my supple, milky white man genitalia. No but seriously, have fun and be safe!

I like eating at diners...

2006-11-21T07:36:00.000-05:00

...however, this post has NOTHING to do with that fact. Rep. Charlie Rangel D-NY has called, several times over the last year, for the U.S. to reinstate the draft for our armed forces. At first I was outraged! I was thinking, "WTF is this prick talking about?!?!" However, now that I have had some time to think about it I am wondering if it is such a bad thing. I don't agree that we just need a draft....but I think we should develop a program much like the one used in Germany.

In Germany, all youths between the ages of 17 and 20 (or in that range somewhere) are required by German law to participate in either military service or civil service. Their civil service could be working for the local ambulance, fire, police, postal or other municipal agency. They serve a period of 2 years in either a military or civil capacity and at the end of 2 years they can elect to stay on board should they choose.

You know, I am a realist and all I see walking around these days are kids in that age range who are disrespectful, fucking stupid looking (baggy pants falling down types) and are just plain fucking stupid. Maybe requiring these morons to give some sort of contribution to society would help. I am personally sick of hearing about how or why the government should support these dead-end fuckers rather than hold people accountable for contributing something. I am sick of the excuses and I am tired of hearing these useless fucks try and play victims. You want some kind of sympathy from me for these kids? You ain't gonna get it. Like Vince Lombardi said, "There are a thousand reasons for failure....but not a single excuse".

I don't understand why people are so fucking against making people accountable. You don't want to contribute and find a job? Sleep on the fucking street then but you're not going to get any help. And please, oh please, never say, "but I can't find a job". BULLSHIT! The only reason people cannot find a job is because they don't look. There's ALWAYS someone hiring. May not be great or even decent pay but it is something to build from.

So maybe we should begin some kind of societal accountability like this. It might just be a good thing.

Hair nets and hodowns!

2006-11-20T08:26:00.000-05:00

Okay I have to bring this up even though it might piss some of you off or ruffle some feathers but I am talking about X-mas chauvenism. "Vinny, wtf are you talking about now?" Well lemme tell ya. I like to kill time by surfing the sites of some of our finest capitalistic providers during the holiday season in search of gifts for people. You know the places, target, best buy, wal-marts, sears, etc. I get on their sites and proceed to look under each and every category for men, women and children to see what kind of new and interesting things are out there I could buy! Well lately I have noticed a trend that some might find disturbing....keep in mind that I DO NOT find it disturbing because I don't let such things rattle me.

Most sites have all of their categories like appliances, toys, clothing, furniture, tools, electronics, etc, etc, etc. Well on most sites now you can also find categories like "hot gifts for him" and "hot gifts for her". Come on you've all seen these right? Well, when I click on "hot gifts for him" a bunch of cool shit pops up like plasma TVs, golf clubs, reindeer knick knacks that poop chocolate candies when you push on their tail and a bunch of other wacky and fun stuff. However, **dramatic pause** when I click on "hot gifts for her" I get things like: pots and pans, vacuum cleaners, oven mitts, breast pumps (whatever the fuck that is) and food processors.

WOW! Now I understand that these quick "hot gifts" links are based solely on stereotyping, traditional gender roles, and the current demographics (I think). But talk about taking it to the extreme?!?!?! As far as I know, you ladies enjoy your iPods and gadgets as much as most guys do right? I know several ladies who are always in the market for a good deal on golf clubs too! Admittedly I don't know ANY women who find the reindeer thing charming and totally awesome like I do but that's just an exception.

So I am curious to hear any female thoughts on this subject. Are you okay with it? Does it piss you off? Should we all rise up and take the fight to the man?!?! Oh sorry, I got all fired up and carried away there for a minute. Anyway, feel free to chime in on this societal injustice.

Mmmm....a tasy treat!

2006-11-17T13:29:00.000-05:00

So listen, I developed this new recipe based on the age-old favorite "flapjacks". I like to call them Crapjacks:

1) Mix powered pancake mix according to instructions on box
2) Add assorted droppings of small rodents to the batter
3) pour batter onto griddle in small circles (you can also make fun shapes)
4) flip when brown on one side and brown the other side

Mmmm I made these over the weekend. They're a tasty delight that the whole family can enjoy!

Speaking of crap....I went like 3.5 days without pooping then all of a sudden I have done about 5 poops over the last 2 days! I did a poop last night before going into the shower and I didn't flush because I was afraid the flush might mess with the water temperature of the shower. Well after I got out of the shower I still forgot to flush. Boy did I get an earful for that!

I am going bowling tomorrow....all by myself. I haven't been in a while. My wife is having some German friends over for the afternoon so rather than listen to them cackle in German I am gonna put on my chef costume and go to the bowling alley. I got my own ball and shoes so I have to remember to bring them so I don't have to wear the stank bowling alley shoes. Those days are over. I also don't have to use bowling balls that are covered in cheetos crumbs and ass lint from all the kids and people that use them. I have this personal tradition of mine where if I ever get a turkey (3 strikes in a row) I have to drop down on the floor and do the worm. It has only happened one or two times because I suck ass at bowling but damn it is fun! I also cannot go bowling anymore dressed normally, I have to wear a costume. Or sometimes I just wear pajamas. Hey Liza J, remember the chef outfit I wore in NC bowling? That's the one I am wearing tomorrow!

Anyway, no other big plans for the weekend. If I get a chance I wouldn't mind filling my underwear with raw squid and sitting down and dragging myself across the floor on my ass. But I am not sure I will have the time.

Asscrack is a warm place...

2006-11-16T07:54:00.000-05:00

...and mine has been quiet lately. We're going on day 4 now with no dookie! No poop. No stool. No ass meatloaf. Oh well, I will keep drinking coffee and keep my fingers crossed.

I stopped on my way home yesterday and bought a few more X-mas presents. I am outta fucking control and need to stop. They were very small and inexpensive things but I still need to get control of myself....it's not even Thanksgiving yet!!!

I got home last night and the house looked like a blind retard went on a rampage through it. There was stuff EVERYWHERE! My wife had her little "playgroup" over in the afternoon with their kids and the collective monsoon destroyed the house. Nah, it wasn't that bad. She says there's this one mother who always whips her boobs out and breast feeds her kid right in front of everyone! I gotta sit in on one of these things and check that out.

I am putting the investment property on the back burner for now. Every time I find something with good numbers something falls through whether it is a zoning hearing or some other administrative BS. So I am gonna wait on it and look again after the houseing market drops off a little more.

Although I don't watch too much TV I am happy that my 2 favorite shows are on tonight: My Name is Earl and The Office. So I will plant my happy ass on the couch and watch and laugh my ass off as usual.

Thanksgiving is in one week! Then comes black Friday....the busiest shopping day of the year. What in the fuck could posess someone to go to ANY store on the Friday after Thanksgiving?!?! 2 years ago I took my wife to NYC for our anniversary on black Friday because we had reservations for the Rainbow Room restaurant and tickets to a broadway show for that night. Well she made me take her to Macy's and holy fuck! You could not move in that place. Since then I have vowed never to leave the house on black Friday and I have held true to that. The only thing getting me outta my house on that day is a fire or a hot naked chick running around outside calling my name...and we all know that ain't gonna happen.

I know it is the holidays and a happy time of year for me in general but there are some things that I hate this time of year: no golf, no boat, impending blizzards, listening to the same ass spelunkers that complained about the heat a couple months ago complain about how cold it is.

Anyway, I am gonna go now. Since I am putting off buying my investment property I am gonna check out that hovercraft I had my eye on for a while now.

Chef Boy My Dee

2006-11-15T10:16:00.000-05:00

So I thought I was done X-mas shopping and BAM...I order more stuff. WTF?!?! I keep seeing stuff that my wife or daughter would love and I buy it. I have to start exercising some discipline. I ordered a DVD player with 2 screens for my wife's car. This was if we go on long trips Stinky can watch her Disney movies and stuff. And if we take my car we can easily move the DVD system into there.

I haven't pooped in 3 days! That sucks. I am downing coffee this morning like it's going out of style because sometimes that does the job but not so far.

Work continues to go well. I've been super busy for a change so the days have been flying by. Things are getting ready to start slacking off. The holidays are here...hunting season....pretty soon the depot will be like a ghost town.

We are looking forward to Thanksgiving a lot. I also took the Monday after Thanksgiving off. Me, wife and daughter are going to the indoor water park for the day. Should be a blast. Samantha LOVES the water.

Hey Barbara Boxer wants to hold extensive Senate hearings on global warming. Great, more of my money being thrown away on junk science. Not for nothing but I have to say it and if I offend anyone then I am sorry but: if you buy this global warming bullshit, I really feel for you. Anyone who has done more than 20 minutes of research on it and does not have an agenda to promote it can easily see that all of the so-called evidence is a bunch of bullshit. Not to mention the evidence against it. Like I said previously, I could provide evidence and make a case for the aboninable snowman living in your fucking back yard if I wanted to.

I gave myself a haircut over the weekend. You know I have not paid for a hair cut since 1997 or 98?!?! Think of all the money I have saved.

I need new tires on my Tucson. Good thing I get free tires for the life of the vehicle! YEAH!!!! I have to make an appointment today.

Let's see what else? I have a Delphi Roady XT satellite radio in my car. They have these little sticky adhesive things to secure it to the dashboard and mine fell off. So I got on their web site to buy another adhesive thingy. Turns out they don't sell them...you'd have to buy the whole car kit! So I sent them an e mail and they replied back that they're gonna send me a dozen of them for free which should last me a long long time. So here's my plug: Delphi has great products and excellent customer service.

Speaking of car audio--whatever happened to the days of mix tapes? I know we have iPods and all that crazy shit nowadays. But damn, nothing compares to a good mix tape. You know that one you got hiding in your closet with the best hits from Kajagoogoo and Flock of Seagulls? You spin me round round baby! Like a record baby. Or hows about the one with everyone's favorite hits from "It's a Hall & Oates Christmas" and Rick Springfield? Yeah I know iPods and mp3s are convenient but nothing beats that scratchy sound of an old dusty mix tape, slightly warped from sun exposure from sitting on the dashboard.

It's been a while

2006-11-14T10:37:00.000-05:00

Since my last post. I had visitors in at work and they finally went home!!! Jesus, I don't know how some people get their jobs because they truly suck.

So the republicans got their asses beat in the elections eh? Well, can't say I am surprised. However, bookmark this page as an "I told you so" because it is happening already. What's happening? Here's a quick rundown:

1) Dems are already pushing to raise taxes immediately.

2) Dems are already pushing to pull out of Iraq. Not stressing what we can do to change direction and win the war but to just pull out. This should not be surprising since they do not know what the word "win" means when it comes to a military action.

3) Nancy Pelosi is endorsing Rep. John "The military sucks" Murtha as house majority leader.

4) Dems are REALLY pushing to bestow habeas corpus rights on known and suspected terrorists.

This is a short list and doesn't include facts like how Hezbollah and Al-Qaeda informally endorsed democratic candidates through the US. It also doesn't mention the fact that the democrats placed the first ever muslim reprentative in congress. But I suppose he's one of the peaceful ones right?

Well, don't say I didn't tell you so. Now we can all sit back and watch the deterioration of a nation. Thank GOD for the power of the veto.

In other news I finished all my X-mas shopping. I never left the house for it. I ordered everything through upromise.com because I have them linked to Stinky's college fund. So everything you buy online through there, you get a percentage of it contributed to the college fund. As usual I went a bit overboard on the presents....I always have. My wife and Stinky are gonna have tons of stuff. There's nothing I really want so I am anxious to see what I get. I have received most of the stuff already and it is all wrapped and under the tree. There are still a few more things I am waiting on. I asked my parents also to just send money to Stinky's college fund instead of buying her anything. But I am sure they'll still buy her something even though I told them not to. Jeez, Samantha's gonna be sitting pretty when it comes time to go to college. That's good, she won't have to worry about paying back loans. Anyway, I am gonna shop online every year...I hate people and I hate lines so I won't have to go to the stores during X-mas season. Hooooray!

In Honor of Those Who Serve

2006-11-07T15:46:00.000-05:00

As we all know this Friday is the observation of Veterans Day. As a veteran myself, this day holds a special place with me. The best and most awe-inspiring people I have ever met are those with whom I've had the priveledge of leading and serving with. I stumbled across the following article looking around the West Point Alumni page. It is about the taps vigil we had back in 1995 for 2 West Pointers that graduated the academy in 1994 and died in U.S. Army Ranger School in the swamp phase in Florida. I knew both of those guys. They succumbed to hypothermia and by the time they could get a medevac chopper in to evacuate them they were dead. A taps vigil is something that happens only at West Point and is something VERY few people ever get to see. It is usually only reserved for the Corps of Cadets and the families of the deceased and takes place at 11:30 pm as the bugler plays Taps for the evening. The article was written by a guy who graduated the academy a long time ago in 1960 before they had Taps vigils. I participated in 6 taps vigils while at West Point and I remember every one of them as though it was yesterday. That type of comraderie and dedication is something you cannot find anywhere other than in your brothers and sisters in arms...not just at the academy but throughout all branches of the military. That is why these heroes will always hold a special place in my heart.

"In the middle of winter .. in the dead of night ... A single cadet emerged from the Normandy sally port and silently crossed the concrete apron, stopping inches from the snow which still covered the Plain. He stared northward into the frigid blackness, past Battle Monument and on up the Hudson Valley. He stood at Parade Rest, bracing himself against the biting wind that bore down the river, picked up speed through the narrow weir formed by Storm King Mountain and Constitution Island, slowing as it crested Trophy Point, and finally picking up speed again as it raced across the Plain.

A few seconds later, another cadet stepped forth from the Corregidor sally port to the West, crossed the apron and took up an eastward vigil. Soon others, from plebes to First Captain, followed by ones and twos. The numbers of cadets staring out over the Plain began to accumulate gradually, like snowflakes during the first minutes of a storm, until they were standing more than ten deep from MacArthur Monument at one end of the barracks to Eisenhower Monument at the other.

Except for the few who were away on leave or official business, virtually the entire Corps of Cadets were present, and, despite the bitter cold, they were dressed in Dress Gray, the most traditional of cadet daily wear. There were no overcoats or parkas to keep them warm. They were not here to be comfortable. They were here to pay tribute to two of their own, Spencer Dodge and Curt Sansoucie, recent graduates who had themselves succumbed to the cold while in training for the profession of arms which these cadets would enter in the near future.

I stood with a small group of alumni in the shadows by the main door of Washington Hall. The First Captain had invited us to attend this special remembrance. We had no idea just how deeply each of us would be touched.

The outpouring of gray from the sally ports stopped as if on command. There was no rush of stragglers trying to beat the sound of Assembly, as there might be for a parade. This was a strictly voluntary formation, and they were not about to be late.

At precisely 2330 hours, the first crisp note of "Taps" cut through the darkness from a trumpet somewhere to the east. The cadets came to Attention and Present Arms without sound or signal, yet with a precision equal to the daytime crispness of a full dress parade. As the first three notes began to fade, a second trumpet, farther away, sounded the echo known as "Silver Taps." As the last notes rose into the night sky, the cadets returned to Order Arms with the same silent precision as before.

A group of about thirty cadets stood apart from the rest at the foot of the steps of Washington Hall. From their midst, there arose a soft hum that grew into the full, rich harmonies of the Alma Mater. In a single motion, all heads were bared in homage. At the third verse the volume rose with the phrase, "And when our work is done, our course on earth is run, may it be said, 'WELL DONE!' " The last two words were clipped off abruptly, sending another echo into the night sky before concluding softly, "Be though at peace." The final strains drifted over the Hudson.

Once again, silence fell over the apron for a brief moment until yet another sound came out of the darkness at the center of the Plain. A shrill, discordant wail rose as the drones of a bagpipe were pumped into action. The moment and the melody matched perfectly as the plaintive cry of "Amazing Grace" rang out through the night, first by just a single piper, then again with four pipes, as if to underscore the loss that was felt by all those assembled. The refrain was repeated one last time by a solitary piper as a universal air to bear two souls to heaven.

The silence returned, and the gray clad figures seemingly evaporated back through the sally ports. A few lingered, standing with heads bowed. One cadet knelt in prayer for his departed brothers. Finally, they too drifted away, and, as the scene returned to total stillness, we were awestruck by what had just taken place: a simple stark ceremony that spoke volumes about the bond among West Pointers and the sense of loss when members of the Long Gray Line are taken before their time. The cadet farewell is surely one of the most poignant, meaningful ceremonies held at West Point. I felt immensely privileged to have been there for it. Thank God it isn't repeated often."

Frederick C. Rice '60(May 1995, Assembly)

In a nutsack....I mean nutshell

2006-11-06T11:48:00.000-05:00

Had a great weekend. I did a bunch more X-mas shopping....mostly for Stinky. She's gonna get all kinds of shit on X-mas. I just have a few things to get for my wife and I will be done! NICE!!!

Election day tomorrow....I am predicting that republicans will hold the majority in both houses. God help all of us if Nancy Pelosi becomes the next speaker of the house. We'll see what happens but one thing is for sure....I bet the recounts and lawsuits are gonna be fucking ridiculous.

I have visitors in town again at work....for 2 fucking weeks!!! JEEZ man what the hell did I do to deserve this?!!?!?

I hung some X-mas lights inside my house over the weekend. I know it is entirely too early but 1) I want to go a little at a time until it is done so starting early was necessary and 2) most importantly, Stinky loves X-mas lights. So I put them up and now she looks at them and ooohs and aaahs about them. Now that I have her X-mas is so much more fun. I have always liked X-mas but now it's unbelievable getting to see how excited she gets and seeing her face when she opens one of her presents. She's daddy's little girl and I love every minute of it!

We're going up to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. It's gonna be really crowded there because they're having a bunch of family over. Should be a good time though. My brother from FL will be there and I haven't seen him in ages so I am looking forward to that.

On Saturday morning I took Stinky and we went to the bank. I had a check for $20,791.65 I had to deposit into my savings account. That's the most money I ever held in my hand (even though it wasn't actual money) and I was shitting my pants nervous until I handed it over to the banker to deposit. The shitty thing is that I can't spend any of it because it's for my down payment for the apartment building :(

That's about it for now. I can't wait until Friday because it is a holiday and I will be off. 3 day weekend baby!!!! I am going to spend it doing stuff around the house as I will be all alone because Stinky and her mommy are gonna be up in NY at a baby shower. So it will be a good time for me to turn all the lights out in the house and sit in the corner naked and rub piss clams all over my assy nipples and beat myself over the head senseless with raw carrots and celery sticks.

Chock full o' ASS!!!!

2006-11-03T08:47:00.000-05:00

Howdy, it's Friday....always a good thing.

1) A bus driver, I think in Washington State, was fired for flipping off the President as he drove by in his motorcade. There was a field trip for school children to park along the motorcade route in their bus and watch the motorcade....well as it drove by the bus driver flipped off the President. One the Washington's Senators or Congressmen who were riding with the Presidet took note and reported the incident and she was fired. Good. Way to be a positive role model and set an example you stupid bitch.

2) I haven't shit in like 3 days. WTF is going on here?!?!?!

3) I now have Samantha counting to 15 and she knows about the first 10 letters of the alphabet. I am not sure what the norm is but seems pretty good to me for a 21 month old. Gimme a year and I'll have her doing trigonometry and differential equations.

4) I have a 3 foot long pepperoni stick sitting on my desk at work right now. Seriously! One of the guys I work with has a buddy that owns an Italian Pork store and we get them really cheap...$6.00!!! It's only 8:55 am and I have already held the pepperoni down by my crotch like a penis and cracked jokes about 6 times already. It's gonna be a long day!

5) I have to leave work early today because I have an oil change/tire rotation appointment.

6) I left work early yesterday because my company had some VPs and such fly up from HQ for a quarterly meeting. We met for an hour and then got drinks and dinner on the company's tab.

7) Someone sent me a thing about a job opening making $20,000.00 a month. The only bad thing was that the position is in Iraq for 4-12 months. I deleted it.

8) Good news!!!! John Kerry will never win his party's nomination again to run for President in 2008!!!! More good news...Hilary is the leading candidate!!!!

9) Thanksgiving is only 20 days away. The holidays are rapidly approaching. I still have to figure out where the fuck I am gonna put my Christmas tree!!! I am gonna have to re-arrange some things. Maybe I'll just do like Frank Costanza and set up an aluminum pole and have Festivus this year. "I got a lotta problems with you people!!!!"

10) The markets are at all time highs and unemployment is the lowest it's been in 5 years. Hey, how come the President doesn't get any credit for any of this? Lower taxes generating more money in people's pockets.....people spending more thus stimulating markets and creating jobs. It works people....it fucking works. Where's the credit on CNN, NBC, CBS, ABC, CNBC, MSNBC for the Presidnet on this?!?!?!?! Where is it?!?!?! I don't see any!!!

11) 4 days until election day and I still haven't heard an idea from a democratic candidate. All I hear is "Bush is bad", "War is bad", "Republicans are evil", "I don't like Bush". What they should be saying are ideas of what they're going to do to improve things...or they should be saying "Yes I am a hypocrite by saying I support the troops and then doing everything in my power to undermine their Commander-in-Chief and call him all the bad names I can think of". Fucking liberal pices of shit dude. And yes I am predicting they will lose.

12) Little known fact: At my family gatherings most of the men there are packing heat.

A Letter to Jon Carry

2006-11-02T11:17:00.000-05:00

I am not sure I got the name right because I was a U.S. Army Officer and I ain't not be too edumacated. Here's a letter to John Kerry written by a good friend who I served with in Germany....although I did not write it, it is eerily similar to the one I did write and send that worthless piece of fuck-stick:

Senator Kerry,

Thank you for your 4-months of service in Vietnam. That act, however, is the last thing that you have ever done for the U.S. Military. Your record since has included the defamation of your compatriots, a close friendship with Hanoi Jane, and one of the most anti-military voting records in history, including votes against the Abrams tank, the Bradley Fighting vehicle, and the Stealth Fighter and Bomber, the equipment that gave the U.S. the technological advantage in the last decade. You then opted to vote for the war in Iraq, but against the support package necessary to fight that war. I cannot imagine a greater disregard for our troops than to send them to war without the ability to wage that war.

It would be hard to top all that, but you managed to by making the following statement regarding education: “If you make the most of it and you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq.” Mr. Kerry, we expect ridiculous comments from actors, actresses, and country music bands. These people have no responsibilities and their lives are completely focused on our amusement, so their spoken absurdities matter not. But you, sir, are a United States Senator. Your voice is one of leadership. Your opinions affect the nation. Your judgment affects the men and women in uniform who risk their lives every day for our safety. Soldiers and Marines are dying every day. They are being injured every day. The fact that you have the audacity to make such a statement is appalling. It’s embarrassing.

Don’t you remember how hard your men trained for you? Don’t you remember the complexity of the operations you were engaged in? Can’t you appreciate that we have 19-year-olds out there balancing being soldiers, policemen, diplomats, and public servants, all the while wondering if they are going to be attacked by some terrorist asshole and that even under all of that stress, they’re doing one hell of a job?

Their selflessness and poise should impress you. They don’t, however, because you are a craven, self-serving bastard who always felt you were better than the men around you, as opposed to feeling the honor of being chosen by your nation to lead the best our country has to offer into battle. This is not about politics, but rather about you - a man with sub-par credentials and an unacceptable lack of character once again showing your true colors. Even your “apology” was an embarrassment, insincere as it was and permeated with your clear belief that you are superior to those around you. You deserve to lose your seat in the Senate. You deserve to be held accountable for your actions. You deserve to get your high-brow, candy ass kicked.

You have been called a flip-flopper in the past. I want to make clear that I absolutely disagree on that count – you have hated the American Soldier for well over 30 years.

Let me vent

2006-10-31T14:25:00.000-05:00

Okay 2 things really got my goat today:

1) Johns Hopkins University suspended a fraternity today because of the language on their invitations to a Halloween in the Hood party. They said things like bling bling and hoochie and any other of the genius terms coined by the intellectual societies of our inner cities. The black student union protested the event and as a result the fraternity was suspended. Let me ask a question: if I am offended by movies called "White Chicks" and "White Man Can't Jump" who can I complain to in order to seek retribution? Anyone who plays the race card should be spit on. Hey, let's go down to Durham and protest to Mike Nifong--another worthless asshole--because some white guys are being unfairly persecuted just because a black stripper said they raped her with NO evidence at all--in fact, even in the face of the evidence against HER!

2) John Kerry is a worthless fucking piece of shit. I would LOVE nothing more and would gladly give a month's pay to squat right over his face and take a shit right in his mouth. The guy basically told a group of college students in California that they better focus on getting a good eduacation or else they'll be stuck in Iraq. Excuse me? This is coming from a guy who's 4 year cumulative grade at Yale was a 76?!?!?! That's right....one point LOWER than President Bush's 77!!!! I graduated college with a better GPA than this fucking retard and served in the military.....there are a lot of VERY educated people throughout all of the armed forces....officers AND enlisted. I am hoping the secret service don't pay me a visit for the letter I sent to Kerry through his web site. The guy ain't worth the corn in an Arab's shit.

Tuesdays suck....

2006-10-31T07:03:00.000-05:00

Not as bad as Mondays but pretty damn close.

Well not much new since my last post. Had a good weekend playing around with Stinky. Couldn't do anything outside because it was shitty out....super windy with rain.

I have a few more investment properties to look at before I close on the original one I was looking at. I think I might be able to find something with better numbers. We're also going to go look at a house for us this weekend. It's not far from where we live now but it has 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms and a full basement and more room than we have now. We can use it. I lost my music studio when we had Stinky and I didn't realize all the stuff you acquire when you have a child. So we'll see how we like this place. So we may be buying a house and an apartment building....GROOVY!

I just downed a HUGE cup of coffee so I think I might have to go and pinch a loaf in a minute or two...I am trying to work it up.

Anybody watch "My Name is Earl" and "The Office"? Man that is some funny ass shit. The Office is the best because it takes place in Scranton....right up the road. And that is such a shit town and all dark and depressing that the show hits the nail right on the head. God I piss myself watching those shows. There's not too much I watch other than sports, history and discovery channels but I watch those religiously and I ain't even religious!

Anyway, guess I will go for now....if something pops up I'll blog about it later. I was gonna get political because of all the media bias I keep getting subjected to but I will wait on that. Anyway, TOODLES!

Okay I got issues...

2006-10-27T07:47:00.000-04:00

Alright people I got some issues I need to discuss:

1) I was out sick yesterday. Yep, I woke up with a bad sore throat, stuffed up, and felt like a giant assbag. So I called in and laid in bed all day like a lazy bastard. I still feel like shit but I came to work today. Just call me dedicated. I attribute my frequent illnesses and colds to the fact that I now have a young child who plays with other children all the time. Between them, they're a giant germ farm and she's always bringing something home. When I get sick I take a bell into the bedroom with me and when I need something I ring the bell and my wife brings it to me.....she's the best.

2) I went to put my pants on this morning and I needed to bust out a couple yoga moves to get into them! Now I know I sound like a chick saying this but am I getting fat?!?! Fuck yeah I am and I gots to do something about it. I needed a crowbar, pliers and vaseline to get the button snapped this morning. I felt like MacGyver! I thought my mountain biking, hiking and golfing would be enough to keep me a skinny ass but I guess not. Gots to add situps to my exercise regimen.

3) Really pisses me off when people say that you get sick if you're not dressed warm enough, or your feet are cold, or you go outside and your hair is still wet from the shower. No. WRONG! These things may make you more susceptible however, you get sick from germs and/or virus! THAT'S IT!!!!!

4) When I was down in Tampa over the weekend we were talking to a group of chicks at a table next to us in the bar. They were really cool and seemed pretty intelligent. Anyhow, one of them started talking politics so I thought to myself, "Here we go, she's gonna ruin it by saying what a lib she is and how she hates the President". Imagine my surprise when she, and her friends started talking about how conservative they are and why and all these other things. I was pleasantly surprised.....then they brought up the North Korean's having nukes. That's where I had to put my foot down and correct them. The funniest part was when one chick said, "what are you a nuclear engineer?" And I was like, "yes, as a matter of fact I am....not by profession but that's what my degreee is". Anyway, the point is, they bought all of us guys a drink. Hows about that? THEY bought US a drink. Some of the coolest chicks I have ever met....down to earth, logical, rational, fair and fun. Why the hell can't more chicks be like that?!?!?! Well at least American chicks....there's a lot of European chicks like that.

5) Why in the fuck do people drink decaffeinated coffee?

6) You know the whole weekend I was in Tampa I had to continually harass, annoy and chastise my friends for carrying around their cell phones, blackberries, huckleberries, doodads, and whatever other fucking gizmos they had hanging off their belts. COME ON!!!! Two things: 1) you're not THAT important....believe it or not when we're not at work....work goes on without us!!! Imagine that?!?!? That's why you always place someone in charge if you're not gonna be there! 2) How the fuck can you relax and have fun when your shit's going off beeping every 5 minutes?!?! Screw that noise. I called my wife to let her know I got there okay and then I turned my phone off and threw it in my bag for the weekend. We're out 13 miles offshore on a boat and everyone's trying to get a fucking signal!!!!!

7) I started bringing my own toilet paper to work. I am sick of using the sandpaper they have in all these government facilities. Plus they probably pay $92.87 per roll as it is! I can't help it if I have a fragile bunghole!

8) I am starting to get real mad about all these fucking ZEROS that drive around in their Tercels and Civics with the bass on their radio turned all the way up and their spoilers on the back and no fucking muffler and they constantly rev their engines. I have made it a point to point at them and laugh at them so they can clearly see me. Calm down Dickey.....you ain't that much of a badass.....it's a fucking Tercel dude....calm down!

9) Sascha Cohen (I think that's his name)....the guy who does Ali G and Borat? He might be the funniest dude on the fucking planet. I was watching some of his interviews he's done from the "It's Da Ali G Show" and that shit had me rolling.

10) I'd like to publicly congratulate my friends Jody and Melissa for their brand new bouncing baby girl. Congrats guys and all our best. Thank God she looks like Melissa!!

11) Lastly...the last time my wife and I went to a place that had dancing (our 10 year reunion tailgate party) I did the nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarreah dance.

Bad case of swamp ass

2006-10-24T07:25:00.000-04:00

Yep you guessed it. I had such a case of swamp ass yesterday it was hard to believe. Probably just my system trying to get rid of all those beers I had over the weekend in Tampa. I ran to the stoolie about 4 times while I was at work to drop root. Luckily for me there wer vacancies every time when I really needed it! NICE!!

We were supposed to get like 2 inches of snow last night....didn't happen but we've been getting some flurries this morning on and off. Unbelievable...global warming my asshole!! It's supposed to be cold all week. Tomorrow is gonna be like 40-something but sunny....good enough for me to go golfing.

Today should be a fun day for my little Stinky. Every Tuesday my wife takes her to the local library for story time. All the childrens sit there with their mom and/or dad and the librarians read stories and they sing and stuff. Well today all the kiddies have to wear their Halloween costumes and they're gonna have a little parade. My wife promised to take some pictures which I cannot wait to see.

Oh well, I believe that is it for now. I will try to get my photos up soon. Anyways, hope everyone has a great day. TOODLES!

Holy Mother of Ass...I am getting OLD!!

2006-10-23T08:02:00.000-04:00

Well goddamn that was a KICK ASS weekend!!!! I got into Tampa at about 11:20 am on Friday and my buddy Brett was waiting for me at the baggage area, Gordon then swung by, we threw our bags in the car and headed to his house. In the afternoon we hung out in the pool and had our share of beers. We went out to eat for dinner at some place on the beach and got all rowdy and crazy. Went back to the house that night and Ray and Max showed up at about 9-10pm. We just kept hanging out drinking and swimming....a delightful combination.

Saturday morning we got up early at like 6-6:30 am....somehow. We headed over to the marina and boarded the Daisy Mae and casted off at about 7:15. I think we headed out about 15 miles offshore or something like that. There we were out in the Gulf, no land in sight, coolers full of beer and it was about 85 degrees at 8am! We caught about 32 Spanish Mackerel throughout the morning. Talk about having a friggin blast!!!! The coolest part was we never had to touch a fish....the dude on the boat took care of everything. He was pretty cool and was making fun of us when we caught smaller fish or did anything stupid....which was pretty often. We asked if he ever had anyone fall off the boat or lose a pole in the water and he said no so I thought about falling off the side of the boat holding a fishing pole but decided not to....didn't want them to kick us off and cut the trip short or anything. Anyway we got back to the marina at about noon. We went over to Hooters, the greatest beacon of capitalism in the free world and had a nice lunch. Back to the house for pool, naps, etc. Then bar-hopping Sat night.

Anyway, it was a great time and now I am exhausted. I didn't even drink that much but the combination of staying up late, not getting much sleep, spending the day on a boat in the sun, etc just wore my skinny ass out! I will try and get some pictures up when I have time....there are some killer photos. Anyways, hope everyone else had a good weekend as well.

My Celebrity Look Alikes!!!

2006-10-19T14:12:00.000-04:00

Happy Friday!!!

2006-10-19T09:52:00.000-04:00

Well it's my Friday anyway since I am off tomorrow and heading to sunny Tampa, FL. Gonna be a fucking AWESOME weekend. Only shitty thing is I have to get up and leave the house at about 4:30 am. The airport's only a 20 minute drive but my flight leaves at 6:30. That's the price I pay for wanting to get down there early.

Left work early and played golf yesterday. I played like a giant bunghole with legs but it was fun anyways. Won't be much longer and I'll have to put the clubs away for the winter which always sucks ass.

Dude, I've had to take a poop all morning and every time I go to the bathroom all the stalls are full. Well, I went in there once and a dude was coming out of a stall but I can't go if I see the person come out of there. I will only go in blind. Just something creepy about going into a stall to poo after seeing who came out of it and then you sit down and can picture the person's face who left the seat all warm for you....not to mention the pubes and crotch junk they left on the seat! Anybody else have issues with this? Tell you what....when I do end up finding a vacancy in the stoolie it is gonna be a big one....wish I had my camera.

I am sitting here listening to the music they play over the PA system here at work. Sometimes it is nice when there's decent music on but this morning has been an Elton John-fest. I mean really. Does anyone really like his music? B-B-B-Benny and the Jets?!? What the fuck is that song about?!?!?! Gotta be one of the dumbest songs I have ever heard. Oh well, the guy has more money than God so he must be doing something right. I'll tell you what though, with his lavishly-flamboyant lifestyle, if I didn't know better I would think he was gay.

I just went and switched a bunch of keys around on my boss's computer keyboard. Now when he starts typing he'll have trouble finding the letters and everything will come out all fucked up. I better be careful though because he'll be here tomorrow and I won't so he might fuck with all my stuff really bad...he's done it before and I know he's itching to do it again.

The realtor called me yesterday...all the zoning issues went through smoothly and were approved so when I come back from Florida I will move forward with purchasing the apartment building. Can you say $$$$?!?! Even though I won't be out enjoying the money by buying nice things with it, it'll be used to buy another investment property so I plan to continue growing this thing. The way it will work is that the tenants will be paying for my building(s). Real estate in this area is going up in value so friggin fast it's not even funny (with the casinos, revitalization programs, and people coming from NY/NJ because their taxes are too much). So I will have the option of hanging on to the places for income or turning around and selling them in a year or two at a significant profit.

The other big news is that I have a couple land deals that may be happening after I get the apartment building. There's this company nearby that does landscaping and all that type of stuff. Well there's some land for sale near where I live, all wooded and like 4-5 acres. I am talking with the landscaping company to sell them the rights to cut down the trees on the land. In other words, pay me for the rights to cut the trees down and use them to grind up for mulch and stuff and I will use that money for the down-payment on the property. Then when they cut the trees down and clear a portion of the land I will re-sell it because it will be worth more once it is cleared. This way I gain the profit without ever having to pay a dime. Pretty neat huh?!?!

That's about all that's going on here. I will post something Monday to let you know if I made it back from Tampa alive or not. Hope everyone has a good weekend. TOODLES!

Funny

2006-10-18T13:14:00.000-04:00

You'll have to grant me some leniency in being political since the elections are soooo close. Drudge ran an article about how Howard Dean is taking $5-10 million in loans to put toward close election races. What?!?! What happened to the liberals that were sooo confident they'd "take back the house and senate"? Where'd they go? Sounds like they're panicking scrambling to me! I guess they just weren't raising enough money with their lack of ideas or their bash Bush bullshit. Seems to me like a party that's confident in winning everything shouldn't need to borrow money to try and do it. Drudge also ran a story about Karl Rove and how confident he is in keeping the majority in both houses of congress. He also had a great quote: "This morning, I loved it: The [Associated Press] ran a story saying these Democrat congressional candidates outraised their Republican incumbents in the third quarter. Well, what they didn't say was that part of the reason that they did is that we raised the money earlier so that we'd be able to deploy it," he said.

By the way....anyone notice how badly the liberal media are campaigning for the democrats?!?! I won't even call them democrats anymore....there is no more real democratic party. I'll call them the libs...which should be synonomous with weak, idea-less, irrational, blame America first. The few real democrats that still exist are cast aside by the modern liberal party (i.e. Joe Lieberman). I disagree with mostly everything Lieberman agrees with BUT he has rational reasons for the way he believes and makes sense when he conveys those reasons. John Kerry standing up in a concert where "artists" are comparing the President's name with female genitalia and saying, "This is the TRUE America" is not my idea of rational.

To top it all off, senior republican strategists are saying that Newt Gingrich will be back for 2008 leading the republican party. Not to run for President but to lead the party in some capacity. GOOD. Talk about a SMART dude with unbelievable ideas. Things are looking up!!!!

Less than 3 weeks....

2006-10-18T08:44:00.000-04:00

Until election day. Are you gonna vote? I am.

1) Did you see all the liberals vote against the new interrogation bill? The bill authorizes CIA and other intelligence agencies to aggressively interrogate terrorists and terrorism suspects. Good. The bill specifically outlines what is legal and illegal though the public is not privy to this information. All the libs voted overwhelmingly against it. What that tells me is that they are STILL weak on national security and have no idea of what it takes to combat a force like terrorism.

2) Did you see former representative Gerry Studds of Mass. died last week? Who is he? He's a former congressman who had sex with his 17 year old page. Though 17 was/is the age of consent it was deemed legal but unprofessional because he was a subordinate. So when he died you had all the usual dicks praising him and how great he was....you know, Kerry, Kennedy, Pelosi, etc. Not only that but when he was CENSURED he received a standing ovation from his liberal peers....many of whom are still in the house and senate. Where's the outrage like they have for Rep Foley?!?!?! I am not standing up for Foley but simply pointing out how fucking ridiculous and FAKE these liberal pieces of stool are.

3) Majority of liberals...led by Charlie Rangel D-NY....want to repeal President Bush's tax cuts. Okay so let's increase everyone's taxes and stifle the growth of the economy. Makes a lot of sense.

4) We support the troops but are against the war. No such fucking thing so shut the fuck up. Either you support the effort or not....there's no in between. Let me tell you that Pvt Joe Snuffy over in Iraq, who stands in a guard tower all day long watching the wire around his base camp does not differentiate between supporting this but against that. He thinks that if you do not support the war then you do not support the soldiers fighting it....PERIOD. I know because I was one!! Joe hears John Murtha's sorry ass say that we CANNOT win in the war on terror and doesn't know what to think. I don't mind people disagreeing with the war for rational reasons. But when I hear all these fucking peaceniks and how they think if we pull out of there everything will be fine; or the assholes who say we're there for the oil who have no fucking idea of what they're talking about I go nuts! We SHOULD be taking their oil....every fucking drop of it but we're not....we're barely using any of it.

5) I have been watching campaign ads from PA and several neighboring states for weeks...even months now. I have yet to hear even ONE democratic campaign ad stating what that candidate's ideas and/or proposals are. NOT ONE! All they run on is that their opponent supports the President so you should vote against him. What the fuck is that?!?! The funny thing is that people will actually vote based on that! How fucking stupid are people?!?!? VERY stupid. The reason they do not state their own ideas on their ads? Either they have none.....or they know if they came out and said, "I'll raise your taxes and continue to undermine the war effort so elect me" they wouldn't get votes.

6) Where's the outrage for Senator Reid's ethics violations?!?!?! The liberal media is all over Foley and anything republican but you barely hear a word about that dick-smoker Harry Reid and his violations of ethics rules from land sales. Oh and lest we forget....he paid his staffers X-mas bonuses and gave them gifts all paid for with campaign funds....which just happens to be ILLEGAL! Where's the fucking outrage?!?!?

7) Two words: Nancy Pelosi......I don't know about you but I don't want to wake up on Nov 8th and hear that she's the new speaker of the house with her liberal San Francisco agenda. Next thing you now we'll have to forfeit half our paycheck to feed the homeless and fly rainbow flags outside our houses. That dirty fucking twat will get no respect from me.

8) Although I think EVERYONE is weak on illegal immigration I think the republicans are the lesser of 2 evils. Build the fucking fence on the border and enforce the law....that's all I am asking. Melting pot shmelting pot....I am losing too much money in taxes to support people who are here illegally with healthcare and bullshit like that. We have a fucking law now let's enforce it.

9) Covert CIA prisons....a fucking good thing. With a liberal majority we would have never gotten the bill signed to legalize them (same bill as the interrogation).

10) Any American that compares the current or ANY administration to the Nazis should be shot right there on site...no questions asked (i.e. at least 4-5 liberals in congress).

The fun part about all this is when I talk politics with people and they bitch and whine about the President or conservatives or policy in general. Then I say, "did you vote?" Nope. Then shut the fuck up and quit your whining.

I gots a midget in my desk drawer!!!!

2006-10-17T09:21:00.000-04:00

Not really but wouldn't that be fucking cool as hell?!?!?! Let's see:

Lynne Stewart, that fat ugly pig of a defense attorney got 28 months in jail for aiding her client (a known terrorist) in communicating with the rest of his organization. What she should have got was a bullet right in her douche bag fucking face. Pig whore. Sorry for the violent imagery....just letting you know how I really feel as always.

Saturday I took my mountain bike out and went for a leisurely ride....or at least I was planning on it. I ended up riding for about 3 hours up and down all these crazy ass trails and hills and this and that. I fell a bunch of times trying to do a bunch of stupid shit. You know, going over jumps and trying to ride across ridiculous streams and stuff....it looked like an episode of jackass gone awry. But it was crazy fun though so who cares?

Sunday my dad and I put new front and back doors on my house. I had a draft coming through each one so we changed them and now I should save some $$$$ on my heating bills.

Only 2 more days of work and then I fly out for Tampa, Florida for the weekend. Holy shit is that gonna be fun. Lay on the beach....go deep sea fishing, and probably hit some strip clubs with a wad of singles....NICE!

Tonight I am watching little Stinky because her mom is going to the gym. I am gonna take her and the dog for a nice walk and then we'll play around for a while. I always look forward to it when it is just me and her. It's nice to have our own time once in a while....healthy. Her new favorite thing are the deer that come in the yard. She runs right up to them and they stay right there! She gets literally about a foot away from them and points at them and yells "DEER!" and looks at us. We stay back a ways from her because the deer get nervous if we go near them but they love when just Samantha runs over to them to say hi. If we take Stinky out in the yard and there are deer in the woods they come into the yard as soon as they see her....it's hilarious. They walk right up to her and sniff her and everything....they're very tame where we live because we feed them and there's no hunting in the gated community. Pretty fun to watch.

What else....hockey season is in full swing and anyone that knows me also knows I am a hockey nut! The Rangers are tied for 1st place and playing fairly well. For me baseball is over because the Yankees were a bust once again and NASCAR is winding down so hockey and football are IT! I can only stomache football so much because of the ever-increasing gangster mentality bullshit but I watch the Steelers and that's about it.

Work is going very well. I continue to love my job and have no complaints at all which is always good. And I guess that's about it for now...I guess I will BLOG again when I have something new to say. TOODLES!

Where's Rev. Al?!?!

2006-10-16T09:34:00.000-04:00

Anyone following the Duke "rape" case? Is it not completely obvious that this woman who claims she was raped is lying? Her co-dancer completely contradicts her story and the time-stamped photos, zero out of 40 DNA matches, ATM time-stamped photos and everything else says she's full of shit. Is it a coincidence that Mike Nifong, the D.A., was pushing this case because he's up for re-election in a largely African-American community? No not at all. Can you say Tawana Brawley? Well, can you? Where's Reverend Al Sharpton calling for the heads of the priveledged white kids like he did during the Tawana Brawley investigation? I think that once this case goes to trial and the Duke students are found innocent, the woman who brought the charges should be tried and prosecuted like Brawley was and sent to prison.

Who ever heard of consucting a police lineup using all Duke lacrosse players?!?!?! Where are the innocent bystanders to fill the police lineup? In other words....this woman could pick ANYONE out of the lineup and it will be a Duke lacrosse player. This case has stink all over it. The D.A. went on and on (in the media.....a true media pig if there ever was one) about how the DNA evidence will be indisputable. The DNA then came back with ZERO matches to any Duke lacrosse player. Pretty fucking amazing. Then the D.A. came out and downplayed the importance of DNA evidence! Fucking jerk-off. Anyway, try the case.....lose it....then let the defense attorneys have a field day suing the piss out of this chick for defaming the names of the innocent students. Not that they would get anything.

Finally Friday

2006-10-13T07:54:00.000-04:00

So it was a short week with Columbus Day and all but for some reason it seemed like forever. This weekend we're just gonna lounge around the house and spend lots of time with Stinky. Next Friday I am flying to Tampa for the weekend so I won't get to spend the weekend with her so I am gonna have fun with her this weekend.

What do you think about N Korea? I like how all the clueless libs blame the Bush administration....let's not forget who contributed some of the technology for those slanty eyed bastards to start trying to build nukes....CLINTON and ALBRIGHT! That's right folks they gave the North Koreans reactor technology for their promise not to pursue nuclear weapons. Although I don't think Bush was aggressive enough towards N Korea he is not solely at fault for this. Anyway, they don't even have a nuclear weapon yet so we still have time. Because what exploded was NOT a nuclear weapon. It was the equivalent of a large dirty bomb. The science behind building a nuclear weapon with any kind of significant yield is so friggin hard it's not even funny. Their device was the equivalent of a humongous pile of TNT with some insufficiently enriched plutonium or uranium sitting on top. Not exactly harmless but not a nuclear weapon either.

Elections.....well here's what I think. I do think the republicans will lose seats in the house and senate but they will keep the majority in both. I may be right and I may be wrong but one thing is certain....democrats have no fucking clue and here's why. Scandal after scandal about the republicans (conveniently leaked 45 days out from the elections by democrats) and the libs still can't sew this thing up with any certainty. There are 2 reasons for this: 1) is that the democrats have no ideas at all. When is the last time you heard a democrat campaign on anything other than he disagrees with tax cuts, the war in Iraq, healthcare plans or social security???? When's the last time you heard one of them with an idea of their own? All they do is bash the President which I think people are starting to get sick of. 2) isn't it obvious that all this "news" coming out like the Foley scandal is released 45 days before the election when it is obvious that these folks knew about it for much longer? Like Rep. Chris Shays says (and I am paraphrasing) how is it that Ted Kennedy sank his car in a river drunk and killed a woman and he keeps getting elected? Well because liberals in the state of Massachussetts are fucking morons is the main reason. Bottom line is that people know that this is politics and not liberals caring deeply about the feelings and well-being of the poor kid who got the dirty e mails from Foley. At any rate that's my take on the elections.

Oh and I am keeping my fingers crossed that Hilary Clinton runs for President in 2008. I am HOPING for that. Actually, all republicans are hoping for that.

What else...I heard back from a few of the guys I saw at the reunion that I hadn't heard from in a long time. You know I didn't even realize that the chick who sings that song Who Says you can't go Home with Bon Jovi--her name is Jennifer Nettles--was at my reunion. She's married to one of my classmates. I saw her when I was there and knew she looked familiar but didn't realize it. Pretty funny.

Anyway nothing new or exciting so I will sign off until next week. Hope everyone has a great weekend. TOODLES!

Reunion

2006-10-10T07:54:00.000-04:00

Well I am back to work after the weekend of my 10 year reunion. It was AWESOME! We had such a great time. We went to the hotel Friday morning and met up with some buddies at about noon. We all hung out at the hotel bar (imagine that) as it was the declared meeting place for a bunch of us. We shot pool and just caught up all afternoon. Then Friday night we had our big formal banquet there at the hotel and that was also a lot of fun seeing everyone. Saturday morning we drove up to West Point. We met up and watched the parade and it looked pretty awesome. Never saw one from the other side of the parade field. Pretty impressive actually. Then we walked through the barracks and academic area. Nobody's allowed in there except for grads and their families on homecoming weekend and my wife wanted to see it so I took her through there. We walked down to our tailgate party at 11am. It was unbelieveable! A big beer truck was there with 32 kegs, a pig roasting (for after the football game) and all kinds of salads, burgers, dogs, etc. So we all hung out drinking for a few hours, went up to the football game and then stumbled back to the after-game tailgate. We even had a band fly out from Colorado and play for us for no cost. By 6pm the kegs were all floated and they went and got 10 more. So by 9pm we all left for the hotel again with 42 kegs finished and roast pig devoured. By far the most kick ass tailgate party anywhere. We all met at the hotel bar and hung out all night again.

Anyway it was exactly what we all expected....a big drunk fest with lots of embarrassing stories and seeing a bunch of people we haven't see in over 10 years. Anyways, we'll all be back there doing it all over again in 5 years from now. Only I don't know if I will drink that much next time.....yeah right. Anyway I have a bunch of pictures but a lot of them I won't post on here because they're pretty graphic and lewd. I will skim through them and maybe post some of the more tame ones though there aren't many. Hard to believe I spent that much of the weekend streaking and peeing on stuff I probably shouldn't have been peeing on!

Some pics

2006-10-05T10:56:00.000-04:00

Most of these pics were taken at the general store only 2 days before it burned down.

Stinky in the cornfield

Stinky on her first ride by herself

Again stinky on the ride

Daddy and stinky on the slide

Mommy and stinky in the cornfield

Sinky saying hi to Tigger and Dora

My finished yard

Me on my boat with the catch of the day!!!

I hope you enjoyed the photos as much as I did taking them...now it is time to pack before leaving for my reunion tomorrow. Have a good weekend.

Anyway

2006-10-04T10:45:00.000-04:00

I am still very upset about the fire at the general store. I am hoping they were well-insured and that they decide to rebuild the place. It really was an awesome place. I know that my stinky would be sad if she knew what happened and that makes me sad.

Today's my last work day until next Tuesday....nice. I am leaving early today to go golfing. Tomorrow I have some stuff to do around the house and pack and then Friday morning we haul ass to my reunion. I am very nervous and expect I will be until it is all over and done with.

Yankees kicked ASS last night. Awesome game.

I keep reading about that useles fuck of an asshole who shot those poor Amish schoolkids. Breaks my heart reading and hearing about it. Too bad he killed himself....I'd have liked to see him tortured and burned alive by someone instead of the quick painless death he didn't deserve.

Anyways, hope everyone has a good weekend. Also, have a great Columbus Day on Monday. I'll get some pictures up soon and will let you know how the reunion went next week....TOODLES!

Bad Bad Day

2006-10-03T09:19:00.000-04:00

I am very upset this morning. The general store that I always rave about with the petting zoo and all the cool stuff burned to the ground at around 6am this morning. You can see it at www.wfmz.com We were just there over the weekend for the hayrides and pumpkin festival and were planning on going again in a couple weeks. We're very upset about this.

Although my joy for it is overshadowed by the fire, game one of the ALDS is tonight for my beloved NY Yankees. So I will be sitting at home with my hat and jersey on watching the game. Anyway, I will write more when I get around to it. Bye.

Awww SHIT!

2006-10-02T07:44:00.000-04:00

Well the weekend wasn't bad. Saturday was supposed to be nice and Sunday was supposed to rain. So what happened? Saturday rained and Sunday was nice. We took Stinky to the great pocono pumpkin festival at the general store. We went on a hay ride through the cornfields. Then we walked through the cornfield maze. We went into the funhouse. We went on the merry-go-round. I even took stinky on the huge slide where you slide down in the burlap sack and she sat on my lap and loved it. But the BEST part was that she went on her first ride all by herself. It was a bunch of little cars in a circle that just went around and around. We put her in there and she went and waved at us everytime she came around to where we were standing. I got some awesome pictures of everything I will post one of these days. The only bad thing is that she started getting a cold and now I have it too! So stinky and I are both sick and I am sure her mommy isn't too far behind. Hopefully it is out of our system by reunion time this weekend. I have a short work week (Mon - Wed) and a TON of shit to do before I leave on Wednesday afternoon. Anyway, hope everyone had a good weekend. Be talking to you soon....TOODLES.

Fridays are Good

2006-09-29T10:58:00.000-04:00

I like Fridays. They are good. I hate Mondays. They are bad. Wow look at that, 4 complete sentences in 12 words. What a wordsmith!

Anyway Al Gore says that cigarrette smoking is a significant contributor to global warming. Okay first of all, there's no such fucking thing as global warming and I really HAVE to question the intelligence of people who believe there is. It is flawed science. I could put forth statistics and data to show that the amount of time one spends watching I Love Lucy is directly proportional to average life-span if I wanted to. It's another liberal and media cause that they have absolutely NO FUCKING IDEA of what they're talking about. Much like nuclear energy.

Back in the 70s-80s you had Chernobyl and 3-Mile Island. Now Chernobyl was pretty fucking bad. Russian reactor design back then had all kinds of safety flaws and did not have any redundancy in its safety, control or shutdown systems. 3 Mile Island in 1979: I am still trying to figure out what all the hype is about it. Did it scare a lot of people? Yep...sure did which stinks. Coincidentally the movie "The China Syndrome" was released only 11 or 12 days before TMI. How many people died as a result of 3 Mile Island? How many of you today know anything about 3 mile island? Most people associate it with terrifying, radiation exposure, meltdown right? Well some radioactive isotopes of potassium were released into the atmosphere. How many of you realize that the same radioactive potassium isotope is found in a banana?!?! Nobody got poisoned. Exposure in the immediate area was 1 millirem. An X-Ray is at least 6 millirems. Average annual exposure to you and I is 100-125 millirems. Trust me I was a nuclear engineering major and studied this shit! Unfortunately because people in general are ignorant and the media finds a darling of a cause that sells papers and commercials the whole nuclear energy industry suffered. The cleanest and most efficient power source out there is not living anywhere near up to its potential. That's the only thing positive I will say about the French....over 90% of their power is nuclear. By the way when's the last time anyone compared numbers of death in the coal industry vs. numbers of deaths in the nuclear industry. Not even close.

Global warming is the same darling cause of the media (bunch of ignorant liberals), Hollywood (bunch of SUPER-igorant morons) and people like Al Gore. Al Fucking Gore alone should tell you it is a bunch of nonsense. Anyway I give up....if you buy all this shit then you're pretty much hopeless as far as looking at things objectively. Because if you look at global warming objectively and pay attention it is pretty fucking obvious that it is junk science. Did anyone read the report released by Senator James Inhofe, Chairman of the Senate Environment And Public Works Committe? Or CNN's story about it? It's linked on Drudge but you can see it here:

http://www.epw.senate.gov/speechitem.cfm?party=rep&id=264027

Anyway, my visitors are finally gone. Everything went well but it was a long week. That, along with having to read about the super-genius Al Gore is enough to turn my stomache. Happy weekend everyone. TOODLES.

Scrotum flavored bubble gum

2006-09-28T07:48:00.000-04:00

So the visitors are still here UGH! Today is the last day so that's good. Golf kicked ass yesterday. I even got a free pair of foot joy golf shoes with all of the gift certificates I won throughout the season. Good deal.

muslims everywhere are still garbage smelling pieces of corn in my dog's shit. I am glad to see that Angela Merkel (the German Chancellor) is not caving in to threats of muslim shithead violence. They were going to do a Mozart opera in Berlin and one part of the opera shows muhammed's head being rolled across the stage after being decapitated or some wacky acid-induced shit like that. Anyway the opera house said they're not going to stage the opera because they're afraid of muslim violence. Angela Merkel stepped in and said we won't be swayed by their threats of violence! Now it looks like they might show it. Good. Fuck them pigs. I am so happy she won the election and that pussy-fart Gerhard Schroeder isn't their Chancellor anymore. Anyway, that's my take on things.

Well let me go and sign my visitors in through the security office and get this shit over with. Talk to you tomorrow.....TOODLES!

Oh boring days

2006-09-26T12:32:00.000-04:00

Well my weekend was good, the family and I had fun and spent a lot of time together. Even though that twat mother nature rained both days we made the best of it. I did some more X-mas shopping and already have like 10 things for Samantha and about 5 things for my wife. I still have quite a bit of shopping left to do but I will be done by the end of October. I was also able to score a TMX Elmo because I am people who knows people baby!

So far this work week has sucked ass. I have 7 visitors here from Alabama where the program office is for the programs I run. They're here all week and I have to listen to all their stupid fucking questions that I have answered 100 times already. You know, they're the customer and should be dictating how things get done but they can never make up their mind so I do all of their thinking for them and tell them how it is going to be. I don't mind though because that way I am NEVER wrong. As long as I get done what I say I will get done I look like a freaking superstar. But it is still fucking annoying having these people malingering around and getting in my way.

Oh well, I am leaving early today to go and look at another investment property. This one looks very promising and has unbelievable numbers. I will keep my fingers crossed.

Tomorrow I will be leaving early too because I have golf. I will stash my customers in an office somewhere and give them access to a computer to check their e mails and stuff and I will leave for the golf course. When you work for the government you become VERY good at contingency planning. If you don't, you'll never get anything done. So to accomplish my goal of golfing on schedule tomorrow I have planned for such a contingency.

At any rate, time to go back to babysitting. Their lunch break is about over and I don't want them wandering around and getting picked up by security. TOODLES.

Yesterday was chicks......

2006-09-22T11:38:00.000-04:00

Today is dudes. What the fuck is the deal with some guys? In our bathroom here at work we have 3 urinals and 5 stoolies. Now, man-law dictates that if all 3 urinals are open you go to one of the end urinals to piss. You DON'T go to the middle one. If you go in there and someone is at an end urinal, you go to the other end. The middle is the last one that should be taken. It is also acceptable to skip straight to a stall if the 2 end urinals are taken. So I just came back from the bathroom right? I went in right behind some guy and he proceeded straight to the middle urinal when all 3 were open!!! What kind of a sock puppet is this fucking guy?!?!? The only explanation for this is that he's a meat-gazer. THAT'S IT! That's the only explanation. So I had to go and piss in a stall because I didn't want the sock puppet to see my crank.

So now I am in a bad mood. Oh well, I will get over it soon enough. I saw on the news that hezbollah is having a humongous rally in Lebanon to "celebrate" their victory over Israel. Why doesn't the U.S. or Israel send a couple cruise missiles into the middle of this smelly group of fucking savages and kill every one of them?!?!?! That would put me in a better mood.

Well it's Friday, it's beautiful out and it is supposed to rain all fucking weekend...again! Mother nature is a dirty stinking whore.

Well, time to go eat lunch and goof off a bit. Hope you all have a good weekend. TOODLES!

Do Women Fart?!?!

2006-09-21T12:31:00.000-04:00

You know, what the hell is it with women and farting? Someone please answer me!! My whole life I have grown up and gone on being harangued by the opposite sex when I float an air biscuit. Do chicks not fart?!?! My wife and I will sit on the couch and I will hear a "BBBRRRRUUUUMMMMPPPP!!!!" and be like, "What the fuck? Did you just shit?" And she'll be like, "No I think it was the dog." COME ON!!!! The dog?!?! Even my daughter Samantha is starting already....she'll squeeze one out really loud and I'll say, "EEEEEWWWWWW" and she'll look around like nothing happened. Then when I spout one off she points at me and says "EEEWWWWW". What the fuck is that all about?!?! Maybe chicks don't really fart and I am just hearing things. Or the few times I have seen a chick acknowledge that they busted ass it was supposed to be cute but when I shat it was very disgusting and uncalled for. Of course I have been known to float them in public very audibly....VERY audibly but you know what they say.....it's not good for you to hold it in. I like farting in the grocery store loud enough that they can hear it in the next aisle and then they start commenting about it. I sit there pissing myself laughing.

The space shuttle returned to Earth safely this morning....not that most people care because it didn't blow up or disintegrate and was actually successful.

Most importantly once again my beloved NY Yankees clinched the AL East title....for the 9th straight year!!! GO YANKEES!!! Also, hockey pre-season is underway.... GO RANGERS!!!!!

I am going to look at another investment property on Tuesday. It is a 4 unit apartment building. The one I have been negotiating on and made an offer for has a pending zoning hearing so I am not waiting for that to be resolved. I will continue looking in the meantime.

I have my 10 year reunion at West Point 2 weeks from tomorrow. I am extremely nervous about it. I am fired up that I will be able to see all my best friends again and hang out drinking and telling a bunch of bullshit stories. I am just nervous about going back to WP because I still feel like I am under that microscope that I lived under for four years. Anyway, we'll see how it all pans out.

Well I guess that's about it for today and hey ladies.......pull my finger, I DARE you!

Short one

2006-09-20T07:50:00.000-04:00

No I am not referring to my penis....I have a short day today. I am leaving at about 11:30 because we have another golf tournament today. It doesn't start until 1pm but shit man, I gotta stop and get beers on the way!

Anyway, I am glad to hear that I wasn't too far off the mark writing about the muslim pieces of shit around the world....glad to hear I am not the only one who thinks the way I do.

Well, I actually have a lot to do this morning before I head off to the golf course so I have to keep this very quick. I should have more time tomorrow to come up with something creative....so be good, have a great day and we'll see ya tomorrow. TOODLES!

I LOVE Blondes

2006-09-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more. "I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!" "But I always buy it here," says the blonde. "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist. "YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her,"This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant". Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container -" TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM "

Tuesday morning water cooler

2006-09-19T09:06:00.000-04:00

So why is it that people can bash Christianity (i.e. liberal politicians, muslim clerics, etc) all day long and they're just expressing their views but when people question the muslim pieces of shit around the world they're bigots, zealots or whatever other derogatory word you want to use? Put a cartoon in the paper and the muslim filth riot in the streets. The Pope rightfully questions the muslim faith and questions their motives and he receives death threats. Does it sound like I hate muslims? You're fucking damn right I do....every one of them. Does that make me prejudiced or a bigot? Maybe it does and I don't mind saying so. I am sick of hearing how islam is so peaceful and it is only the extremists....kick my fucking white ass. I wouldn't trust one of these dirty stinking fucking dicks as far as I could throw him...or her. I have never liked them much and always had a distrust for them (because I have dealt with them and interacted with them firsthand) but now I have had it. I have been pushed over the line.

Make no mistake about it folks....we can talk about the war on terror all day long. But everyday (including today) in the headlines you have muslims at all levels--from average citizen to national cleric and politicians--calling for the destruction of Christianity and the west in general and actually declaring war!!! War on terror my ass. The fucking pussy-peddlers here in the U.S. and Europe should take a step back and look at the big picture. We're not fighting a coutry or a terrorist group....we're fighting a religion and an ideaology. When's the last time you've seen public outrage expressed by muslims at any type of act of terror?!?!?! Just because some clerics in Britain issued a fatwah against terrorism excuse me if I am not sold on their being peaceful. Any sick fuck that blows himself up in the name of his God is not representing a peacefule religion no matter what minority he belongs to! Sunnis, Shiites they're all the same to me fundamentally......pieces of shit.

Make no mistake about it....I am not a religious person. I have been to church about 6 times in my life. However, I am a realist and I realize that there are probably many decent muslims out there. But you know what? For these dirty scumbags I have lost the emotion of caring. Them, allah, muhammed, they can all blow me. Call me what you want but it is not going to take another act of terror against the west to get me to see the point. I would love to see the administration start realizing this also and start looking at our own turds (muslims) living on our soil with a microscope. That is if the liberals would take some time out from comparing the President and his administration to the Nazis....but that's unlikely to happen.

Speaking of the liberals and the upcoming elections I have yet to hear any ideas or plans as to what they'll do if elected. All I see are commercials and ads about how bad President Bush is. That's why the polls are swinging...not because the President and Republicans are doing anything new and wonderul but because people are realizing that liberals have NO IDEAS AT ALL. The only thing they seem good at is bashing republicans. No surprise there when Howard Dean is the leader of the Democratic National Committee. Democratic majority? I don't think so.

Sorry for the hostile blog today but I am personally sick of it. I don't care what names you want to call me.....doesn't bother me in the least if you do. I promise I will get off my soapbox and get back to some funnier stuff tomorrow. TOODLES!

I am back in da house

2006-09-18T09:37:00.000-04:00

Yo whassup?!?!?! Well I am back here in NEPA. Good trip to VA. It was a busy week but a lot of fun. Me and the other guys/gals in the leadership program (there are 7 of us) all got along great and had a lot of fun....and beer. The hotel was awesome. I sat my ass in the hot tub every day and ran on the treadmills and went swimming. The only bad thing was that the food in the hotel was ridiculous.....a NY strip steak, baked potato and salad was $39.00. Needless to say I did not eat there.

Anyway, nothing too in depth to report here....just wanted to say I am back and trying to get caught up on everything. Oh the apartment building....I am looking at a different one now. It is a little less money and in a different area....the first place accepted my offer but I added a date in my offer that gives me time to check out some other places. Plus with the first one there's a zoning issue that I told them I want clarified and resolved before anything goes forward. So that's it. I am glad to be back home with my stinky (who has a cold) and wife (who has a cold). We had a good weekend and spent all of our time together.

So let me get caught back up on the news and political issues and so forth and I am sure I will have something to say. TOODLES!

Oh Busy Days

2006-09-07T07:19:00.000-04:00

Wow, I just realized all the stuff I have going on over the next week or so. Holy shit I better get my ass in gear!!! This weekend I have to go up to the lake and take my boat out of the water for the year. I just untie it from the dock and pull it to the ramp, the marina pulls it onto the trailer and takes it away. They clean everything inside and out, flush all the fluids, shrink wrap the boat and winterize it and then store it indoors until I put it back in the water in April. Costs $1,100.00 but at least I don't have to do it. I also have to pay my dock fee for next year to reserve a spot which is another $850.00!! I have to do all of that on Saturday.

Sunday my dad is coming down and we're putting a new front and back door on my house. Not only are mine getting a little ratty but they have a draft and with winter approaching I want to save $$$ on my heating bills and don't want my stinky to get cold.

Then on Monday I have to drive down to Alexandria, VA for work. I plan on leaving around 9am and getting there at around 1pm. I will check in and sleep for a while until our formal dinner party Monday night. Yep, formal dinner party. Then Tues, Wed and Thurs are training and seminars each day. They're right in the hotel I am staying in which is convenient. I will be in the Sheraton Suites of Alexandria, VA in case anyone wants to stop by!!! Then Friday I drive home.

So I have quite a busy week coming up. I am gonna bring my mountain bike to VA though because they have all kinds of kick ass trails to bike on along the Potomac River. That'll be cool. They also have a nice pool and hot tub so I am sure I will be able to keep myself occupied. I might bring my golf clubs too. Well gotta run...more later.

Wacky Wednesday

2006-09-06T07:25:00.000-04:00

Okay so some issues to discuss:

1) Suri Cruise a.k.a. Tom Kitten? Who gives a fuck? Looks like a mutant if you ask me with her little hair helmet....she's probably been poisoned on vitamin B from that psycho fuck. Poor kid.

2) Katie Couric....again, who gives a fuck? Another cog in the liberal media with the interviewing skills of kermit the frog. Plus, sorry Katie, but you're fucking UGLY! I have seen her in person....eeeeewwwwww. Leather face.

3) Rockstar: Supernova....okay Liza probably won't like this but here it is. I no longer like Dilana. Over the past few weeks since she revealed her attitude and true self she's been going downhill big time. Every week she says she just wants to get past what happened and move on....then she comes out on stage and talks about how this song is meaningful because of what she's going through. Quit making everything about your fucking self! Last night with the gimp routine was the last straw. I think the band has also had it with her. She was clearly....CLEARLY the weakest last night and she knew it. Goodbye Dilana.....it's been fun. Actually I don't think the band will kick her off tonight but they should. If your leg hurts, sit the fuck down and sing instead of hopping around like a drunken retard on one leg. I think Magenti should win.

4) I am going to make an offer on the apartment building today. I will let you know how it goes and what the seller says.

5) I have measured my penis every day for the last week and it's been a different size every time. Just kidding.

No Golf Today

2006-09-05T08:02:00.000-04:00

Yep that's right I should be at the golf course right now. But that twat--mother nature--saw the need to provide yet another day of rain resulting in the postponement of the golf tournament. Where the fuck am I, London?!?!? We've had one sunny day in the last 2 fucking weeks. Unbelieveable. Anyway....how was everyone's Labor Day weekend? Mine sucked a giant cornhole. I wanted to get some stuff done around the house but with the weather I did not. Only 2 good things: 1) I got to spend tons of time with stinky which is always my favorite thing to do. 2) I went to check out the apartment building I am thinking about buying.

I was very VERY saddened over the weekend by the death of Steve Irwin....otherwise known as the Crocodile Hunter. I have all his videos and everything and LOVED the guy. The way he used to jump off his boat onto an alligator in the water....the guy was a fucking maniac! Anyway, he was stung right through the heart by a stingray while filming a documentary off the coast of Australia. You will be missed Steve Irwin.

Well, that's all for now...I guess I will just be relegated to playing my normal Wednesday afternoon golf tomorrow and see when they reschedule the Commander's Cup for. So, TOODLES!

Turkey Attack!!!

2006-09-01T08:59:00.000-04:00

I forgot to tell you....Wednesday when I played in my weekly golf tournament I had a somewhat traumatic experience....we were waiting to tee off because the group in front of us was playing a little slow. So while we were waiting I went into the woods to take a piss. Well I was standing there taking a leak against a tree when out of nowhere a humongous flock of turkeys comes running through. I was right in the middle of it all. I was jumping out of the way and leaping around all while still peeing. Well they disappeared as quickly as the came and when it was all over I realized that I pissed all over my shoes! Well, no big deal, to me it was worth it because it was a pretty wild scene.

Well well, another Friday. We're supposed to get hit with the remnants of tropical storm Ernesto later today and overnight. I guess since the global warming retards are wrong about all the hurricanes they have to play up this tropical storm as much as possible because that's all I keep hearing about.

In other news, the "deadline" for Iran to stop enriching uranium has come and gone. As usual the U.N. is proving what a bunch of pussies they are and not doing anything about another one of their resolutions being ignored. What a shocker! Does anyone even take the U.N. seriously? I really don't think they do....anywhere. It's their own fault too...they set the precedent by allowing Iraq to blow them off for 12 years with no repercussions. What an impotent and useless organization they are.

I am going to look at the apartment building tomorrow. If all goes well I may be able to make an offer in a week or two. All the lending agreements are being pushed through and all that jazz. Just proceeding very cautiously at this point.

No big plans for the weekend....it's supposed to rain the whole fucking time. I'll tell you this, mother nature is a whore! Big time.

Whatever, I don't feel like sniveling anymore so I am gonna go now. Hope everyone has a good weekend. I won't blog again until Wednesday because Monday's a holiday and Tuesday I will be working....on the GOLF COURSE!!!!!

I got a midget under my desk!

2006-08-31T09:08:00.000-04:00

Yeah yeah I know, they like to be called little people. They've been called midgets for a thousand fucking years so I am calling them midgets! I love midgets, they've always fascinated me. I have nothing against them and I don't run around making fun of them or anything so calm down....I just think it is remarkable how they just go on like they're the same as everyone else. Am I shallow? Yes I sure as fuck am but hey, at least I can admit it and freely talk about things that interest me....midgets. You know in Australia they have midget tossing. It's a sport they do where a bunch of big guys compete by seeing who can throw a midget the furthest. There's always a big uproar about how this is cruel and offensive yet the midgets are doing it intentionally to make money!!! They even wear safety gear. Check it out:

***This is where I was going to put the photo but this worthless fuck of a blog site will not let me paste a photo right now***

What else...no more Ryan on Rockstar. I couldn't stand him for most of the season but I admit....he improved a ton and has been great. My girl should have actually been the one sent packing because she was terrible on Tuesday night and terrible on Wednesday night too. Oh well, she's hot so I don't mind her sticking around (remember I am shallow).

The negotiations are going well on the apartment building. I am in a position now to acquire the property with absolutely no money out of my pocket. NONE! In other words, I will have tenants paying me rent which will cover the P.I.T.I. (property, interest, taxes and insurance) costs and still make a handsome profit every month. Enough to cover my current mortgage and car payments. That means I will be able to use all of that saved money as well as equity in the acquired property to purchase my next investment property because that's my plan. By next summer I am looking to have 3-4 investment properties at least. Because of all of the work I have done and had done on my own house I have several vendors lined up (plumbers, electricians, carpenters, painters, etc) to perform work for me at reduced costs on each property I acquire. So far with most of them I have been able to negotiate significant savings for their services by providing them each with an exclusivity agreement should I need their services. You may say, "Vinny it sounds like you're looking to go into this permanently and full time." Well, I am considering it once I get one or two or three or four deals through. That point will come if/when I can achieve close to my annual salary through investment properties. At that point I would switch over to it full time so I don't have to sacrifice anything as far as my lifestyle and spending habits go (which are a little ridiculous admittedly). Anyway that's where we stand. I am waiting to hear back from the seller today and my money guy as well and this weekend go and check the property and have it inspected. Then, if I am happy, I will draw up my proposed offer and serve it to the seller sometime next week.

Did you ever take a poop and go to wipe and your fingers rip through the toilet paper? Eeeewww I hate it when that happens.

Golf was great last night. We also have the Commander's Cup golf tournament on Tuesday. We have Monday off for Labor Day then Tuesday I will head to the golf course at 8am for another full paid day of golfing, prizes and free meals....all at no cost to me! Geee, thanks taxpayers. I love you guys!

Anyways, rub a dub dub I am outta here. Got some more property research to do. TOODLES!

Back to School

2006-08-30T09:11:00.000-04:00

Well it's Labor Day weekend coming up in a few days. The unofficial end of summer right? Well along with that distinction comes the annoyance of listening to everyone grovel that 'summer's over already' and 'Wow, summer just flew by'. Well, this pisses me right the fuck off. First of all, quit fucking whining about it. We didn't just create 4 seasons a couple years ago....they've existed for a long time and everyone grew up in a culture of 4 seasons so you should be used to it now quit fucking whining. Secodnly, summer is not over until Sept 20/21st. That is the date of the autumnal equinox which marks the OFFICIAL end of summer and beginning of fall. The next thing annoying me is that I always have to hear about how "My little Bobby had to go back to school already". Yeah well nobody gives a fuck. Your kid along with miliions of other will be going back to school next week so get the fuck over it....this does not make you special or unique.

Here in northeast PA, winter is like 10 frigging months long....it's ridiculous. Anyway all winter long I have to listen to these fucking old geezers walking around talking about how they can't wait for summer and the warm weather. Then during the summer, they have the saggy balls to say, "Wow, this weather is way too hot." These people are rim-jobs, pure and simple.

Anyway that's my vent for the day. Rockstar was awesome last night. Only 1 performance I didn't like.....my girl Storm. I think she's gone this week. She started off strong but has been shitty the last few weeks. I thought everyone else did a great job.

My negotiations are moving along well for my apartment building I am trying to buy. Let me tell you....there's a lot involved in buying an investment property....a lot more so than buying a home to live in. The seller is proving to be most flexible with financing options and I may be able to acquire this property with no down payment....even though I would still like to put one down for the equity. The great thing? No real estate broker or agent=no commissions. Sure there's the title insurance fees and my lawyer's charges but that's minimal. I will keep you posted on how this all unfolds....just in case you give a flying rat's ass.

Anyway, my pet rock just took a piss in my coffee so I have to go and clean my cup out.

Out of the loop

2006-08-29T08:21:00.000-04:00

Wow, I have been busy. Sorry I haven't posted shit lately. Actually not much new going on. The only new thing is that I am in negotiations for buying a 4 unit apartment building. I still have some calls to make and inspections to do so there's a lot left to be done and a long way to go but it is looking good. I also called in a realtor to come and do a fair market analysis on my house. I am planning on selling it in April or May and upgrading....BIG TIME. He told me what he can safely get for my house and it is a 63% profit. I will look for a 4-5 bedroom 2-3 bathroom place with a full basement (unfinished) that is a little closer to the lake. I will be able to sink a nice downpayment into it and use the rest of the profit to put down on another rental property. I am looking at having 3-4 properties (other than my own) within a year. So that's it...that's all that is new.

How has everyone else been? I have been checking people's blogs on and off and haven't seen anything. I guess I am not the only one slacking in that department. I have been making all my reservations and stuff for my college 10 year reunion. Man what a pain in the ass. Buying football game tickets, banquet/cocktail party tickets, limo reservations, hotel rooms, parades, tailgate party reservations, etc, etc, etc. Oh well, should be a blast. I am still really nervous about going back though.

Oh and I treated myself to a new set of golf clubs. Hey big country if you're reading this I went and bought a set of Taylor Made irons, driver and 3 wood. Oh and I got a nice new bag to put them in. I figured I bought my last set some 10 years ago so it was time for a new set. I took them to the driving range and hit the ball a TON! Can't wait to play tomorrow with them.

My little stinky is doing great. She's adding a few words a day to her vocabulary. The best part is she LOVES when we read to her and is always bringing us books to read to her. Sometimes she just sits on the floor and takes a book and mumbles her way through it like she's reading it. She also runs around the house pointing at things and saying what they are in English and in German so that's pretty cool. Anyway, I think that's about it. I will try and get back on the ball with the blogging but I have been pretty busy lately. I will also be out of town in Virginia from the 11th to the 15th of September so don't expect to hear from me then. Toodles.

My bum is on your lips

2006-08-23T08:41:00.000-04:00

Yo yo yo whassup! Not much going on here. Rockstar was pretty good last night. The guy Ryan had a pretty good original song which was cool. I didn't like Patrice's song....I think she's going this week. They got 8 contenstants left and the show ends in 3 weeks so they may have one or two shows where they kick 2 people off again.

I have my golf match tonight. Good stuff, it is supposed to be pretty nice out I think but who the hell knows since weather people cannot tell more than a few hours out.

I don't have any political/social issues to rave about today. Well I do--I ALWAYS do-- but I will keep them to myself. I will say this though...NOAA says that this hurricane season is OFFICIALLY less active than average. Therefore global warming is a fraud (if you use the alarmists' logic). They also said that glacier melt has been occurring since at least the late 1800's based on a study originated in the late 19th century in Greenland. Therefore, how can glacial melt be a result of our environmental "abuse"? Al Gore, go fuck yourself.

Sorry I haven't been too creative on my blog lately. I've actually been kinda busy since it is getting to the end of the fiscal year and there are budget drills, jockeying for more money and meetings out the wazoo going on. It's funny how all year long people spend and throw money at things like madmen and then Aug/Sept roll around and everyone is all jumpy about justifying their expenditures and whatnot. Since my program is under budget I don't have to worry about such nonsense so I am gleefully amused by those who are worrying about it.

DAMN! I gotta run....my pet rock just took a shit on my desk

Howdy Doo!

2006-08-21T12:03:00.000-04:00

Hope everyone's weekend was good. Mine sucked...it all started with the party we went to Saturday.....one lady was there with her 3 kids that she has no business having and runied the whole thing because she has no idea how to handle them. I am no model parent but when your 5 year old daughter is running around another person's house breaking stuff and you're just saying how she's just being a kid then you need to smack the piss outta the little fucker and get your tubes tied.

Sunday they said it was supposed to rain so my dad and I canceled our boating trip....it was fucking beautiful out. All weathermen suck fucking moose dick. I'd like to shit right in their mouths.

Friday night I got a bad scare....I woke up at 4 in the morning coughing and couldn't breathe...at all. I was struggling to get any air whatsoever and it took me about 5 minutes until I was able to start breathing halfway normal again. I have had it happen a couple times since just as I am doing whatever during the day over the weekend. So I broke down and made a doctors appointment for tomorrow because that thing Friday night scared the living piss out of me. I was really close to passing out and I seriously thought that was it. It was like I forgot how to fucking breathe.

Okay now in true Vinny fashion I am going to bring up 2 controversial subjects. I will probably be scolded for it but hey, I don't care....this is my opinion and I am entitled to it. The 2 subjects are education and race....kinda in a related sense.

I'd like to ask what's the deal with education? I have 2 beefs in general: First, why are teachers and not parents/students being held accountable? Why are teachers evaluated primarily on the performance of their students? Because like everything else...it is a copout. That's why you have these stupid fucking kids walking around with their pants falling down and cannot complete one proper sentence. You know how many times I hear these fucking idiots talk to their parents or something and their parents just respond to them in a normal manner? I am not talking about a minority of students either! Until these fucking mongrols are held accountable then education will continue on its decline no matter how much money is pumped into it.

Secondly, why is it that since blacks and other minorities have lower average standardized test scores, the tests MUST be unfair and prejudiced. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever fucking heard. Should we now include a Martin Luther King Jr section between the math and verbal to "even it out"? I took the SATs twice and the ACTs once. I did very well on all of them. However, I do not remember anything biased or prejudiced whatsoever. I also don't remember the black or latino students in my math classes or english classes getting different instruction than I did. I guess it cannot be possible at all that blacks and other minorities just score lower and it works out that way. That is IMPOSSIBLE because it would imply that maybe a particular ethnic group has some policing of its own to do and maybe has to try a little harder and be accountable for something. IMPOSSIBLE! We HAVE to find a reason for this....and like everything else let's blame racism and pull out the card once again. Don't get me wrong....there is certainly discrimination that goes on....but standardized testing is not one of these areas. Get real. Hey, I be gots a dope idea....let's be teachin' ebonics to da kidz dis way dey be talkin' real good. Den dey would be improvin' on dey verbal SAT! Let's not forget...many blacks, latinos and other minorities receive very high scores so what's the reason for that?!?! Asians score the highest! Hey white folks let's rise up and claim racism because the Asians are scoring better than us!

If you want to talk about fucking blatant discrimination and BULLSHIT one needs to look no further than affirmative action.....THAT's fucking discrimination. You mean to tell me that I, as an employer or educator, have to take someone of lesser credentials because they're black or any other color? Kiss my fucking ass. Why can't we hire or accept the best qualified? I don't care if they're all black, white, yellow, purple or green....I want to most qualified.

I know this sounds harsh and bigoted and all that stuff. I am simply tired of the double standards on the race issue. Yes there's discrimination. Even I hurl the occasion off-color ethnic remark just like many other people whether they admit it or not....okay maybe I do it more than most but I don't consider that racism or discrimination. These are acts of denying someone based on their race or origin. That is something I would not do. Let's take this beyond education for a minute:

Ask a person if they'd feel safer walking around Harlem or Beverly Hills at 2am and I bet almost all of them would say Beverly Hills. Now ask the same group of people, "would you feel safer around a bunch of white people or a bunch of black people?" What do you think they'd say? They'd probably be all offended and think you're a racist. They'd probably give an answer like, "I would feel equally safe around either group." Yeah kiss my ass. These are the same fucking hypocrites that run around crying every time a minority group pulls out the race card. Bill Cosby tells black folks to clean up their act and it is a "wake up call". If I went out and did it I'd be a "bigoted racist". Another example of hypocrisy.

I am not saying racsim or discrimination are right or okay because they're not. They're unacceptable. What I am saying is a) let's fucking hold people accountable for themselves instead of constantly blaming others and b) let's have one standard that works either way.

Well there you go. Yep, very sensitive issue but why can't I comment on or give my opinion of this? Racism works both ways and it is wrong either way.