This week

So I didn't write anything this week.....it was a ridiculous week for me. I haven't had a week as rough as this since I left the army. I will play catch up next week though. Plus it was a slow news week. I am a little bummed that the hot chick got kicked off of American Idol last night. 7th Heaven is nearing the end of its run...bummer. And 'Dancing with the Stars' is almost over. Kind of a rough time.

On a positive note I will be in Madison Square Garden in 3 weeks yukking it up watching a NY Rangers hockey game. I had some good friends in town this past weekend and that got a little crazy.....at least what I remember from it. My parents are coming over tomorrow to watch my daughter while my wife and I go out for a fancy dinner and then "out" afterwards. Still don't know where we're going "out" but we're going.

I heard a joke last week that I tested on my friends over the weekend and it got a pretty good response: " A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "hey buddy, that's pretty neat....where'd you get it?" The parrot says, "Africa!!! There's millions of them!!" Ha ha. Yeah yeah I know it sounds racist but damn that is funny. Besides I will be the first to crack on myself so ptooey! The best was when I told it to a friend of mine who is black and he almost crapped himself laughing! Anyway, that's about it for now. I am drained and tired and exhausted from this week so I am gonna stop typing right now and go home and have some beer and record some more music. Have a good weekend. TOODLES!

Babies are cute

I love babies....they are soooooo CUTE!

Grow Up!!!

Last night my wife said something like, "Vinny, you're 32 but sometimes you act like you're 10". I asked what she meant by that and she gave me a big laundry list of things I have done over the last few years to try and prove her point.
1) "When we still lived in Germany why did you have to take all your clothes off and run down the street naked during the first snowfall each year?"
2) "Don't you remember doing a strip tease dancing on the poles in the subway in NY?"
3) "Vinny, 32 year old men don't get pissed off at the barmaids, walk outside, drop their pants and put their naked ass against the window of the restaurant while people are trying to eat!" (To which I replied...."but I was only 29 at the time!!!")
4) "Vinny how come when you're outside the house smoking you always have to pee in the yard?"
5) "Vinny grown men don't dress up in a ridiculous pimp or chef outfit and go to the bowling alley and make a big scene." (although she admitted that she liked this one)
6) "But Vinny you gave a speech to my family trying to speak in German and told them you have a big penis!"

So I started to realize that I have an affinity for doing things involving clothing removal and/or making a big scene. Is there anything wrong with this? Yeah I am 32 and a dad now but I prefer to think of it as "keeping things interesting". Maybe somtimes things get out of control but somebody's gotta be the goofball right?

Sick Excuses

Now that I am a parent I will be expected to write a note when my daughter misses school. She still has 4 years until she starts school but it is never too early to get a good grasp on sick excuses. Below is a list I found of some pretty good excuses for sick notes:

Dear school: Pleas exkuse John for being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and 33.
Chris have an acre in his side.

Mary could not come to school because she was bother by very close veins.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

I kape Billie home because she had to Christmas shopping because I didn't no what size she wear.

John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Please excuse Gloria, She been sick and under the doctor.

My son is under the doctor's care and could not take fizacal ed. Please execute him.

Lillie was absent from school yesterday as she had a gang over.

Please excuse Blanch from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, she fell out of a tree and misplaced her hip.

Please excuse Joyce from jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Joey Friday, he had loose vowels.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football, he was hurt in the growing part.

My daughter wouldn't come to school Monday because she was tired. She spent the weekend with some Marines.

Please excuse Sandra from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps [cramps].

Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour trout [sore throat].

Please excuse Wayne for being out yesterday because he had the fuel [flu].

Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.

Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

Please forgive Clarence for being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had penis trouble and had to be serpent sized.

The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be evaporated.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah diahoah dyah the shits.

Madonna digs for clams

'Nuff said?

Ahhh Pigeon Poo!!!

I think it is really funny that while broadcasting live from Italy this morning--as part of some kind of NBC Olympic kickoff--Katie Couric was pooped on by a bunch of pigeons! Apparently I am not the only one who doesn't like her! The funniest part??? She was wearing some kind of leather/latex gloves presumably to protect her from some kind of bird-borne illness, virus or disease! Well poop on her head isn't gonna help any.

In other news I am happy that the Steelers won the Super Bowl...even though it was one of the sloppiest games I can recall.

I am still monitoring the Muslim protest situation and with every passing minute I realize that my previous post is entirely true.

Yesterday was my birthday. I successfully avoided any kind of awareness of it at work. In fact, other than my wife, parents and broker....I only received one birthday wish. Don't despair for me....that's a good thing. I am 32 now and officially old. Nice. Nice.

So the Muslims are Angry...What's New?

Well well slander sure has a way of touching a nerve. For instance, Muslims gathered in the town square burning American and other western flags. Or how about burning effigies of various western leaders every weekend? Family picnic? No thank you, I will be down at the town square burning flags and hopefully not myself in the process. Let’s not even discuss the caricatures in Muslim publications depicting President Bush, Prime Minister Blair and other western leaders.

So now the Danish have printed a cartoon in a newspaper depicting the prophet mohammad (not capitalized on purpose) wearing a turban in the shape of a bomb. Muslims call it blasphemous. The Danish and now German, Italian, Belgian, French and English papers who have printed and re-printed these cartoons call it freedom of the press. I tend to agree with the latter and not only because I wouldn’t trust a Muslim as far as I could throw him. These cartoons have begun Muslim uprising throughout Europe and Asia. It is exactly this mob mentality that I discussed yesterday! Take the Hajj for example—the annual Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca: in 1990 1,426 of these pilgrims were killed in a stampede. In 1994 270 more pilgrims; 251 more in 2004 and just this year 346. That’s not counting to 100-200 every year in between. Now the same thing is occurring throughout Europe and Asia and the only reason they aren’t stampeding is because they’re not confined to a smaller area (i.e. Mecca).
Indonesian Foreign Ministry spokesman Yuri Thamrin said that the dispute was not just between Jakarta (Indonesia) and Copenhagen (Denmark).
"It involves the whole Islamic world vis-a-vis Denmark and vis-a-vis the trend of Islamophobia," he said. Well you know what Mr. Ministry spokesman – although in the Islamic world the contents of media and press are dictated by Islam that is not the case in the west. If Muslims feels the need to emigrate to western countries then they better learn to deal with it like civilized people. But many of us know better than that.

Of all people French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy condemned the protests by saying, “I am totally shocked and find it unacceptable that—because there have been caricatures in the west—extremists can burn flags or take fundamentalist or extremist positions which would prove the cartoonists right.” Well Philippe, since when do Muslims need a cartoon to set flags on fire. I believe the cartoonists were proven right a long long time ago. President Bush said in his State of the Union address (and I am paraphrasing) that we must fight the few extremist Muslims who give a bad name to a noble faith. Well Mr. President I respectfully disagree, I believe it is many who give a bad name to a few. And they’re shitty cab drivers too!

A Person is Smart......

But people are stupid. This is a great saying....and an entirely accurate one as well. As a lone individual a person can listen, rationalize and if need be, disagree. However, as a member of a large group that same person becomes a member of a mob predicated upon group-think. An irrational collection of otherwise rational persons. Throw political correctness into the mix and *BAM* you have a cauldron of idiocy!

This is the problem with the whole wire-tapping/eavesdropping issue going on in front of the Senate Intelligence Committe today. Do I agree with the program? Bet your ass I do. I don't think it is done nearly enough. "But Vinny, what if they're tapping your phone line or reading your e mail?" Let them....I have nothing to hide. Honestly, do people really believe that the spooks (clandestine agents) sit around the NSA listening to Joe Schmoe's phone call or reading his e mail? After the 8 disasterous years between 1992 and 2000 when the intelligence community was gutted, do people believe that they have the fincancial resources or manpower to waste on something other than a strong liklihood? Now since some "holier than thou-do as I say not as I do" politician felt the need to leak the program to the press, more of my money is being wasted with Senate hearings. Now everyone is in a big uproar: "Oh my GOD!! My rights are being violated." Because people, especially when fueld by the media, are stupid.

The whole thing is best summed up by the director of a foreign intelligence agency to CIA Director Porter Goss, "Mr. Goss, can't you Americans keep a secret?"

I don't know what his answer was but I know what it should have been. "No sir, we cannot. Like the citizens of your country, Americans have rights. However, unlike your country, we unfortunately put citizens' sensitivity before the well-being and national security of our land."